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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, September 15, 2016


One Of My Very Own…


That one took me longer than it should have.

This image was taken last night from my brother-in-law's apartment window in New Jersey.

Don't forget to wear condoms. That's how we lost Freddy Mercury and how we got Donald Trump.

A permanent stable cavity caused by the detonation on an underground nuclear test in 1961.

Speaking of nukes...
Ever wonder how much a nuke would fuck up your life?

Here's a site to simulate the destruction caused by all nuke sizes including the Tsar Bomba, the largest USSR bomb ever DESIGNED at 100 MEGATONS


Women who ink their bodies...

This young woman looks very similar to the firefighter my wife and I saw at a forest fire staging area out west.

Did you even notice the sword?

One of the greatest women to ever live and most of you won't even recognize her.

Hint: Her husband's last name is Gates and together they are the greatest philanthropists of all time.

What happens next?

A. A plane lands.
B. A man riding an ostrich races by.
C. A tornado upends most of the cars.
D. A lion jumps out of the car on the left.

Photographer uses 160 year old "camera" for portraits.

“My tintype images are created using equipment made more than 160 years ago,” writes the photographer on his website. “From an era when cameras were made by craftsmen in small shops and lenses were designed using slide rules, experience and feel. The inherent flaws of these instruments lend themselves perfectly to my view of a beautifully imperfect world.”


Speaking of...
Ever wonder how they used to type up sheet music?

Well, they had a machine to notate ballet moves...

Wife: If you had to do it all over again, would you?
Me: Yeah.
W: You would? Why?
M: Because I know what the words "had to" means.

Dress for the slide, not the ride.

Omurice aka the Japanese omelette

That's what happens when you take food presentation very, very seriously.


"Do you tell jokes to make people laugh or to make people think you're funny?"
"I make jokes to make myself laugh because I know I'm funny."

I will forever be in awe...

It took us months to come up with names for our daughters because I kept rejecting the names of porn stars I was familiar with.

Sad clown Emmett Kelly, in his performer’s makeup, carrying a bucket of water in the aftermath of the Hartford circus fire of July 6, 1944, in which at least 167 people were killed.

The tragedy is often called “The day the clown cried.”


The first person who ever heard a parrot speak must have really freaked out.

A better image of the guy who carved a road through a mountain.

His wife died due to the long 44 mile trip around the mountain to the hospital in India, so he spent the next 22 years of his life digging a 120yard, 25 feet deep, 30 feet wide passage.

His name was Dashrath Manjhi.

Marines returning home...

Marathons should keep going until only one person hasn't shit themselves and that person should be the winner.


B. A man riding an ostrich races by.

You've probably seen these.

Context for those that don't know: Downhill routes often have "runaway truck" ramps on the side of the road for large trucks whose brakes have failed. Long trails of 3ft deep gravel to help stop the truck.
But it's a lot more violent than one would think.

Speaking of violent...
Where we're going, we don't need roads...

For six very unlucky people, a wall of fire rushing at their face was the last thing they ever saw.


Or so I'm told.


The Trolley Problem is pretty straight forward. Would you throw the switch to kill one person instead of five.

But there are numerous slants, like if throwing that guy off the bridge would stop the train, would you?

What about if you switching tracks saves your five, but puts 15 more in undetermined danger

Then this one...

Then there's this little fellow with his own unique problem solving skills...

If I had 50 cents for every math class I've failed, I would have $6.30.

Propaganda is essential in war times...

And if all else fails, promise him he'll get laid...

One man's mug shots through the years

When fabulous meets felonious.

"Did you suffer from PTSD from traumatic events?"
"No, I was the traumatic event."


Yeah, like god would allow him to bring his equipment with him.
Which nurtures some interesting observations...

So, the angels had clothing and wings. If a supernatural being can break the laws of physics, why the need for wings. And what exactly are the robes made of?
There, of course, is a logical explanation. The writers and artists were just guessing at things they had no way of understanding...like the size of the muscles it would require to power such wings.


And similarly...


If I had a time machine I'd go back 10 years and tell myself "Write down the names of all the people you loan stuff to."


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