About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017


One Of My Very Own...

EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

One of my favorite songs.

With my latest victories I am now in a money position in my college bowl pool. I have Alabama in the final...pray for me.


I had a question for my new friend in The Ukraine: Knowing that there is a large percentage of the population that speak Russian, I wanted to know if the two groups got along prior to Russia's involvement.
He responded that there was no abuse to or from one group to the other. All public events included both languages (sort of like Canada) and nobody really gave a shit what language you spoke.

Every time I have a salad my stomach feels the same way a dog does when someone fakes throwing a tennis ball.

Door knocker shaped like giant testes

I want one.
This looks like a hole lot of fun.

But we had a huge discussion at my bar and could not reach a consensus as to whether a dick went in or out of the hole. Or whether that is the front or the back of the garment.
I wonder if the grommet expands.
Speaking of putting things in holes, this pottery...

Speaking of things made of clay...

How nice.

Perfectly depicts various emotions, doesn't it.


At my age my body is like the show Survivor, but it's my body parts voting off the least needed body part. My back was first to go, then hearing, and now my dick. God knows what's next.

If you want something, you gotta work for it...

I feel a need to repeat this:
You can't have it both ways. You can't constantly complain about how inept the US intelligence community is for years after the WMD fiasco in Iraq, but then when you need them to condemn Trump you believe everything they say without question. Every organization has its own agenda.

I used to leave pennies in the bark of trees around just about every camp site I have ever visited. I do it for the children...like a mini adventure.

Accidentally changed neighbor to neighbour and now I'm saying stuff like "bloody hell" and "Feck the Irish."


Photo of scary man turns out to be something else when rotated.

Some schools are banning Santa so they don't offend non-Christian students. That sucks, because Santa is my favorite part of the Bible.


Deep-Sea Ghost Shark filmed alive for first time

Also called chimaeras, ghost sharks are dead-eyed, wing-finned fish rarely seen by people. Unlike more well-known sharks, chimaeras don’t have rows of ragged teeth, but instead munch up their prey—mollusks, worms, and other bottom-dwellers—with mineralized tooth plates.
And perhaps most fascinating, male chimaeras sport retractable sex organs on their foreheads.
Note: I find the use of the word "sport" in the last sentence refreshing.
Hold my beer...

I would either knock my teeth out or fracture the back of my skull.
850 year old spa, Misasa, Japan.

I don't know exactly why, but those metal handrails seem distracting.
Honk, honk...


I've worked off power lifts like that a couple of times. What most people don't realize is that if you push on the wall even a little bit, the stage swings out from the building. Further, I've seen people safety harness themselves to the stage, where my crew and I each had a 3/4" rope hanging from the roof they we tethered onto; otherwise, we calculated, if the stage fell we would be dragged down with it.
The Slowest Rube Goldberg (The Rube Slowberg)

My wife said it's adorable how I write “beer” on the shopping list like she'd somehow forget.

I have stated before that I will post any and every one of these I come across.

I consider it a personal victory every time that I don't ask a person wearing a leg cast if they've broken their leg.


This is why the terrorists will never win. There's nothing you can do to us that we aren't already doing to ourselves.

But then there is this...

The research revealed that they didn't know what it was used for, even though it's exact function was a part of the product name - Downy Fabric Softener.
I find stuff like that hilarious.
After Anthony van der Meer's phone was stolen, he installed spyware on a new phone and intentionally allowed someone to steal it. He then remotely recorded audio, photos, and videos from the phone and made a 20 minute film about the guy who stole it.

I worry that some innocent people could have been embarrassed by this.
Bureau of Justice Statistics release new, accurate police killing numbers that are double the historic estimates.

The reason for the shakiness of the statistics is that local police forces are not required to produce reliable statistics on the people killed by their officers, and so many produce no statistics and those that do often release meaningless, highly massaged numbers. The BLS overcame these statistical deficits by systematically mining news reports of police killings.
ISIS militants have regained control of the historic city of Palmyra

And this children are called...

The jihadists have a history of using children as weapons, however, sending them to their death strapped with explosives and putting them on frontlines in Iraq and Syria. A report released earlier this year by Combating Terrorism Centre at West Point university in the US revealed 89 children died fighting for the Islamic State last year and that the use of child suicide bombers were suspected to increase.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mr. Lionel Messi.

I'm also very fond of this guy...

I watched a child in the grocery store cry and cry until her mom bought her a candy bar. As I walked past, I whispered, "Your technique is flawless."

More from that black humor cartoonist

It's all relative...

Sorry to burst your bubble, but your waiter doesn't really think your choice was excellent.


No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin to use while eating my Buffalo Wings.

On an episode of Black Mirror on Netflix a British princess (thinly veiled Diana) was kidnapped and taped reading the demands of her captors. The only demand was that the British Prime Minister appear on live TV and...

He finally agrees to it and these are his last words of advice from his handlers...

It took him over an hour.


In space, no one can hear you scream.
In cyberspace, no one can shut you up.


That or this. Take your pick.

Please think about this. Do your own research that doesn't happen in bible class. Most people who write real history books don't have an agenda, but your pastor and his minions surely do.

I know that other cultures have flood myths because a tsunami would be a culture changing event. The breaching of a land bridge would wipe out whole civilizations. But they didn't cover Mount Everest...and you know it.


Karl Keynes Roosevelt said...

Re: Mallard Filmore comic.

You should also note that "free stuff" also pays tax payers. It's called the "Velocity of Money" and that, along with raw extraction (including the under paying of wages), is the only way wealth is created. Wealth is created by one person's perceived need for something being greater than another's - hence the increase in vale for that something. The amount of that exchange is the velocity of money. Extraction occurs by taking, whether it is for laying on the ground (no easy on a full planet) or taking from someone else, primarily by underpaying workers for the goods they produce.

The fundamental flaw of free market capitalism in the macro sense is that wealth concetrates with the wealthy while the population grows - generating inevitable poverty. The micro assignment of who is poorer than who may have some moral or motivational basis, but the total poverty is immune to such judgements. It is built into the system.

The only way to avoid the consequences of this is by increasing the money supply and inducing the exchange of money - out of the heads of the hoarders and into that of the spenders. There are many ways a functioning government may do this and "free stuff" is but one. Money supply management is not an exact science by any means (e.g Weirmar or Zimbabweian hyper inflation) but it is necessary. Redistribution through public works or outright grants is similarly perilous, but absolutely necessary.

The Republicans in general represent the wealthy (and would be wealthy) money hoarders and the Democrats in general represent the less wealthy, labor value extracted others. In the past both sides understood that for the economy to work, for the whole to thrive, a constant adjustment of government actions was required to keep the "Velocity of Money" high. That understanding has been lost in a damn them all scrum for power. The cartoon you posted is just a bit of one side's propaganda in that scrum.

Karl Keynes Roosevelt said...

Sorry for all of the misspellings, but you are a past master :)

Robin said...

Whilst translating a French poem, I came across the word 'analcoolique', I found this was not a French word, and it basically means butt chugging. According to the web site I found this out, it is incredibly dangerous, as the alcohol bypasses the liver etc to get into your body. Definitely not on my to do list.

Ralph Henry said...

Analcoolique is now my new favorite word. I just wish I could hear a french woman say it.

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