About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

TUESDAY #3082 NO FORMAT




LENA HORNE - STORMY WEATHER


Venezuela




"Yes they are cops, and they're stealing because they have the power, the weapons and they're the law."

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From an alert viewer:
"Frank Zappa composed and performed a song about Michael Kenyon (the Illinois Ennema Bandit). You can easily find it on youtube. I had the pleasure of seeing him perform it in concert some time after reading about the guy. I think very few of the people in the hall knew he was singing about a real person."

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 My bride when she used to pose nude.



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I was wondering around a liquor store when a clerk asked if I needed help. I said, "Yes, but I decided to come here instead."


YOU KNOW HOW I LOVE MAPS AND CHARTS

Some of these confused me. Like this first one:
The borders shown in Google Maps change depending on who’s looking at them.
What's up with that? Does that mean that if I traveled to those areas no one would know what nationality they were?

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The Internet in 1969.

The Internet in 2012

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Here's everyone who's immigrated to the US since 1970 (1 dot = 10,000 people)

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The total value of housing in every U.S. county.

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Air traffic around North Korea

Speaking of...
Keep that map in mind when we get to the dumbing down of television discussion below.

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Every country with an economy bigger than California is shown in red.

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US age pyramid becomes a rectangle by 2060
Anyone care to explain to me how in the world it would end up a rectangle? I mean, sure we get real good about prolonging health, but each 85 year old has had many more years to get killed in war or accidents.

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And lastly, here's Europe as Marge Simpson

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Here's the one that confuses me most.
Do you mean to tell me  we spend more time watching movies than taking a shit? And I bet women double the "Looking for lost possession" just considering keys.

Speaking of being confusing...
My father was an engineer. He never did anything frivolous; yet this image from a family reunion shows a brick hanging from a tree. Can anyone help me deduce it's function?


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There will come a day when the only species left to kill is ourselves.


GRAVE DISAPPOINTMENTS

I love science and history.

I was addicted to science programming and had it on my TV damn near all day. Then something awful happened.

Every learning channel on my TV now broadcasts programs about ghosts, bigfoot, aliens, ignorant rednecks, people who catch alligators, the fucking Kardashians, etc.  

I know it could be argued that my sports addiction is no better than those programs, but that's not the point. The point is that all those dumbed down programs have REPLACED real learning programing.
Now, let's address who profits from this dumbing down.
I posit that the dumbing down of TV is a financial bonanza to the producers. Sticking a camera crew on a gator hunter's boat must be cheaper than producing a show about, say, black holes.
But it's not entirely the programer's fault. TV viewership is down. The smart people are moving to the internet and the stupid people remain glued to the TV and are catered to by the programers.
And it disgusts me.

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Rappel down 290ft building in 7seconds.
There are people who dedicate their lives to protecting us...you and me. Police, firemen, and soldiers, and I thank them.
But the system is not perfect...far from it.

Louisiana funds its public defenders' office with conviction fees, leaving a public defender's office that averages $238 spent on each accused.

I call that gaming the system in favor of the government. 


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The world is already full of brain dead idiots, a zombie apocalypse would just give me an excuse to shoot them in the face.


PEOPLE I RESPECT

It disappoints me that the people who protect us are paid so little.
And setting aside the very real possibility that you could die, they must go wherever it is they are commanded...wherever.
And about that image. Prior to landing on that island, air and naval bombardment had reduced the jungle to what you see above, yet the awaiting foe survived. Mind boggling.

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I respect people who use their time to amuse us.

And...
Impressively shallow water, but the pool is atop god knows how much snow.

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Question: Do you think this would float if the motor just stopped?
I do think that distractions are important for a healthy life. Some people need more distractions than most of us, but that's not my point. My point is that I respect people who are very good at inventing ever better distractions.

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Read an article about where are all the strong female movie leads.
These three movies are proof positive that movies with female lead sell well.

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I have a young friend who majored in Electrical Engineering (computers) and physics and is now going to law school. She wants to be a patent attorney and knows most of her work will deal with computer programs. I hope you appreciate how forward looking that is.

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I respect young women who are healthy.


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The guy in the toilet stall next to me just sighed and said "oh man" and that alone was way, way, way too much information for me.


PEOPLE I DO NOT RESPECT

I do not respect Adolf Hitler.
But that is a hell of a photograph.

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I bet her mother is proud.

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I found that very funny.

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????


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There should be a YouTube compilation of the expressions on women's faces when they discover a dress they are trying on also has pockets.


THINGS GOING AWRY


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Scallops look other worldly scary.
Those blue things are fucking EYES.
Or so I'm told.

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My bet is that the wall builder went by the plans and the plumber did not.

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Jeez.

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Dayum!

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(on first date)
Waitress: HELP! Is there a Doctor in the restaurant?
Date: Aren't you going to help?
Me: Haha ok well maybe I'm not a real doctor.


LANGUAGE

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Words I would have bet money were never arranged in a sentence before.

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SPOILER ALERT!


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Tall, fit, great hair, dazzling smile, good with kids, excellent swordsman, right-handed. 
  ~ Captain Hook's Tinder profile 


SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY

It distresses me the amount of medical funds are spent on cosmetics.
I bet that would look really weird reversed.

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Best comment made to FCC about Net Neutrality...

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A UK weapons company called Drone Defense has sold an anti-drone product to Les Nicolles prison on Guernsey that will use 20 nonspecific "disruptor's" to do something to drones that will stop them from overflying the prison and smuggling in contraband.

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And...
A guy said he was pouring over code for a game the other day and found, word for word, "IF NOT BREATHING THEN @BREATHE" which is just great life advice.


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Nothing confuses me more than a straight up street thug with braces.

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Am I the only one who is concerned about this?



2 comments:

smk762 said...

Hi Ralph,

To understand the hotdog / not hotdog app you need to watch Silicon Valley.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2575988/

I think you will appreciate the humour :)

Anonymous said...

Re the brick on the tree:
Jimmy said the rope goes out to the Dock and the brick keeps pressure on the rope to keep the Dock STRAIGHT.
Townada

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