About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

SATURDAY #2826

One Of My Very Own…



EMAIL
ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com
KEY PACKET TUTORIAL
http://folioolio.blogspot.com/2015/07/key-packet-tutorial.html

Back when being able to sing mattered...















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My daughter once told her mother that she knew why girls don't have penises...they fall off. Then added, "I found yours under your pillow."


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Indigenous Filipinos in Coney Island Human Zoo

In 1905 an American showman named Truman Hunt persuaded 50 members of the Bontoc Igorrote tribe to leave their homes in the far north of the Philippines and travel with him to America. He took them to Coney Island and instructed them to put on a “tribal show.”

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I'm always suspicious of "Scientists" who predict things. I'm more inclined to think it is two teenagers in their computer lab in high school.

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CHILDREN OF THE UKRAINE






Speaking of...

A Soviet soldier's last words were found on a note hidden inside an empty rifle cartridge. This is what was found by amateur archeologists last month.

"An hour ago Emelyanov Volodya from Bashkirya has died, and I Digen Vasily Nikolaevich am left alone. Fascists are conducting a harsh bombardment, I am injured and won't live long. At night remaining survivors from the company surrendered to fashist scum, but retribution will still find them. I am staying here, will die, but not surrender to the enemy. Tell my wife Anna Fedorovna in Chkalov region that I defended the Motherland as best as I could. We will be victorious nonetheless!!! 30 August 1942. Digen V. N. Avenge me, guys."

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But that misses the point. Police must be judged by a higher standard than civilians. They get paid to keep the peace - not to disturb it; and to protect - not to harm.

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Bullshit...

But that silencer works so good I didn't hear a thing.

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THE AUTOMOBILE

A car once left the road, drove through a very thick hedge, went across another street, then in one wall of an apartment, across the room, out the other wall, across the lawn, hit two cars, across another street, across that lawn and slammed into another apartment. The lady said she was going 35 miles per hour. I lived in the apartment next door.


I've always been disappointed that NASCAR doesn't race in the rain like open wheel cars. Indy Cars simply change tires and the race goes on.

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Me when my wife showed me "a thing" she and her old boyfriend used to do...


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You call them swear words. I call them sentence enhancers.

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More gifts from Hubble



And yet we still think we are special.

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I find this depressing...

I've seen those magnificent creatures turned into beggars in Alaska and it just ain't right.

Speaking of...


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Let me give you some answers for when someone asks you to name something you learned today...


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How can Kool-Aid Man smash through brick walls fully intact when he's made of glass.

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What happens next?

A. A man on an ostrich races by.
B. The chair catches on fire.
C. The chair explodes, sending the man hurling across the sidewalk.
D. A bullet shatters the glass right beside his head.

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The Bystander Effect is when we all think "Nah, someone else will donate to Wikipedia."

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C. The chair explodes, sending the man hurling across the sidewalk.
I'm assuming he took the wrong man's seat.

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When "that thing" she and her old boyfriend used to do turns out to be incredible...


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Every bar needs one...

But I don't drink a lot. I drink a little bit all the time.

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I've heard that Texans bet on high school football like the other states bet on college games. But you have to admit, that seems a little excessive without knowing the return from ticket sales and concessions.

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The beverage industry has been pushing the idea that you need to be drinking water and sugar water all day long, but according to Oakland University exercise physiologust Tamara Hew-Butler DPM, PhD, that's not true. "Our bodies already possess an extremely sensitive measure of dehydration," she says in this entertaining mythbusting video. "It's called thirst."

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I had never thought of it in just that way.

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Back when men were men and children were crippled.
And then I noticed this...

You think he is falling or on a swing? I'm not sure.

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Can you read the number inside the red circle?

I could...but I'm an artist.

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NiceBalls. A dangling prosthetic accessory that sticks easily, discreetly and efficiently to your desk.

Its suspension rate creates a Euclidean curve that encourages relaxation and provides the few moments of escapism that we all need once in a while.

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The number in the red circle was a large 38.

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And that, Gentle Reader, is exactly what would happen.

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My city doesn't not have a single numbered street or avenue. They are all names of famous(ish) people. That means that in order to find an address you have to memorize the whole fucking map.
Birmingham, AL on the other hand, has the most logical system known to man. A total stranger can find any address in minutes the moment he gets there.

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A couple of things that deserve another viewing...



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Am I the only one who thinks that arrest reports shouldn't published without a conviction?

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How Men And Women Differ 
In The Art Of Conversation

During lunch with my wife and five of her female friends, one of the women made a statement about the necessity of raising taxes on corporations. I began to mentally form a coherent rebuttal concerning pension funds and stockholders, then after a respectful pause began: "I read a recent article in Newsweek Magazine about that very thing..." I was promptly interrupted by one of the women saying, "My husband told me to cancel our subscription to Newsweek when they increased the bill."
Then the conversation took an unusual journey.

"My water bill was double this month. Double!"
"It has already been a month since my son got married."
"My son has changed major again!"
"My husband was a Major in the army when we got married."
"I joined the army when I was 22, but never made it out of bootcamp."
"Look at these boots I got on sale for only $80."
After 20 or so minutes one of them looked at me and said, "What were you saying about Newsweek?"
"I'm going to cancel my subscription."

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If you were the government and wanted to maintain a state of perpetual war, how would you go about it? First, you'd need an enemy, of course, but that part would be pretty straightforward. After all, if the US government could convince the citizenry that Iraq was the 9/11 enemy but that Saudi Arabia was our friend when nineteen out of the twenty 9/11 hijackers were Saudi, it's fair to say that just about anything is possible. But the next part would be harder. On the one hand, you'd have to claim progress in the war so that the citizenry would maintain its support for the war. On the other hand, you couldn't actually defeat the enemy, lest the war end. That is to say, you'd have to maintain a longterm, delicate balance: we would always be winning in the war, but would never actually win the war.



1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Raising taxes on corporations is an easy position for some folks. They make too much money or they have an extremely low negotiated tax rate in the state (or country) they're in. Let's GET THEM!

Unfortunately, finance is simple. Company X sells gadget Y for $115. It cost them $100 to make Y (15% profit margin). Sure, raise my taxes 20% on my $15 profit ($3). My costs are now $103 for Y. I'll still price in my 15% margin for stockholder profits, reinvestment in new technology and hiring new employees. X simply raises the price to $118.45.

Now those 'evil' corporations now make the same margin and actually bring home $0.45 more profit on the same Y. Same thing on raising the minimum wage. So go ahead, vote for higher taxes on company X, they'll thank you but you'll feel better when Y now costs $3.45 more.. If you get the entire added taxes in your government handout, you'll get $3 and take home less money.

As if they'll just eat the added costs... Just like healthcare, sure we'll ensure all these people...but we need a direct government handout to do so. Now some people get the perception of 'affordable' healthcare as they only pay part of the bill. Your taxpaying neighbor foots the rest of it for you. And the overall cost for everyone (person + government) went up. How is that better for the country?

The answer is making the country more attractive to business that pay wages to Americans to spend in the economy, not making it less attractive!

I fear the future for my children left without a chair when this music stops.

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