About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

WEDNESDAY #2978

One Of My Very Own...

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With all the serious shit going on in the world, can we all move on from handshaking technique...please.

But not before I make one last joke...
It looks like he knows Trump just masturbated with that hand.
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The same people calling everyone 'Snowflake' have been deeply offended by a Broadway show, a coffee shop, a Star Wars movie, a beer ad and SNL skits.
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Dear Democrats,
Please learn the deference between: Immigrants and Illegal Immigrants. Nobody in North America has anything against immigrants...except maybe the Native American. And I sick and tired of expressing my distain for open borders and the knee jerk reaction from liberals is "We are all immigrants!" Yeah, tell that to the thousands turned away on Ellis Island because they were or looked sick. We have a system. To gain entry otherwise is a crime. Sorry.


Let's play What Happens Next:
A: Someone falls out of the ceiling.
B: An ostrich walks in.
C: She gets a piece of furniture up her ass.
D: Her dress falls off.


SCIENCE AND/OR THE NATURAL WORLD

Ussuri Bay, near Vladivostok, in Russia was once a Soviet-era dumping ground for old glass bottles and porcelain, but thanks to the motion of the ocean the bay now boasts a beautiful glass beach.


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 In the ensuing investigation, the police secured a warrant for the logs from the home owner's pacemaker, specifically, "His heart rate, pacer demand and cardiac rhythms before, during and after the fire." The data from the pacemaker didn’t correspond with home owner’s version of what happened. The retrieved data help to indict Compton.
On a related topic, a woman's charge of rape was disproved by analyzing her Fitbit data.
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I think more about this than the average citizen. It is, in a word, insane.

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In a remote sheltered harbor guarded by two precipitous headlands, in the North of Scotland, dozens of oil rigs are sitting idle, some for more than a decade, quietly waiting for offshore oil drilling to become profitable again.

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NASA’s Cassini spacecraft has entered its “ring-grazing” phase as it approaches the planet’s icy orbiters. As part of its mission, the craft has transmitted images of the rings at twice the resolution that humans have even been able to achieve previously. 

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If you are not awed by that, please get off my blog. I no long wish to entertain you.

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My wife's decorating style is calculated placement of sentimental things around the house, so after she die, I can't get laid.


SORT OF POLITICAL THINGS TO THINK ABOUT

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It won't surprise you to learn American policing has a racism problem. It may surprise you to know that the FBI has been quietly, systematically investigating the white supremacist infiltration of law enforcement.

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Give a toddler a crayon and he will eat that crayon. Teach him how to color and he will eat more crayons.


SOME JUST PLAIN WEIRD SHIT

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 Does anyone but me recognize what that is?
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 Can you imagine if all disputes in the UN were settled this way?
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Samurai committing seppuku (hara-kiri) in Japan 1880.
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When you copy someone else's tattoo.
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 To all you people who have not seen Two Girls, One Cup, please don't look at it, he stated forcefully.
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If Chile was an empire.
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And now, Gentle Reader, one of the weirdest things I have ever seen. First the headline to the article:

18 miles of translucent wire stretches around the skyline, and most people have likely never noticed. It's called an eruv (plural eruvin), and its existence is thanks to the Jewish Sabbath.
 On the Sabbath, which is viewed as a day of rest, observant Jewish people aren't allowed to carry anything—books, groceries, even children—in public places (doing so is considered "work"). The eruv encircles much of Manhattan, acting as a symbolic boundary that turns the very public streets of the city into a private space, much like one's own home. This allows people to freely communicate and socialize on the Sabbath—and carry whatever they please—without having to worry about breaking Jewish law.
 Note: And this is not in some village in Afghanistan. This is in New York City. Please give yourself the time to see just how ludicrous this is. It is beyond comical. It's absurd.
Hahahabananahaha!

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I hate it when you're about to sacrifice a baby, and you notice one of the other satanists is wearing the same robes.


 
HEADLINES THAT GAVE ME PAUSE

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And the answer is....
C: She gets a piece of furniture up her ass.

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[panting, 5 minutes into sex] It's okay, just go on without me.

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1 comment:

Chuck said...

The hood scoop is a paint roller tray.

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