About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016


One Of My Very Own…


Let little Jimmy Taylor ease you through your morning...

My wife eats potato chips like the tree guy feeds the wood chipper.
(that's a visual joke)


It's funny how you become mom's new favorite when your sibling goes in jail.


This is what Timberlands look like...

I'll just be damned! Who would have thought?

There was a whole collection of mass murderers.

Each one upped the total of the one before it.

And the all time winner?

And believers find nothing odd about their all loving and merciful magic man using his power to kill 99.99% of the human population. Even though he KNEW they would misbehave from the first, cause he knows everything. I call that inadequate instructions.

Well, don't you want to know? And if not, why not?


I've always wanted to set my phone ringtone to "door knock", then slip it into a coffin, then when they close it I would dial the number.

These guys have a plethora of these clips. He walks right at these two girls and says something. Can you figure out what he said to cause such a reaction?

"That's a sweet Camel toe you got there."
The blue tarp to catch the camel shit is a classy touch.

But this is my all time favorite. He offers free milk samples, then...

If found that hilarious!

Have you ever walked out of a movie because the actor's fake typing was so bad?

My wife sent me an article about this and I Snoped it.

Here is where it happened...

Many years before I was stuck at Goose Bay.

You have no way of knowing how cold it was. As I recall the coldest day was 56 below zero.
Then those fine folk in the small town of Ganger took care of thousands of passengers stranded when all aircraft were ground on 9/11. It was an impressive effort and they should not be forgotten.

Then theirs this real prick - Marvin's Killdozer

This is what happens when you push a man to his limits. This town fucked with this guys bread and butter so badly that he created this insane destruction machine to get revenge on the people who he thought wronged him. What stopped this machine? He high centered it. Then offed himself.


So for tying a dog up, they put a human beings in a cage? Sure, why not?

When I found out my daughter was smoking marijuana I gave her an air guitar.

Interactive Wall

Notice how they gave the pieces real "weight."

Looking for some gift ideas for my upcoming birthday? Art Vision clock.

How a piano key works.

And every single piece of that is needed for something. Truly amazing. Think of how much trial and error it took to come up with that.


You never know when you might need such information.

My wife is such a bad cook I pray after I eat.


Notice South Carolina's is Germany. That's because we have a huge BMW plant here, and a Michelin tire factory. We more or less bribed them to relocate hear. All states bribed them, but we bribed better.

I can only assume that we send them most of our cotton, of which we have a lot.

A mother's love...

I wonder why she walked all the way over before getting in the water. Why didn't she just jump down?
I bet those cubs will never make that same mistake again. If they were human children they would do it just to see their mom hurry her fat ass down a river.

Victorian Post-mortem photography

Because nobody can out freak those zany Victorians.

My wife finally shaved her legs...

You'd think antelopes and cantaloupes would have something in common.


If there is one thing the Internet has taught us it is that even the dumbest people on Earth have somehow learned how to use the Internet.


All things dollar bills...

'Invisible' statues in Scottish forests

We have both reached the age where what I cook for supper is greatly influenced by how many pans my wife has to wash. And that's true.


Just wondering...

Do you gun rights guys think I ought to be able to own one of those?

AH-64 Attack Helicopter helmet to gun tracking system.

Why don't they use the same system on the machine guns on tanks, or Humvees or Navy ships?

My cable channel has one shy of 2000 channels. I pay for 1978 that I will never view. Does that make sense to anybody?


No photoshopping, just awesome image of guys with watermelons on their heads.

Wait for it...

A 737 performing an approach in near zero visibility, relying solely on the instruments in the cockpit in what's known as an ILS CAT IIIA approach. Balls of steel.

Nifty MiniDrive for MacBooks add up to 200GB of extra internal storage and slips directly into your MacBook's SD card slot.

A phone-bank worker at Britain's Department of Work and Pensions describes the cruel system under which calls are handled, designed to purge the faintest hint of sympathy and to likewise deny callers access to basic, vital information without which their benefits will not be approved, or can be terminated.

The DWP is who you call if you've been widowed and need help caring for your children, or when you get a cancer diagnosis, or when your organs fail.
That, Gentle Reader, is government health care.


According to a new University of Arizona study, instant ramen is the most valuable currency at US prisons surpassing even cigarettes.
The study paints a bleak picture of the state of food available in our penal system.

A Testimonial From A Guy I Don't Know:
When my (late) wife's remarkable and much loved oncologist said, "Don't take Carol to that alternative (non FDA approved) treatment." I asked, "Why not?" He said, "The unknown." I said, "Doctor, your 'known' is much worse than the alternative treatment's 'unknown.'"

A hooker once told me she had a headache.


You can't fathom how absurd most of us find such hogwash.

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