About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Saturday, October 8, 2016


One Of My Very Own…

zip a dee do da.

This guy's mother gets very upset when someone honks at her, so he installed this bumper sticker.


Like aurorae, sprites happen when charged particles interact with gases in the atmosphere, likely nitrogen. As ice particles high within thunderclouds bash against one another, an electrical charge builds. An opposite charge builds up on the ground, and eventually both charges connect, creating a spark of light—lightning. When the lightning strike has a positive charge, it can spark a sprite—a kind of electric field that shoots out from the top of the lightning strike—that flashes above the cloud.

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

Sassi d’Autore, Stones Found on the Beach

Not only did I not get the artist's name, I don't even know what this is made of...

A Sasquatch is like a regular quatch that snaps its fingers and says stuff like "OH NO YOU DIT INT!"

Their feet make me very happy...

And you won't believe what I thought this was at first...

This American bomber was struck by a German fighter.

And it still carried the crew home...

Apparently, saying "make it a double" followed by an awkward wink doesn't work at the pharmacy. My wife knows that now.

I find this extremely clever...

I thought 'Sleeping your way to the stop' was a great idea until I learned what kind of "sleeping" they were talking about.

I regret in advance any misinformation I post here on Folio Olio. Please help me get it right and I promise to post your rebuttal.

If you're not saying "you're an idiot" a few times during any interaction with me, you're not truly appreciating my true depth.


When a magnitude 6.8 earthquake shook Olympia, WA in 2001, shop owner Jason Ward discovered that a sand-tracing pendulum had recorded the vibrations.

Rubber band and a paper clip to make perfect 2-point perspective.

I sure wish I knew about that when I was teaching. That is a WONDERFUL technique. Take it from an expert...teach that to you children.

Wanna guess what this is?

Mercury vs. Salt

Is this a public beach?!

Who dreams up shit like that?

Take your crying baby out of the theater. I didn't pay $20 to hear your weak pullout game.


Dear religious people,
Please stop fucking up you children's heads with nonsense.

Deleted scenes are rarely worth the time but on Honey I Shrunk the Kids check out one where the dad thinks he's alone and starts jerking it.

From a witness: "I use to work security for Mosaic and i patrolled the area that had the sinkhole. I use to take my breaks here everyday. When i first started i was told "Do not go near the water, do not touch it, do not drink it, don't even fish in it" and i wondered why but let it go."

Then the bottom opened up and sent the tainted water straight down to the aquifer.

Pollution Lesson Number 965: When you build radiation retention ponds for radioactive water, make sure to put the ponds where sink holes are extremely likely and common. It’s right up there with Pollution Lesson Number 743: When something gets polluted, wait three weeks or longer before telling anyone there might be a problem. Don’t forget bonus Pollution Lesson Number 309: When you build multiple nuclear reactors, make sure to put them on major fault lines next to a giant body of water the whole world depends on for survival. What could go wrong?

From a viewer:
Bought this at a scrap yard in Cleveland recently. 13# of lead. Guys at the yard says it was turned in for scrap by a tall lesbian. Rumor has it she has lead poisoning!

Beggin'Strips: Stop pretending dogs don't know it's not bacon. They smell cocaine in a couch across an airport; I'm sure they know NOT bacon.

Identifies as both mail and female.


“A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte” by Georges Seurat, 1884

A Weekend at Oktoberfest in Germany, 2016

You spoiled brats with your fancy Cheerios flavors. When I was a kid Cheerios had one flavor, and that flavor was paper.


You can do the same thing by tying an old neck tie to a fishing line and reeling it in real quick. Looks just like a snake...trust me.

The moment you realize that your friends calculations were wrong.

Okay, that one is probably not true.

I think you would call him a nihilist. 

I just found out that people can still read words when they’re in parentheses and holy shit do I have a bunch of apologies to write.


Short three minute funny...


Hardly any of the young people I talk to about such things have ever heard of this part of the bible.

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