About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, February 16, 2017


One Of My Very Own...


Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes


Remember this?

Well, now it has morphed to this...

Liberals have turned into real drama queens...


I asked my wife about Mister Steal Yo Girl and she told me he was one of the most beautiful people she had ever seen.

Apparently, she is not alone in this assessment...

Australia is currently melting under a record heat wave that engulfs damn near the whole continent.

So here water is flowing over the Emergency Spillway. It eroded quickly and was the reason for the evacuation order was given.
Everyone better hope the Main Spillway holds together.
Its very possible the hole will move up the spillway. But it seems to be stable for now. If the hole starts moving upward and reaches the gates, its GAME OVER.
Now they know this, so if it does start to move they will stop the flow of water and attempt to quickly repair it. But the lake will start to fill again and they will not have much time before they must open it again because the Emergency Spillway clearly will not hold up. If the hole does not move upstream, everything will be fine. But its a few more months before the rains stop. Lets hope for the best.


Someday, when I'm really old, I hope I can sit with my grandson in front of the fireplace and text them pearls of wisdom.


That had to have been done on purpose.



I found that very funny.


"I have trouble sweeping."

This is probably a controversial take but I think the sanitation worker responsible for garbage collection on Sesame Street should be fired.


If you pull up Google Maps and look at the forested areas of Western United States, you’ll notice strange checkerboard patterns, like the one below.
These patterns are the result of an agreement made in the mid-1800s, where the US government granted public domain lands to a company called the Oregon and California Railroad to build a rail link between Portland and California. Like most railroad grant lands of the time, the land surrounding the area where train tracks were to be laid, was split into a checkerboard pattern.
The railway company received every other square, while the plots in between were retained by the federal government. The idea was, that the railroad would greatly increase the value of the lands over time, and the government lands that were intermixed with the railway lands could benefit from the increased value.
RH: If I am not mistaken each square is one mile by one mile.

This is just one photograph. Nice, not so much the alignment, but the textures.

Demonstrating the cantilever bridge system, 1887

You've seen this...

Now there's this...

I was approached by the owner of a gym to come in every day and just walk around naked...as a motivator to the others. The "Don't Be Like That Guy" guy.


Afghans stoning a homosexual?

First day at the gym I found out people get so weirded out when I step on the scale behind them, naked.


Realizing, of course, they would have to move over every couple of minutes.

NASA twins show that space flight changes human genes.
“RNA (transcriptome) sequencing showed more than 200,000 RNA molecules that were expressed differently between the twins.” 

Man rushes to open gate for firefighters during intense forest fires in Chile... 
On national TV.

You know her church testimony the next Sunday will be lit.

Why does that not surprise me?


Just another reason I don't take public transportation.

The very brief popularity of this telephone greeting stemmed from the fact the “ahoy-hoy” was Alexander Graham Bell’s preferred way to answer the phone. Ahoy-hoy derives from the term “ahoy”, which is generally associated with being a nautical term used for hailing ships. However, there is also significant evidence that it was popularly used as a way to more or less say “hello” in non-nautical situations. Further, “hoy” was commonly used as far back as the 14th century as a call to use while driving cattle.
[verification needed]

Kim Jong-un's left ear

Sometimes, I think I have had enough personal embarrassment for one lifetime, but then, I'm all like, "No."
[rises from chair]


Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce a problem solver, Level: Expert.

I got all excited when I found one of these.
Only to discover it was worth about 40 cents.

And these animals are allowed to walk around schools and such...
Udder Chaos


Australia has drive thru liquor stores
I went through a drive-thru window at a bar in Georgia. You could get an open drink...TO GO!

According to the 2nd law of thermodynamics, when parents relax, children must increase the amount of disorder in the universe to compensate.


This is so very true.

Mother Earth?

150 days til Canada's 150th Birthday

My life quest is to be the laziest man to ever reach the age of 75 years old.
Note: People as lazy as I, usually don't live to ripe old age for various reasons. We don't bother to put on seatbelts, wear safety equipment, look both ways, run anywhere, including out of danger. It's not easy, but somebody has to be THE laziest person in the world and I am closing in on the crown. I have gone days without eating because I didn't feel like cooking. I have watched a Duck Dynasty marathon because the remote was out of reach. I once broke a shoe lace and wore it that way for two full years before my wife fixed it out of disgust. I have run out of gas 17 times in one year because I was too lazy to pump my own and, hell, I have AAA road service. Last year I paid $784 in late fees to the library even though they have a drop box. I taught my dog to throw his own goddamn ball. I don't even jump to conclusion or for joy. A month with 31 days exhausts me.
If there is a vote this year for the Laziest Man Alive, I expect your full support, but of course I surely won't make it to the polling place.


This is oh, so true. Most of us do not have knee-jerk reactions to every fucking thing that happens to them. I think that's healthy.

Lepa Svetozara Radić (1925–1943) was a Serbian girl who was executed after torture at the age of 17 for shooting at occupying German soldiers during WW2.
As her captors tied the noose around her neck, they offered her a way out of the gallows by revealing her comrades and leaders identities. She responded that she was not a traitor to her people and they would reveal themselves when they avenged her death. She was the youngest to receive the Order of the People’s Hero of Yugoslavia, awarded in 1951 .

My question is, do you think the youth in America today would even consider doing anything like that if the need arose?

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