About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, September 5, 2016

MONDAY #2814

One Of My Very Own…



Mosquito spray in South Florida is also killing honey bees.

Radar catches birds taking off during earthquake Saturday...

The prank must be universal...

At least his brother liked it.

"So I go east? Then west? Then back east?" ~ Drunk me getting directions from the inflatable man in front of a car dealership.
(they can't all be gems...it's a visual joke)


Finally she just gives up and let's the floor eat her.

I've known a lot of women and not one of them would voluntarily put their vagina directly on that tree.

I've never hated a neighbor enough to get wind chimes.


HER: Do you consider yourself a feminist?
ME: Oh I'm not feminist at all!
ME: In fact, some of my best friends are women.
(that actually speaks volumes.)

I could sit and watch the surf for hours...

The examples of hypocrisy are endless...

The arabs are just as perverted as anybody else. They just go to designated areas to do it...like Baptists.


Got this from a viewer with "This has you all over it."

The caption read: The Curved Chastity Cage: Comfortable, affordable, high quality plastic.

Comfortable? I think not.

Then there's this...

I predict that history will be very cruel to this man.


I get so tired of people asked me why my dick is out, like I would know.


Concept for the next generation of self-driving trucks.

A bike with no spokes...

I wonder if it is just as efficient as the normal bike. I have often thought about the wind resistance of each of those dozens of spokes cutting through air. But a solid disc like on some Olympic bikes would eliminate that friction. So what's the payoff?

We should start broadcasting Independence Day into space with "based on a true story" at the beginning so aliens don't try to start any shit.


Here's my take: Universities go to great lengths to attract black students; even to lowering the standards. Sorry, but it's true. They do this because of federal guidelines that control the cash handouts. Once the minorities found that off, they knew they could make demands (some of them childish) and still be taken seriously.

What kind of parent would allow something like that? It's hard to see if the mouth is taped shut, but even then it could inflict great damage on such a small child.

Me giving my daughter her first swimming lesson: "Get this wrong and you die."

Alarmingly, a site I once visited regularly has begun posting many what I can only call "Snuff-Films." Things like people jumping in front of trains, etc.
Here's an example that I chose not to post in Gif form.
Normal looking trauma room in a hospital.

Man visiting patient in the very top most bed walks over to another patient's bed and pours something on said man.

There is a scuffle...

Then he lights his lighter and sets everyone on fire.

The clip did not end with the flash, but continued to show several people slowly burn to death.
I post that only as a protest of intruding on those innocent people's lives in the moments of their deaths. We should not have a right to see that.

Satisfying things...

Having built many, many things around my house and elsewhere, I have lucked into stuff like that and it gave me a real rush.

A couple of new places to hide your valuables...

This thing goes in the bottom of your cup holder...

Everyone complains about the weather but nobody's sacrificing a virgin to change it anymore. You know why? Because more modern men found that shit to be insane. Just wait until you hear what future generations are going to say about you Christians pretending to cannibalize your savior. I mean that is far beyond barbaric and has settled firmly in the camp of cultish.


I don't think that's the first time that man has done that.
As an added note, I had a young friend who was at a festival in Charleston, SC and had to pee real bad, so he went far down an alley and stood behind a dumpster to relieve himself. That when a cop jumped up and stuck his head over the wall and busted him for public exposure. And FOR THAT he is a registered sex offender.
That just ain't right, y'all.


Ya home? Short for Are you home.
Ya hungry...Are you hungry.
Kind of interesting don't ya think?


I have developed a habit of using this last spot in each post for things you've all seen, but are too funny not to see again.

I don't know why these Jehovah's Witnesses won't give me their phone numbers in case I think of something more to shout at them.



Anonymous said...

Solid wheel disk no good in wind.

Ralph Henry said...

That makes perfect sense.

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