About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

WEDNESDAY #3027

One Of My Very Own...





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This thing has proven to have strong legs...

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Congratulations, you just became an international meme, bitch, forever known as an overreacting cunt.

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Would somebody please take the time to explain that to me. 
Seriously, what would be the net result of such a move?

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From my friend in The Ukraine:

Dear Ralph, 
I'm not getting tired praising your attention to Ukrainian events.You have an interesting viewpoint, comparing to information that I see on mass media.
Last week when you posted about a diversion on ammo warehouse in Ukraine. Another weird story happened that week. The same very day a Russian parliament deputy was murdered in the center of Kyiv. He escaped from Russia to Ukraine and got Ukrainian citizenship. He criticized Putin was supposed to witness in international court about Russian aggression in Ukraine (all members of Russian parliament except one voted to send troops to Ukraine). 
This is the video of the murder:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vkXyMa1bdg&list=RDxq5UkgflkMU&index=4

The killer was shot by the Voronenkov's body guard provided by Ukrainian government.

On the next video (it has since been removed), shot shortly after the murder, you can see a strange operator in a hoody with a very good camera showing up on the place of murder right after the murder even before ambulance came (see minute 3:10). He films the scene and the victims and them some other bald guy comes for him and they leave together. 


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If you ever leave two extension cords hooked up outdoors then find them almost impossible to separate, always unplug it before you use a flat head screw driver to pry them apart. I know that now.


SOCIAL CONCERNS

I anticipate the nooges will seep out of the woodwork.


Those comments were credited to this guy...


Hell, Tom, I don't know, but that's what I was told.
Anyway, he and I think a whole lot alike.


Anonymous wrote:
There has always been infinite genders. We are just fighting over what words mean at this point.

What an...extraordinary declaration.

I think the universal pronoun for any and all genders should be "dude."

But in all honestly, folks, it's not just me. 
Listen dudes, you got a whole lot of bigger battles than fucking pronouns. The 86 (or so) pronouns ain't going to happen...ever. Go get married like I help get passed, live a full life, but let's stop trying to take command of the language. Please.

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One of my favorite quips was: My wife sees me naked twice a day. How do you adequately make up for something like that? 

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Maybe not. With county, city, state and federal, I'm taxed at about 50% of my income. I just think that about my limit.

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Actually saw an interview about that, since legislators in several states are on the verge of introducing laws concerning that very thing .
In the mean time, these bumper stickers are being ripped off cars.

I just wish all you believers would read Genesis just like it was a modern novel. You would soon discover the poor quality of the prose and plot holes big enough to drive a camel through.

This is the main selling point.

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That's a weird way of saying 75% of homeless people are men.

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I have a thing about how objects get their names and how lazy some of the namers were. That this question: Where do I stick this candle? Oh, just but it in the candlestick I just invented.


THINGS THAT IMPRESS EVEN ME

Using various small-scale writing techniques to visualize the transition from the nano scale to the visible world using a penny.

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How about the blades being made of solar panels?

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Coasters made from cars in drunk driving accidents.

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Too far for guns, switching to missiles.

And...

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Messi's dog .... Big boy
My favorite player in the whole world.
But there is talk of retirement. Will keep you informed.

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I get the joke, but I just wanted to remind you that I really want a goose for Christmas dinner.

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Dear chip and dip companies, Please make your dip containers shaped like a bowl and not a cup.


MOTION PICTURES

My wife getting out of bed in the morning while I'm still asleep.

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Every married man when a friend asked him to have one more beer before leaving...

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G.O.R.A. - A 2+ hour Turkish sci-fi film where half the cast portrayed homosexuals...even the androids.

Three naked men under a bearskin blanket.
I found that odd material for Turkey.

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I found each of this guy's videos very funny.
If real life commercials were made with real people.

https://video.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search;_ylt=A0LEV7m60c9Yml4A2cYPxQt.;_ylu=X3oDMTByMjB0aG5zBGNvbG8DYmYxBHBvcwMxBHZ0aWQDBHNlYwNzYw--?p=If+Real+Life+Commercials+Were+Real+People&fr=yhs-Lkry-SF01&hspart=Lkry&hsimp=yhs-SF01

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Doing things "solo" sounds way cooler than "alone."


FAMOUS HEADLINES






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When playing limbo, setting the bar higher is setting the bar lower.


ARTY ITEMS

This is a public art project in, I believe, Colorado

I had to line up a landscape like that once.
Don't criticize the boat. That was the only picture of it and the funding source insisted I use it.
Anyway, I stood in the viewing area and directed my partner as to the heights of the real trees across the river.

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Clever boy.

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People who take a group picture while having fun literally choose to stop having fun to do something inconvenient.


HOW BAD CAN IT GET, REALLY

What do you think it would do to a man's mind driving around and fearing this was going to happen mile after mile after mile?

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Those zany Chinamen.

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If you are 45 years old and a little over-weight, don't do this. Please.
Just don't.

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That's one lucky sumbitch. And what the fuck did he think was going to happen?

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Oh irony you cruel mistress...

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God I hate the word bae. Anyway, I get the stupid joke, but that ain't his bae.
When a new male takes over a harem, the first thing he does after defeating the old male is to chew his tale completely off. 
He does that to deny him the opportunity to spin his tail and scatter his shit, thus marking his territory.
Hard to tell but that tail is spinning like an aircraft propeller.

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What if boogers smelled bad?

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Ummmm. So maybe I should jump on this pronoun change demand thing. But as of now I need more convincing data.


4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Who is the cunt in the pink hoodie? (I did a web search for cunts in pink hoodies but nothing came up). Thanks!

Anonymous said...

The third and fourth types of genitalia that are coming are really going to fuck up your definitions. I'm going to piss myself laughing at you.

Ninja Grrrl said...

The pronoun thing is the same argument as the N word, and the same simple principle of treating others with respect applies. There are too many trans people saying the same thing over and over for YEARS for me to comfortably ignore. If you want to know more then you should ask more trans people if they think it's important and why or why not. If I went back 50 years and stood up in a group of older white men and asked them to stop using racial slang, tried to explain how damaging it was, they would have been scornful too and probably made fun of me.

Ralph Henry said...

Okay, you told me about the pissing yourself laughing gender, but what's the fourth one?

And if truth be told, I don't give a fuck as long as they are also funny.

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