About Me

My photo
I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

WEDNESDAY #2964

One Of My Very Own...

EMAIL:
ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com



<>
To the girl crying on the bus:
Stop. If it was okay to cry on the bus we'd all be doing it.


ADVICE AND SUCH

A group of bootblacks gather around an old Civil War veteran for a wartime story in Pennsylvania, (1935)
Everybody gives and gets advice from time to time. My rule of thumb in giving advice is to put myself in any given situation and just state what I would honestly do. That seems to work.
---
I hate to say it, but this woman reminds me of my wife.
I am going to regret writing that.


---
Choices made in anger cannot be undone.
---
There are many feel good proposals being made about gun violence. Even knowing that any kind of gun you want can be purchased on the street of any major city in America, liberals claim that making legit gun purchases harder will work. No, that will just make them feel good...kind of like "Well, at least I tried."
---
It is strange to me that Americans shun health care. I agree that the federal government has screwed up the present attempt just as badly as it could possibly be screwed up, but that's not the point. What I mean is that a person stands up in front of us and says, "Every American needs health care" and we collectively reply, "NO!"
Confusing, that.
---
I've stated before that colleges aren't and should not be just a stepping stone to a job. There are many worthwhile human endeavors, and many are not straight roads to the all mighty paycheck.
Getting into massive debt for that knowledge is a whole nother horse of a different color.
---
Y'all remember that guy?
---
So let me get this straight, I must tolerate everyone's beliefs or I'm the bad guy?
---
When a giant corporation buys and sells congress this is what happens.
In 2015 the World Health Organization released an updated list of probable carcinogens to humans and Monsanto’s widely used "Roundup Ready" was on it. Roundup, a glyphosate herbicide used on cash crops, is extremely regulated in Europe and pretty much ignored in the United States, but after the WHO’s report in 2016, an FDA approved independent laboratory did a study on glyphosate levels in the American food and water supply. Findings indicated levels of glyphosate consumption greater than what’s considered safe for anyone, in mainstream foods. 
And we - you and I - do absolutely nothing.

<>
My wife asked me to talk dirty to her. I said, "Chlamydia."


LANGUAGE USED EFFECTIVELY

I have never heard that discussed before. I had about three or four of the worst headaches I have ever had during climax before I went to the doctor. He asked me if I had a sense of humor and after assuring him that I did he said, "We doctors call that a fucking headache." It's caused by pressure in your sinuses.  
---
Medical marijuana workers have to be drug tested.
---
---
Some of these are very good.
---
---
 One of those 'Roast Me' internet things...
---
 My admiration for these creatures grows by every fact I learn about them...

<>
It's easy to play hard to get when you
 are hard to want.


 PEOPLE DOING EXTRAORDINARY THINGS

Do. Not. Piss. Child. Off.
And bare knuckled! 
---
I'm not sure I agree with permanently etching it into his flesh, but I found this very amusing.
---
Did you ever learn something you didn't want to know?
---
"I  sexually identify as an attack helicopter."
Mi-28 Havoc helicopter.
Can you imagine looking up and a bunch of those pop up over the tree line and they are all very, very angry with you.
---
This guy escapes with minor injuries after car is squashed between two semis in 26-car collision...
Define "minor."
---
Finely found a gif of an Inverted Aquariums that would load.
---
Late one night at the first bar I owned, an old man was my only customer, but he was interesting as hell so I let him stay to beyond closing. He was a professional gambler, living in a motel with two adjoining rooms right next to the bar - one for him and one for the poker games. 
When I finally told him he had to pay up and go, he said, "I normally don't pay my bar tab." I asked why and he said that he would bet me his bar tab that he could put both is ankles behind his neck, jump off the barstool on his hands and walk to the bathroom swinging his ass between is arms. I but smiled and knew...KNEW not to take the bet. So I said I will buy your next beer if you just put your ankles behind you head, and, of course, he did it instantly. He showed me his driver's license and he was 74 years old.
Gambler, indeed.

<>
The wounds of dishonor are self inflicted.


 ART

Kinetic sculpture of Bob Potts


How very, very nice. Here's the guy who makes them.
Him, me, a few beer...I'll buy.
---
This guy works with light.




<>
Guys find it cute when girls get embarrassed over little things, forgetting we stare at their buttholes while we fuck.


ITEMS OF INTEREST

Paperfuge Is Changing Third-World Medicine.
I absolutely love solutions like that. 
---
 ---
 What are the chances?
 ---
 My father used to wash plastic spoons and forks and use them over and over. Go figure.
---
 ---
This looks like a whole lot of work.

 <>
Failsafe pickup line:
She: Sorry. I have a boyfriend.
He: That's cool, but I thought you might need a husband. Here's my number.


The anatomy of America’s vast infrastructure

The electric grid
There are more than 3,300 power utilities and about 7,700 power plants that produce and distribute electricity to homes, businesses and other consumers. That electricity travels through more than 160,000 miles of high-voltage electric transmission lines that reach into every nook and cranny of the country.
---
Pipelines 
There are about 150,000 miles of oil pipelines and more than 1.5 million miles of natural gas pipelines in the United States. Since 2010, fracking booms in western Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Oklahoma and west Texas have led to an increased production of natural gas, along with the need to expand pipeline infrastructure. 
---
Airports
Our airways are the busiest in the world. In a three-day span in early November, Flightradar24, which tracks live air traffic, showed more than 160,000 flights arriving or departing U.S. airports. The most heavily-traveled routes are between Chicago and New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco, and Los Angeles and Chicago.

<>
A STILL FUNNY REPOST
Coming home pretending to be sober...

<>
Did you know if you email your boss "suck my dick" you don't have to go to work anymore.

<>

I read that the US is now dropping bombs or otherwise killing people in 64 countries. 
Or you just drop bombs and don't tell anyone. Or better yet send in the drones that way we have no KIAs.


1 comment:

Ninja Grrrl said...

You should regret writing that. Do you really think it's all just people who think they've been traumatized by a word written in chalk and special-snowflake-itis? There are examples of foolishness and extremism on every side, and there's nothing wrong with calling out fools. But I don't see your wife as that kind of fool, and I'm not either. If we have any hope it has to be in listening to each other, and that doesn't need to include mentioning "well some people don't listen to me either so nyah nyah". Be the change you want to see and all that jazz.

Random Post

Random Posts Widget

Blog Archive