About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

TUESDAY #3110

One Of My Very Own...


SATISFACTION




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Just how hot is Phoenix?
 If that's not urine then it ought to be.

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Obama's use of a string of complete sentences seen as a brutal attack of Trump.


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Not to brag, but all 6 of my previous therapists are having successful careers in different fields now.


NATURE AND SUCH

Beautified petrified wood
That stuff literally litters the ground near Petrified Forest National Park. There are mega stores packed with it, some of the pieces as large as a car.

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Did you see the HUGE crack all the way across the top and down the side? Count me out.

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Oh, dear.
(I know this is a repost)
So why didn't he drop to the ground. It looks like everyone is watching the advancing horde.

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Doga?

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This is what most people think of when you say "Lakefront Property."

This is my friend's Lakefront Property.

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Elk vs Cattle Guard 
Clever fellow or more highly motivated than livestock?


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Literally nothing makes me more angry than watching my kid yawn an hour after he dragged me out of bed at 5am.


QUESTIONABLE HUMAN ACTIVITY

That will get your ass kicked in this military town.

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What happens when you peel off 30 years of graffiti?


And just because this fits here perfectly.

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Read it and weep.

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I'm also that way when my wife keeps fiddling with her vagina in public. Drives me up the wall.

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When the authorities get serious about something...
Yeah, that's what I want. To be handcuffed to a burning building.


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First they came for the mime artists, and I said something, because I didn't want them to think I was also a mime artist.


SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY

A viewer sent this to me, and I appreciate it.
It is a wind tunnel test for a car attempting to break the land speed record. I guessing the colors indicate different air densities.

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Robotic Spy Pup lives among a pack of wild dogs to film the emotional dynamics of wild dog life.


By mimicking their body language he becomes accepted by the pack.




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I wonder why they didn't use that on my ass after hip replacement.


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 Can dragons blow out candles?


THINGS TO THINK ABOUT

The little clock thing is how to hold the signal flags. Notice how some of them change in a logical way, with the next letter moving a mere tick away.

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This is a little necklace I made my wife made out of one of my many Hearts of Stone.
That is an extremely durable bees wax saturated string. It's used to sew leather.
I have no idea why it is moving like that.

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"Your feet."
Hahahabananahaha!

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I'm sure her Mom is proud.

Instructions to Baskin-Robbins cake decorator.
I think about stuff like that when I see porn stars.
That's some sick ass shit right there.

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"Are you done? I need a nap."
Marriage in a nutshell.

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Oh, my.

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This Utah Bar is legally required to offer food to customers. Here's their "menu."

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Ha!

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I find it puzzling that Alzheimer's patients who can't remember their own children can still remember the tune and words to every song they have ever heard...nursery rhymes, pop culture, hymns, and even their school's alma maters. 


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ME: Hi, I've got my hearing test today.
LAWYER: I keep telling you it's not a test.


PERSONAL TRANSPORTATION

Let's start off remembering this cool as ice Russian.

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Well played, sir. Well played.
...and with Flying Spaghetti Monster decal. Very well played.

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How the other half lived...

And my favorite...

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"The man who fell from the sky."
What if he fell asleep somewhere up there and woke up down there. Lucky bastard.

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This is the annual Titsafloppin Festival in Oslo.

The guy on the left looks just like my young chemist friend, Stephen.


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This is the coolest shit you've seen all year!
I mean Gaaawd Damn, y'all. Now I want to go, just so they would give me the keys to that thing.


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 I told my wife that "STFU" stands for "Sincere Thanks For Understanding" and it's REALLY important that none of you tell her otherwise.

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Both sides of every argument "knows" they are right.
Of course nothing is ever as clear cut as that. It's one thing to turn down an invitation; a whole nother thing to refuse to deny commerce.

But I'm more concerned with the people who actually believe that if you do the secret dance and chant the magic verses, then god will be on your side.


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