About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, August 1, 2016

MONDAY #2779

One Of My Very Own…



ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com



"Privacy is a human right. People should have control over and access to the data they produce. ... No one can predict who will have the access and control in the future. Data about you is a leverage point for predicting and influencing your future actions. It is power over you."
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Australia is shifting its longitude and latitude by 1.5m to fix a discrepancy with global satellite navigation systems and make sure self-driving cars, drones and tractors know where they're going.
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App to find the space station over your house:
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About ready for the Rio Olympics.

What a planetary embarrassment.
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What a wonderful sign.

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Muslims have refused to bury one of the terrorists who murdered a Catholic priest as he celebrated Mass.

"What this young man did was sinful, he is no longer part of our community," said a Muslim leader.
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Guy Jumps From a Plane at 25,000 ft Without Using a Parachute and Lands Into a Net

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I have a new young female friend named Amanda. She's on the kitchen staff of my bar. She and a lot of other people and I have been betting regularly on horse races that come on daily. I told several people of an article that I read which explained that the reason there weren't more female jockeys is women's lack of grip strength. When I told Amanda, she reached over and grabbed my hand and almost broke it, then she said, "I was once a jockey." I asked how she got that incredible grip and she said that she started out by taking as many as twenty horses a day for practice runs, and practice runs takes the same grip.
Later she showed me a picture on her phone with the jockey's view out the gate. She said that's what she calls driving while texting.
I asked her if it was true that there was a man watching for every horse to have all four feet on the ground before he opened the gate and she said I was correct. She said that to teach a horse to calm down in the gate, during training no horse was allowed out of the gate while acting up. Lesson: If you want out, calm down.
She also said that because of their eye placement, horses don't know how big and powerful they are, thus further facilitating easier domestication.

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This is much harder than you think.

The trick is to know that cool colors recede and warm colors come forward. (Yellows and reds are warm; blues and greens are cool.)

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I give it 6 months before Banksy does a graffiti of the statue of liberty with the snapchat dogface filter on it.


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If your first thought was 'My her feet must be hot in those boots', I have some bad news for you.


And...

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If I swallow a wiener whole, will it come out the same way? I feel like it would be really good if that happened.


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It's true. Many of us, including me, were our parent's New Year's Eve celebration.

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Saw a rather interesting movie: He Never Died. An old story told rather well.

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I was so hungry once that I actually considered eating a salad.

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¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Law and Order is jut Scooby Doo for adults.

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And stone doesn't burn, perfect for defense.


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Images like this bring back some of my cherished memories.

But that ain't near enough bacon.

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Nobody has ever accused me of fucking a chicken...so far.

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Oh, my, oh, my, oh, my...

And, I might add, if you have never bonded a woman, or been bonded yourself, then I feel sorry for you....and her.

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Heck, I may be permanently banned in Russia for this...


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Being an adult in 2016 is mainly just recharging devices.

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3-D Printed Sugar Cubes...because why the hell not...



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List of words containing "meow": meow, meowing, meows, homeowner.
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Be the hawk not the drake.


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The World's Deepest Hole lies under this rusty cap.

The Kola Superdeep Borehole, an abandoned Cold War attempt by the Soviets to drill to the center of the Earth, stretches a third of the way through the continental crust.

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I had never heard of this before...







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These are fun...





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People give me a lot of shoutouts, because that's the only way I can hear them.

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All things Ralph...


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The 1977 Misuse of Drugs Act was found unconstitutional by the Irish Court of Appeal this morning, making the drugs it prohibits (technically) legal.

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UNUSUAL PEOPLE




My wife used to do this for me.




That is one of the funniest photographs I have ever seen.


Can someone edit the rope out of this?

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Good guy or bad guy?


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Instead of asking if I would like to retry when encountering an error, computers should ask if I would like them to try harder. 

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I spot things like this all the time.

My all time favorite is the two guys pouring the molten gold to make the calf in Ten Commandments. One of them burns the shit out of his legs and hops around like a snake bit little girl.

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Different ways to ask forgiveness in Japan.


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Men are more sexy than women because you can't spell sexy without XY.

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Thanks.


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Smoking pot may be illegal, but then again, so is the music on your iPod.

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