About Me

My photo
I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, April 17, 2017

MONDAY #3039

One Of My Very Own...


Big Mama Thornton & Mississippi Fred McDowell
My Heavy Load


You think a couple of scientists die every time North Korea has a failed launch? If so they should be running out of scientists. 

===
(Waterford Whispers. Basically an Irish version of the Onion.)

===
Well, I'm doing my part.


===


<>
I misspelled the word "camouflage" so badly that I made 6 different letter combination changes before autocorrect would even try to help me.


FUN FACTS OR OPINIONS

0.99999999... is equal to 1.000000

===

===
Yes, this person is spitting in your food...
With a camera directly in her face.
For what it's worth, I have had plenty of food service employees tell me that they do that to rude customers....honest.

===
You teach your children what to expect in marriage. How you doing with that?

===

===

===

===
Am I the only one who has never done this?

<>
*gets drunk*
*can't remember if I fed the dog*
*ends up feeding her 5 times*
[that night]
*comes home*
dog *hands me a beer*


THINGS THAT IMPRESS ME

Earthporn at its finest...

===
You can now print out a letter of your voice track reading said letter.

===
Bricks are usually molded from clay, but in Karaba, a small African village in southwestern Burkina Faso, bricks are quarried out of the hillside. This hill is made of laterite, a reddish-colored rock rich in iron and aluminum. Historically, laterite was cut into brick-shaped blocks and used in building. In Angkor Wat in Cambodia, and other southeast Asian sites, you can find many construction made of laterite.

===
"At his most productive, Twain practically chain-smoked cigars, and his craving for a quick burn was conspicuous at 250-acre Quarry Farm, a nest of solitude away from the social hurly-burly of Hartford. Mindful of her health, perhaps, sister-in-law Susan Crane had a windowed study built specially for Twain in 1874 not far from her Victorian farmhouse. Equipped with a writing table, wicker chair, cot, and fireplace, it was designed to resemble the pilot house of a Mississippi steamboat."
"After a steak breakfast, Twain would saunter 300 feet across a lawn flecked with buttercups and black-eyed susans and climb the stone steps to a promontory where the octagonal cabin was perched. Amid the chirp and crackle of nature, overlooking a panorama he called a "foretaste of heaven," Twain often churned out as many as 2,600 words a day."

When I was still writing, I liked to do the writing in the same setting as the book. For instance, if the main character was in the woods, I would go to the woods. That's why most of my books are set in bars and brothels.

===
I almost put this in the art section...
That's how extraordinary I think that is.

===
Let's hear it for the human brain.

===

===
DIY Home cremation is sweeping the UK and will be coming to the US this summer.
Could that be true?

===
I have mentioned several times the importance of "personal" solar energy production. Here is what I meant: Smartflower Solar
Protects itself from high wind, hail, sleet, etc. I'm not real sure about having all those moving parts to break down, but imagine you kids want to play baseball in the backyard and you have an option of "stowing" the panels.

<>
Marriage tip: If your wife says “I didn’t do it” what she means is “You did it”. Accept it and don’t worry that you don't remember doing it.


WHICH IS FUNNIER:
THE PICTURE OR THE CAPTION

Speaking of...

===
No, that is not the definition of "backfire."

===
Photo of UK leaving the EU...

===
Making the case that there is enough porn...

===

===
When you are sitting down at the theater and someone needs to walk by...

===
This how my wife prepares for a tornado warning...

===

===
Do you think you could trust these faces?

===

===
===
That's one of the damnest things I've ever read.

<>
Me: Trump keeps obfuscating the truth.
Bartender: I see you learned a new word.
Me: I obfuscately did. 
Bartender:
Me: Would you obfuscate me another beer?


ARTY ENTRIES


===

===
Victorian mourning ring incorporating a glass eye from the deceased. 

===

===
Urban Lights on Wilshire
Wow!

===
Burning Man

<>
Guy science: The proper amount of time for a pan to soak before cleaning it is until you need to use it again.


ZOMBIES....YES, ZOMBIES

For whatever reason I have happened upon a whole bunch of zombie shit.

Some folks may have forgotten how we met this guy.

Then there's this guy who back then looked about 19 years old...

Word spread that a whole bunch of people would stop watching if they killed off Daryl.

Somehow they managed to make him a whole person to us fans.

Just to remind you, the wife and I visited the small town in Georgia where they film most of it.

Here's another zombie movie that I really liked.
But deep down I prefer my zombies to be slow.

I wonder how many people missed the fact that the above is not about zombies.

Finally...

<>
Imagine my embarrassment at getting caught in the rain without a piña colada.

<>

I don't often give advice for young daters, but please stop doing this.
I have watched young couples sit at my pizza place and not speak six words to each other, there attention on their device. I don't think that's healthy. I mean, how is she supposed to know how big your penis is unless you pull it out and show her?


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

In regard to devices while dating, I'm gonna go with a dick pic with a slice of pizza as a reference scale.
DG

Random Post

Random Posts Widget

Blog Archive