About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, February 24, 2017

FRIDAY #2987

One Of My Very Own...

EMAIL:

Johnny Cash sings about prison at Folsom Prison.
You might want to watch the first couple of 
minutes.


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You should have all heard about that by now, but here's some things you may not know.







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I once found myself wondering which wine pairs best with Oreo cheesecake.


THINGS I DIDN'T KNOW YESTERDAY

Warning: I have not researched all of these, but I do know this first one is true.


I'm not sure about that one.
Zulu time is how every mission in the military is on the same clock. It is just Greenwich Mean Time but with a military spin on it.
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"Kianga the Incredible Polycephalic(two-Headed) Sulcata Tortoise. Kianga’s only malformation is situated in her spinal cord, just after the neck. The spinal cord has a ‘Y’-junction, allowing her to have two heads each with a perfectly formed brain and cervical spinal cord, two tracheas leading to one set of lungs, two esophagi leading to one normal sized stomach and one beating heart."
Question: Do they take turns driving? I mean internally does one brain ask to move the legs where it wants to go?
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"Yesterday evening ISIS' Sinai branch decided to fire 6 rockets at my home town, Eilat, Israel."
"4 rockets entered Israel. 3 were shot down over town by this bad boy. 1 fell outside of town and 2 fell short somewhere in Egypt's territory. We went to our safe room, heard the booms, when the rockets were intercepted, accompanied by a little shaking and after a couple of minutes we went to sleep again. I love you Iron Dome."
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I seem hearing about that before.
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Talk about embarrassment. My dentist asked the nurse for suction, but I thought he was talking to me, so a sucked his finger.


ADVICE YOU CAN TAKE OR LEAVE BUT AT LEAST THINK ABOUT IT

Write that one down. Now let me tell you how to de-escalate any situation.
1. I did it.
2. I'm sorry I did it.
3. I won't do it again.
If you think carefully about it, you will see you have just taken just about every arrow from your foe's quiver.
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Some time ago I read that upwards of 80% of the gifts given are either: Not wanted; The wrong size, color, etc; and/or otherwise disappointing. Americans are big on gift giving even though statistically it's a worthless exercise.
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Well, maybe. I agree you should let the past go. There is nothing credible beneficial in ruing the past. But it seems to me that planning for the future is worthwhile.
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My advice to you is to reject just about everything your mother and grandmother ever taught you. They were all bamboozled by a new fangled gimmick in their time....advertising.

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During sex with the wife I found myself thinking about which side of the car my gas tank is on. The fire is finally out.


AMUSING LANGUAGE

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You know what they say about huge paws...
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There's always that one guy.
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Four hours without a phone is an eternity in phone years.


HUMANS ARE THE MOST INTERESTING PEOPLE ON THE PLANET 

Gold diggers marching through Chilkoot pass, the only way towards Dawson City, 1898
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North Korean Generals get a medal for each close relative they rat out for talking shit about the great leader.
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Instant regret.
And yet she posted it to Youtube.
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He has got a football career ahead of him to think about.
He didn't even throw a punch and still won the fight.
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Lefty loosey, righty tighty.
(that's hilarious)
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18-year-old girl chews her lower lip off after taking ecstasy.
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Found his "Solemate"...
Now take a closer look at the problems you think you have.
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From a movie I watched...
I have a post coming up with a very special stone with a hole in it. Stay tuned.
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I am not a fan of video games where I don't get to kill prostitutes.


And he manages to imbue them with a bit of emotion.

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My math teacher called me average.
How mean.


THINGS THAT IMPRESSED ME

British soldier checking out the Argentinean helmets after the Battle of Goose Green on the Falkland Islands, May 1982
That had to be the most stupid war in my lifetime.
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Run, Forest, run!
Tree - 1; Car - 0
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What a wonderful picture. I have a good friend who is a huge fan of The Boss.
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It's called juxtaposition and it's wonderful.

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Is Lickalotapuss another name for a lesbian dinosaur?

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But in my opinion, the greatest threat to our education system would be to give conservative Christians control.



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