About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Sunday, May 28, 2017

SUNDAY #3080



Leaving on a jet plane




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Why do we hear of celebrities dying but never hear of them being born?


OLD NEWS


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This is a mouthwash ad in an old magazine.
And your mother and grandmother fell for it hook, line and sinker...then they taught you that you were less than human if your breath smelled like a human beings.

There seemed to be nothing that people won't believe if it is advertised enough.

This is not exactly advertising, but it helps make my point.

Yes, these sold well...

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In the mid 1960s, the first reports surfaced of the activities of a sexual assailant who came to be known as the "enema bandit." Disguised by a ski mask, he would enter the rooms of coeds at various college campuses (usually in Oklahoma, but he also showed up in Kansas, Oklahoma, and California). Holding his victims at gunpoint, he would force them to remove their clothes, then he would tie their wrists and proceed to give them each an enema, always working "slowly and deliberately." His victims agreed that "he knew what he was doing." Otherwise, he didn't harm the women, releasing them when he was finished. His victims also described him as being "extremely polite."

And this for all my friends who teach at Illinois.

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As far as anyone knows this is the first time in the history of Hollywood that anyone has been convicted of plagiarism charges.

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At least there's a job opening...

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The Vietnam War is known in Vietnam as the American War.


GOOD IDEAS


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Using water...

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Children need a puppy.

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I didn't think this was possible. I don't remember why, but as I recall there were severe drawbacks.

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Ford GT Track Mode 
I visited a guy who owned one of these. He wanted me to drive it. I refused. A couple of other guys attending accepted and told of hitting a country road straight away at 160 mph.

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Guy bought these goldfish for $0.25 each about six years ago and put them here in his horses' trough to control the mosquito population.

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I was charged $5 for a guy to fill my tires at a gas station. That's inflation for you.


BAD IDEAS

The red guy actively tried to kill the driver once the situation didn't suit him. This would've never happened in Chicago. Guns are strictly controlled there.

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Good idea, or bad idea?
Is according to who you ask - the human or the bear.

Speaking of bears...

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Sawed them off and he was fine.

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Proof positive that they still have alcohol in Australia...
That young woman has nerves of steel.

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Have you ever been so drunk it feels like the floor is moving?

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But, hell, it's a job opening.

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I think we should all take a moment to be grateful our bodies don't shit while we sleep.


SOCIAL MATTERS

Had a young person in my community kill himself. So sad he must have been. But he had only scratched the surface of life's possibilities. I got a deal for you, if you are seriously considering it, let me know and we'll take a roadtrip.

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A movie about 100 year mission to another planet, so only 3rd generation will arrive. But who lead and who serves? Even in that environment they had the ruling bees and the worker bees.

The people who couldn't pass the aptitude test for management positions were given jobs in water purification and waste disposal. Understandably, they didn't appreciate the big picture of spreading the human species across the galaxy.

But, I think, people who simply do not feel in control of their lives must find someone to blame for their emptiness. They don't read, they don't study, they don't work hard, yet in their minds it can't be their fault.

Upper deck where everyone wears suits, ties, heals and jewelry; and the lower deck where they wear whatever they can find that will absorb sweat easily and look just like rednecks.

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I was once chastised for using the word slut. The thought being that if a young woman liked a lot of sex, then why should we call them a rude name. I agree.

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"Study this image. It's at once beautiful and terrifying. A figure silhouetted by a great burst of light. A man lies at it's feet, staring off at nothing at all, a body disconnected from it's senses. He tries to push himself up. A disembodied arm in the air counts the short seconds he has to collect himself, as if he ever could collect himself at all. At the bottom right we see eyes of a man, almost cowering, but too mystified by what just happened to cower completely. Like he saw this monster in it's full instinctive fury. Finally we come to the monster itself. A form shaped to destroy. Wild hair, rippling muscle, a predator with the confidence to turn it's back on it's prey. So dark, so deep, so powerful that even light itself thought better of landing on it's visage. It's like looking the god of some long forgotten voodoo religion. But this was no god, no monster, no demon, just a man."
RH - I did not write that.

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"I'm fixing to fix a dinner with all the fixings." In the American South that sentence makes sense.


A FEW LOOK DOWNS

Ever wonder what wildfires looks like from space?

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That guy is my hero.
I know for a fact that the farther the back axle is from the front wheels, the easier it is to back up, but still, that's impressive.

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The most efficient design always works.
Whether it's a tree, tree roots, lighting, or blood and nerve systems.

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Whenever someone says something like "Guess how many miles I ran today" or "Guess how much I'm making since my raise," I always guess an impossibly large number so they have to say something smaller and feel less proud.

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Regarding the GT - in 3rd gear, I might add.

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