About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Saturday, October 22, 2016


One Of My Very Own…


That's hilarious.

The Troll Trump campaign has a simple, ingenious mechanic: it lets you pledge a small donation every time Trump posts a new tweet, meaning that the more Trump loses his temper and posts enraged tweetstorms, the more he raises for his arch-rival.

Trump's what you'd get if you added a pot of glue, some glitter & a dog turd to your Build Your Own Hitler Kit.

"I just hope to love someone the way Melania Trump loves Donald's money.

Donald Trump Sings Mahna Mahna

There has every sign that Mosul will be an extraordinary victory of the Iraqis. I wish them the very best.

Isis member trying to scape from Mosul wearing women cloths.


I have a sexually active male friend who decided he wanted to be checked for HIV. His doctor asked him if he only had sex with white girls and and non-prostitutes when told that that was true, the doctor told him not to bother because the chances were too small to waste his money.

Well, shit.

In a viral article entitled “Obituary: Great Barrier Reef (25 Million BC-2016),” however, writer Rowan Jacobsen proclaimed ― inaccurately and, we can only hope, hyperbolically ― that Earth’s largest living structure is dead and gone.
“The Great Barrier Reef of Australia passed away in 2016 after a long illness,” reads the sensational obituary, published Tuesday in Outside Magazine. “It was 25 million years old.
New Survey Reveals We Were Very Wrong About the Number of Galaxies in the Universe

Astronomers, using the Hubble Space telescope and few other observatories, finished the most precise survey of galaxies in the visible universe to date. So if we talk about actual number, let’s just say we were way off. The observable universe—the portion of the universe that’s detectable to us on Earth—comprises about 20 times as many galaxies as previously estimated.
That increases the total number of galaxies to somewhere between one and two trillion, which is up from the earlier best approximation of 100 billion galaxies. Therefore, this means we also have to bring up-to-date the number of stars in the observable universe. So now the total number of stars is around 700 sextillion. That’s a 7 with 23 zeros, or 700 thousand billion billion.
My wife had a large article in a magazine. This was the title:
"The Caffeinated, High-kicking, Baby-loving, Business-owning, Insurance-providing Queen of Five Points."
In honor of the Cleveland Indians wanting Charlie Sheen to throw out the first pitch of the World Series (the greatest idea in sports, ever), I give you Wild Thing:

Crank it up...IT'S SATURDAY!!

If you’re bad at geography and someone asks about an obscure country just say “Isn't that where the oiled up Olympics guy is from?”

A couple of interesting boats.
One old...

One new...

I ran into a boat racer one time and asked him about the different types of boats. One is open cockpit like the orange one above, but the other is a capsule-type that is air tight and more or less unsinkable. He preferred the open cockpit because he did not like the idea of the capsule being upside down and leaking while he's trapped inside.

Is he discussing women's butts?

There is a term among male elementary school teachers: Kindergarten Mom. It's more or less self-explanatory, but once the PE teacher and I were watching a KM walk down the hall and I said, "That is one perfect butt" and he said, "Oh, hell no, I would hurt a girl with a butt that skinny."

God is one funny dude...

Me: What's the point if it's not a little violent, dirty? I wanna feel alive. The blood makes me feel ALIVE.
Dentist: Please just floss more.

He never...

...saw it coming.

Family vacation is when you listen to your kids whine someplace expensive.

This is 3D printing with clay.

Once dry it will be fired in a kiln just like any other vase.

I think he designed it on a computer, printed it out and used that print out as a guide.

I have always been struck by the similarity of this...

To this...

Japanese wood joinery toy.

Mattel used to make the best toys.

I was taught not to even point those at another person. We did it anyway, but at least they tried.

Speaking of guns...This is the M-4 Alaska Survival Derringer. It can fire shotgun rounds and other ridiculously powerful ammo you'd never sanely load into a handgun with a tiny handle. People who own these don't even shoot with them regularly, they are literally just carried in the wilderness to stop a raging grizzly if there are no other options. I want one, because.

What a cute little torturing murderer.

I bet if it could have raped it first he would have done that, too.

How creative photography works nowadays.

This one took me a moment...

And my favorite...

14 year old George Stinney was charged with the murder and sexual assault of two young white girls in South Carolina. George Stinney. Youngest person ever executed in America.

Seeing as he found the bodies and reported them to the police he was obviously guilty in 1944 South Carolina.

Speaking of dying...
Here is how the prop-master constructed that weirdass angled joint at shoulder level.

I, of course, know that the shape more mimics the human body, but it's ten times more work without saving very much wood at all. I forget if that is a coffin or casket....but I think the casket is rectangular.

A candle that smells like a new Mac.

For people who just have to be reminded they have too much money.

Read your bible, damnit!

You think this for for posts to be driven (pounded) into the ground?

This was well thought out, but I bet you have to swing the holy hell out of it.

"Why am I not asleep?" my wife asked, while shining a beam of pure information directly into her eyes from eight inches away.


That brief moment of complete helplessness.

That gif is so white it could be in Congress.

I wonder what his take away was on that.

People who talk to themselves are more intelligent then those who don't, or at least that's what I like to tell myself.

Damn, this looks like fun...

Killing millions of those little fuckers at one time.

Maybe artists wouldn't be so starving all the time if they'd just eat all that fruit they're always painting.

A repost of extraordinary camera work...

Probably one of the coolest camera shots I've seen, 1997 Contact

Asked exterminator if he chose the bug life or the bug life chose him. In the ensuing silence I assume he imagined me dying by fumigation.

And since it's Saturday and you have nothing better to do, I've added a whole bunch of Halloween stuff in time for you to actually use it.

Stranger Things

My favorite...

If it has stopped, try clicking it.

Have a great weekend!

And some people look down on me for quoting only the bad parts of the holy book you say god wrote.

Well, when they banned Catcher in the Rye and Huck Finn, they didn't quote the non-offensive parts either.

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