About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Saturday, May 27, 2017

SATURDAY #3079



I'M A BELIEVER


Scientists have been dazzled by the storms seen at Jupiter's poles.
"Think of a bunch of hurricanes, every one the size of the Earth, all packed so close together that each hurricane touches the other."

More on latest from Jupiter

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These are the names of all the people fallen during the protests in Venezuela.

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Queen gracing survivor with her presence. 
I like to think they just stood there staring at each other like that for 10 minutes straight. Then the Queen says "Right" and walks off. 


Manchester. Said to be Muslim and elderly Jew praying together.

Yeah, prayer will help. The bomber prayed right before he blew himself up.

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Democracy would work better if before people could vote they had to take a test to make sure their opinions conform to my opinions.


THINGS I'VE LEARNED RECENTLY

British captured German Stuka Dive bomber

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Beriozka - Traditional Russian dance where the dancers perform on their tippy-toes (en pointe) to give a floating appearance.

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Speaking of...

Incredibly fossil discovered in Canada


It is so well preserved that after being swept downstream in a flash flood and ended up in the ocean. This is what it looked like.


And it's big!

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In the view of the existentialist, the individual's starting point is characterized by what has been called "the existential attitude", or a sense of disorientation, confusion, or dread in the face of an apparently meaningless or absurd world.


LANGUAGE

That is one of my pet peeves. I preach taking your happiness into your own hands and if Plan A ain't working, get yourself a Plan B.

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Maybe the anti-plague coalition.

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I read somewhere that every human death was the result of oxygen deprivation to the brain. Even if you are vaporized in a nuclear exchange, the vaporization just prompted the cessation of oxygen supply to the brain cells that were now too far apart.

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This is me when I come across something I've posted months ago but it still made me smile and I'm deciding to repost it, hoping nobody notices.

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You can live in your car but you can't race your house.


PLACES

I live in a state where shit like this happens all the time, but we here in South Carolina haven't had a hurricane in several years and we are due.
I stayed on one beach in Alabama without a tree or even a bush. The last hurricane swept the whole place clean of vegetation. Sad.

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High in the Peruvian Andes, far above the tree line, lies an old gold-mining camp that has, over the years, grown to the status of a city. Over 30,000 people live in this mountainous city five vertical kilometers up in the air—the highest-elevation human settlement in the world.

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Well, in the deep South just regular Baptist wasn't nearly weird enough, so they came up with Southern Baptist. These are the strict interpretation people who as a rule have little or no higher education.

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About 25 kilometers off the coast of Canada, in the North Atlantic, lies a tiny bit of France. It’s a string of islands belonging to the archipelago of Saint Pierre and Miquelon, which—despite being located nearly 4,000 kilometer away from the mainland— are still under French control. These islands represent the last foothold of colonial France in the Atlantic.

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Following that thread of thought, look at this image.
What if it were possible to overlay every human footprint ever placed upon this scene. How much "unstepped on" space do you think there would be? I think a lot about such things.

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How often do you not answer a knock at the door because you don't want to put on pants?


ROLE MODELS

People who live life by their own rules are to be admired...

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People who game the system should be admired.
Some men are born great, others have greatness thrust upon them.
Did you spot the trick?

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All the shots on 17 at the Players.
You have to admire people who practice enough to be very good at the job the love.

I've been thinking about how to rate jobs from "interesting" to "mind-blowing boring."
That man spends all day every day throwing tiny little bowls of pottery. What do you think he is thinking about the whole time? It sure as shit ain't pottery.

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I admire companies who make quality products at an affordable price.
And their razors and pens do exactly what they are supposed to do and are cheap.

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This bit of advice from some guy on the internet:

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She did go into a coma for two weeks, has had 20 reconstructive surgeries, and 17 blood transfusions. 

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A brilliant way to solve the awkwardness of ascending and descending really steep stairs.

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This man should be a role model.
Why you ask? Because he was not in the street or sidewalk. He was in a safe viewing area...until the bull proved otherwise. But that was just bad luck, not stupidity.

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They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity.


PEOPLE WHO SHOULD NOT BE USED AS ROLE MODELS

World's First "Drone-Diving" BASE Jump

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Be cool with what you allow to upset you.

Take this guy...
Yes, that's right. He got mad at a train!
And I was rooting for the train the whole time.

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If you sell something, then it is your job to make sure it's not impure.

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I probably found this funnier than the average person.
J. Edgar Newman

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This is how my wife eats chicken legs.
She gets a lot of attention in restaurants, but I have won many a side bet.

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When you get caught with your side dick on camera.

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Some of us are still "it" from that last childhood game of tag.

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Where is that boat, by the way? You lost it?
How about this?
Oh, you lost that also. What else have you lost?
The tablets, the fragments of the first god-carved tablets, Eden, David's sling, Goliath's weapons, the cross, the dinnerware from the last supper, any handwritten message from Jesus, the Mormon gold message...should I go on?

How....convenient.

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