About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016


One Of My Very Own…


Remember this...

Have some fun today. So something stupid...just for fun.

This is a thing you can buy now...

I'll probably bite the bullet on this one...

But here's the only sane response...


After 4 years of peace talks, today the president of Colombia and the leaders of the Fuerzas Armadas Revolucionarias de Colombia (FARC) are finally sitting down to sign a peace treaty.

When Wells Fargo fired 5,300 employees for opening 2,000,000 accounts in its customers name (stealing their cash and trashing their credit scores in the process), it wanted us all to know that it had cleaned house, because this was just 5,300 people who, without any help from senior management, all happened to coincidentally engage in the same fraud.
Now for the good news... NASA gets 19 billion dollars to go to Mars.

NASA has 25 years to get man on Mars. Now let the 
Elon Musk vs. NASA space race begin.

Have you noticed that no matter how funny something smells it never makes us laugh.


Is this art?

Of course it's art. Just because it is temporary does not disqualify it. The same for being free.

My friend has decided that he will start collection every $1 bill that he finds with a star on the serial number. He asked me if that was a stupid thing to do.

I told him about my hobby of collecting stones shaped like hearts and shells with holes in them. Then I told him that it never occurred to me to ask anyone if it was a stupid thing to do. Hobbies, almost by definition, is something that you choose to do with or without permission.

This is what I think about when I hear of unsolicited dick pics...

That shit has been going on a long, long time.

This is a homemade robot.

Looks like Scarlett Johansson relearning to chew gum after a massive stroke.

I posted this once.

Cop hits biker from behind, then this happens. He said he kicked because he ‘already had the muscles fired’ in his right leg.
What they didn't show me was the cop's dash cam BEFORE the encounter.
Here's the biker passing the cop at about twice his speed.

Here passing on a double yellow...

Not once, but twice...

And remember he is flying by at about 100mph. In the South we call that just asking for it.


Tenacious little bastard ain't he...

Dutch police fight drones with eagles

Speaking of birds...

I've taught children that weren't that smart.

My wife has spent the better part of a week arguing that she wasn't stubborn.


I just wonder how my dick would feel in there.

Since the 1830s, the French Foreign Legion has been the 'battered tip of the French army's club' and has accepted individuals not of French birth for many different reasons from approximately 140 different countries.

To be eligible to join, one need only fit a very basic criteria, and present themselves to a recruiting center in France with their passport and ask to join.
My friend who was in Gulf War I told me that the moment the Foreign Legion rolled off their transport aircraft they were ready to go...no calibration of equipment, no checking gear, no nothing.

This is terrifying.

I took a screen shot to show the exact second the one immune strain broke free.

Bullets are the only things that do their job only after being fired.

The day the crane guy lost his job...

The Europeans have this whole snack thing figured out...

Just look at all the different tastes on one plate.

I have a deli that does this to me...

Andy's Deli doesn't do it that bad, but all the pastrami is pilled up in the middle so that when cut it looks two inches thick.

This looks like a good idea...

There are many reasons to do that...

But saving a bunch of money ain't one of them. Just like the other easily grown food - onions, potatoes - they are the cheapest thing to buy at the store.

I haven't posted near enough Russian dance moves lately...

Monday, 9am, Russia
Note white stripe on arms.

How they used to do it under the Tsar.

I have no idea what that is, but it seemed appropriate at the time.

Buying a wallet is like trading your books for a shelf.


Is your life based on a true story? Seriously.

Here's the scenario:
"Astroid the size of a mountain that will destroy all life is heading to Earth. Let's blow it into pieces. No, that will make it worse."
Now correct me if I'm wrong, what could possibly be worse than destroying all life on Earth. Let's look at what would most likely happen if we hit it with enough nuclear weapons to break it into pieces:
- Some of the pieces with be blown out of the path and would not hit Earth.
- Some of the pieces would be small enough to burn up in the atmosphere.
- Most of the pieces would fall in the oceans or one an ice cap.
- We would have time to evacuate the coast to lessen the loss of life from tsunamis.
- There would surely be great damage, but as I see it, any humans that survived makes it a better option than total annihilation.

The heaviest organism on Earth has a name: Pando, or the Trembling Giant.

It consists of around 47,000 genetically identical quaking aspen trees, and resides in Utah's Fishlake National Forest. The trees are technically a single organism united by their shared root system in a clonal colony, which sprawls for more than 100 acres, and is estimated to be anywhere from 80,000 to a million years old. Today, however, the trees are threatened by elk and deer that have been grazing on them aggressively.
I don't think we are thankful enough that the whole world agreed on the same units of time.

If you don't like the site's rules... don't use the site.


That religion thing? They didn't steal it. You gave it away so they could spend eternity in the white man's heaven.
Global warming...


I can transfer data from my brain to someone else's by opening my mouth and pushing air in their direction.


Rosanne Cash, daughter of country legend Johnny Cash.

"Miss my dad, gone 13 yrs today. Here he is after I told him I got a ticket for driving 102 mph in his car."

Get it?

SPOON I couldn't help myself...

Hubble's First Picture of the Entire Bubble Nebula.

It needs a banana for scale.
I would like to know if it was filtered or is that natural colors.

I went to the doctor for excessive masturbating. He told me to get a grip on myself.


No, you really can't do that. You can't assume something could be true because we don't understand something. It reminds me of the great Steve McQueen movie "Sand Pebbles," where the chinaman could only understand a steam engine by visualizing a dragon inside. An agnostic would look at the scene and proclaim: His view is just as valid as Steve McQueen's.
Also, that view doesn't just open up the possibility that your normal run of the mill god exists, but my Flying Spaghetti Monster and L. Ron Hubbard's space men.
Have the guts to demand proof. Proof is your right as a thinking sane human being.

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