About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

WEDNESDAY #3048

One Of My Very Own...


Bowie's The Man Who Sold The World On The Korean Gayageum


 The soldier had lost both legs.


That's the best example of non-speak I've heard in a long while.
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Wife - We're invited to a gender reveal party.
Me - I always knew Rupert wanted to be a woman.
Wife - It's for a baby
Me - Rupert is pregnant?



 
LANGUAGE TO AMUSE

The all things Ralph theme...

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Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

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Actually, since I've been forced to watch a lot of foreign films for the simple fact that I've watch just about ever English speaking movie, I've noticed that most movies don't really have that much dialogue.

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I found that very funny.
But this next one is off the charts.
 

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People who say, "I'm head over heels for you, baby." So they're like, standing?


THINGS TO PONDER
(AKA miscellaneous)

 
Lying, bitch.
Seriously, one of the hardest parts of blogging every day is to remember what I have and what I have not already posted.

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Tree on power lines
 And that, boys and girls, is why they spend so much money clearing the right of way.

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Southern Utah. 
I find that the road only adds to the mystique. 

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Amazing this he can do that with an erection.
AUTOFELLATIO! 

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I'll never forget the smell...

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 [Commercial for Ikea]
Have you ever cursed in front of your kids? Want to?


 PEOPLE AND THINGS I ADMIRE

Demolition done right!
With the right planning, he just reduced the debris footprint by half.

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A High Resolution Solar System in a Bottle 3D Printed to Perfect Scale

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What a wonderful way for a mother to deal with a very sensitive issue...

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I taught this child from K-5th grade. She told me she wanted to be a teacher just like me in 1st grade and now is a teacher.
 She's holding a painting I taught her in the third grade.

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 At a glorious 89 years of age,  Alla Ilyinichna Levushkina has now been practicing surgery for over 68 years and has performed over 10,000 operations.

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Question: Do you think these moves are rehearsed?

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According to my wife's therapist, she should try dating a man she's not married to...or so I'm told.


PEOPLE WHO HAVE IT WORSE THAN ME AND YOU

Where the morals are made up and integrity doesn't matter.

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All those poor bastards stuck in North Korea.

All of its burgers, whether made of minced beef, fish or vegetables, come with lashings of kimchi
Minced beef and bread costs $1.70 , roughly the same price as a McDonald’s cheeseburger in the UK but almost half the daily income of an average North Korean. The average wage in North Korea last year was just under $1000
 An eight-lane super highway in North Korea is almost devoid of traffic in this image taken by Swedish photographer Bj√∂rn Bergman. The road – which stretches around 160km from capital Pyongyang to the border with South Korea – is also in a state of disrepair 

In war footing ever farm vehicle becomes an army vehicle.

And in peace time visa versa. This is a school bus.

A Children's Day activity...
That last image is the whole reason I posted that section.

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It is possible to feel better by acknowledging how good you really have it...compared to some.

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Laugh it up now millennials! In 30 years your favorite actors will be talking to you about reverse mortgages.


PEOPLE BEING STUPID

Let's start off with a game of what happens next to a young man who has caught a fish with his bare hands.
A. A snake bites his dick.
B. The fish repeatedly slaps him in the face.
C. A bigger fish tries to swallow his arm.
D. His wife shoots him, but not fatally.

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How very, very stupid.
 Number of times an old white man has brought down an airplane = 0.
Number of times a famous actor has brought down an airplane = 0.
I bet he set off the metal detector and a body cavity search turned up a watch.

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A total lack of situational awareness.
There is a "what could happen" piece of the brain. That young woman doesn't have one.

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Reminds me of the Russian Olympic accommodations.

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Fat Jedi Kid became famous in the early 2000's when his classmates stole video footage of him practicing his badass lightsaber skills. After suing the families of the boys that uploaded the footage he was awarded $250,000, became a lawyer and lost the extra weight. Or so I'm told.
 I so want that to be true.

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Had I been his dad I wouldn't have said a word, knowing I was the adult who let him take the device on the boat.

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A. A snake bites his dick.

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Thank you hotel for offering me the convenience of making coffee in the bathroom.

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This web app guesses what you are sketching and completes the drawing. Kind of fun.

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This is what happens when you tell your little snowflake he is specially for no reason.
I've seen kids like the fat one in the blue shirt all my life. Instead of just going with the flow, he tries to get all the attention and almost fucks it up for everyone. Go watch your kid play with others at school and see if he/she's an asshole.


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