About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, November 28, 2016

MONDAY #2898

One Of My Very Own...


EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com






"Castro wasn't THAT bad" - said world leaders today. Here is a picture of Fidel executing a political opponent... he was, he was that bad.

No wonder there's a joke that goes "-How's life in Cuba? -I cant complain. -Oh, so it's good? -No, no. I CAN'T complain."
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Everybody today seems obsessed over nomenclature. I've been exchanging emails with a young man who is irked over my refusal to use the new sexuality nomenclature.
Look, I don't give a fuck what you do with your dick or vagina, or what you want to do with somebody else's dick or vagina. I just don't feel that I have any moral obligation to memorize what a group of people decide they want to be called on any given day. Sorry.
If you were born a male (I'm talking about with a dick and balls), but then you really, really think you are a woman - your "thinking" that you are a woman doesn't automatically make you a woman.
I don't want to be absurd here, but there are probably people out there who think of themselves as...goats. But that doesn't make them a goat. That was too harsh. Let me start over.
There are probably people out there who think of themselves as god, but thinking you are a god and being a god is a horse of a whole nother color.
And what the hell is wrong with identifying as a "Man Who Would Rather Be A Woman"? Who decided that using that phrase was some how degrading? And who is this person who decided that you could no longer be a man who would rather be a woman and that instead you must be (fill in the blank with the new term that I am not familiar with) ?
I would go farther: I think that with the infinity of experiences we've all had, each and every one of us have a different view of our own sexuality.
If I really, really liked for my wife to dress up as a nun and spank me until I beg for mercy, do I get to select a name for my sexuality? If I go into a coffee shop and the clerk (can I call them that anymore?) asks "What would you like, sir?" Would I have a right to be offended because he just assumed I was a "sir" instead of a "Naughty Catholic School Boy Who Deserved Discipline?"
Let me leave you with one very, very important thought. Everybody needs to lighten the fuck up. You have 70...90 max years and then you will exist no more. That's it. When you are lying there on your death bed are you going to think back on being offended because some old fart on a blog didn't understand the extreme complexities in the sexual nomenclatures of the early 2000s. Of course not.
With that said, I think that I am a rather nice man who likes to make people laugh. If I have offended you, I am truly sorry. But being offended don't mean shit to me. Somebody just made that whole importance of being offended thing up and I didn't even get a vote.



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People complain about how terrible the world is even though we live in what is by far the most peaceful and prosperous time in human history.

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That is exactly how I feel hearing people discuss this year's politics in America.

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Just as a test, I once squirted No More Tears shampoo directly in my daughter's eyes. She went blind for almost three days.
But she didn't cry.

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What a haunting image.

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Sorry to all the people my wife has yelled at for eating ice cream in a car. Telling her it was illegal was wrong. I know this now.

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(I couldn't have said it better myself)
Oh, and if you are one of those people who complain about women nursing in public...fuck you.

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There are some very strange shapes toward the middle and on the edge of the circle.

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Artist Yee Sookyung uses gold to assemble broken (kind of) random ceramic fragments.

It's called Kintsugi ("golden joinery") or kintsukuroi.



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Guy started a marijuana delivery service in Canada and was arrested. This was his vehicle of choice...

The article was rather confusing, in that in Canada weed is legal. Maybe he didn't have a license.

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ALL THINGS FOOD

I'm assuming that is not the picture of the actual octopus.


Holy cow!

This guy makes art photographs by placing hot dogs in some very unusual places...






Question: How do you learn a thing like that? I mean, how many sentences did he have to test before one worked?

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I don't eat salmon because it is orange; I don't eat anything orange, except oranges, because at least it admits being orange.

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The coverage of FM radio stations across the US.

Should I assume the white areas are covered by AM stations? Or are there places with on outside contact at all?

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Two moose locked horns and drowned before the lake froze...


I wonder if the meat is still good.

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THINGS THAT GO BOOM





Did you do that with your hands? I did.

Then there's this guy showing off for his kids...

Hahahabananahaha!


Picky, picky, picky.

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Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says "Oh, you want to see crazy?" Reassure her that you do not.

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LANGUAGE HUMOR
In the near future...


Of course, so much washing leaves your hair fucked up forcing you to buy very expensive rinses and conditioners to bring it back to normal. But I don't need to tell you that is stupid because you know it already and do it anyway. Pity that.



Me and my love of the absurd...

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I just wanted to watch a movie naked and have sex with my dulcet wife, but all those people yelling and throwing popcorn really ruined it for me.

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BLASTS FROM THE PAST

I was so disappointed when I learned that was just a movie prop.

Yes, people are still finding treasures like these in old barns...



I wish I lived near something like that. Preferably in my back yard so I could look at it several times a day.


Here's the link if you would like to read more:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Council_of_Nicaea

'Roman Lives Matter' protest


The cockpit of the Spirit of St. Louis, the first aircraft to complete a non-stop transatlantic flight.

Rather austere ain't it.

Firebike...



Well, actually according to the year and make, something very much like that was used to start the car, apply windshield washer, or dim lights. My 1948 GMC pickup had a floor button to start it.



This is one of my wife's dearest friends.

He was honored by a statue depicting him leaving the Hanoi Hilton during the Vietnam War.

Another good friend of ours helped him make his way.

His name is Jack Van Loan and he is still very good friends with his fellow prisoner, John McCain. Mrs. Van Loan gets irked when he says things like "Back when I was in prison..."; her insisting he say "Prisoner of war camp." He just shrugs and says, "Felt like prison to me."

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Back by popular demand...

Women Who Look Like Sluts But Probably Aren't!




A viewer asked why I discontinued "Women Who..." and my curt reply was "Wife objected." But since she's still locked in her bedroom over the election results, I'm going to sneak this one in.

What I dream a threesome would be like...


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What if saliva was just your taste buds jerking off to attractive food?

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1 comment:

Fardygardy said...

SO, YOU TELL ANYONE WHO MIGHT DISAGREE WITH YOUR HUMOR AND BLOG CHOICES TO "FUCK YOU", BUT WHEN YOUR WIFE ASKS YOU TO CURTAIL THE "GIRLS WHO LOOK LIKE..." SEGMENT, YOU DO IT? YOUR A PUSSY.

PS> I HAVE MISSED THAT SEGMENT. ASK HER IF IT'S OK TO DO IT AT LEAST ONCE EVERY COUPLE WEEKS FOR US, OK?

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