About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

WEDNESDAY JOB OPTIONS #3111

One Of My Very Own...




DIAMONDS ON THE SOULS OF HER SHOES

Has it occurred to anyone else that we Americans should at least explore a single payer health care system like the rest of the civilized world? And if not, why not. I don't mean running headlong into something none of us understand, but at least run it through the accountants and such to see realistic numbers of how much it would cost us. Am I missing something here?


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Now kids have it easy. When I was young, the hot singles in my area had to walk the streets yelling they wanted sex with me.


JUST FOR LAUGHS

That is how you write a really good joke.

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There is an Atlas joke in there somewhere.

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This is what a microscope looks like under a pencil tip.


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You know the guy who discovered Newfoundland really needs to work on his naming skills.




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 I've been playing the blame game with my wife. I'm losing 1,227,456 to 3.


LET'S LEARN SOMETHING






June 12, 2017, was the 50th anniversary of Loving v. Virginia in which the US Supreme Court declared unconstitutional all criminal laws prohibiting inter-racial marriage, sex, & co-habitation.


"I hope this post help raise awareness of the long road to civil justice and equality.  Since it seems to be custom to make a request when a post reaches FP, I ask that you be kind to your neighbors.  You don't know their struggles.  Be well."

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Scientists from University of Munich in Germany have achieved at cooling atoms down to below the "absolute zero" (Negative nano-kelvins" and are on the road to possibly inventing the infinity-machine.


I thought absolute zero was the point at which atoms stopped moving. If so, how could you measure not moving atoms not moving even more?

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Guess what the word SPLOOT means.
A. A ski move.
B. A relaxation posture.
C. Sound made by skipping stone.
D. A unit of currency.

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When you attend an interracial wedding.
That just emphasized how important the pre-drinking really is.

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I wonder how many sharks get a mouthful of diving birds by mistake.

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Such joy. That's actually very touching...no pun intended.

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B. A relaxation posture.

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This is my all time favorite cartoon.

Did you find yourself saying a half "Hey", half bark. I do that every time I come upon it.

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See anything odd about this?
Most people will notice that this can't be the Titanic because it had four smoke stacks. But the truth is it only had three smoke stacks and an identical air intake.
As a matter of fact, in this photo you can see a crewman who climbed to the very top of the air intake - the very first stack...that tiny dot.

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There is a guy that superimposes old classics onto modern scenes. I like them very much.
Do all you taggers out there live in apartments like this? And if not, why not? And more importantly, if you owned a building would you welcome it from your fellow taggers?


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Shout out to the top 5 cakes in the world: crab, pan, pound, urinal and let them eat.


JOBS OPTIONS FOR FUN AND PROFIT

I concerns me that so many of you fine people have jobs you hate. So here are a few jobs opportunities you may not have considered.

You could be a stunt driver.
You don't make a lot of money but the chances are you won't live to retirement anyway.

Stunt driving to dangerous for you? Try just being a stunt double. You get to hang with the famous people and can probably get to keep some of your costumes.
Furthermore, all those scars are excellent conversation starters with those blind dates at Olive Garden.

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Editors are always in great demand.

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Any of you girls really, really like having sex with strangers, some of them violent? Well, do I have a job for you.

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If actual intercourse is not for you, maybe you would prefer to simulate it...using a pole on stage...in front of men you wouldn't allow to open the car door for you.

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Architects get paid well...
And if you make a mistake just say you meant to do it that way.

And you get to jiggle green liquid as often as you like.

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And if you have the confidence, you might want to become an actor. It's really easy.
All you have to do is precisely what the director tells you to do. He says jump, you don't say shit, you just jump. But the pay is damn good.

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You might try being a dictator. It's a pretty good gig while it lasts.
That is Adolf Hitler practicing his speech in the mirror, which we all do anyway.

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There are two ways to assist people who are in trouble. This type takes years of practice and expensive equipment.

This type requires no practice and little to no equipment.
But it is a relatively easy way to go viral on the internet.

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You could be a serial killer like Rodney Alcala, here on the dating game (1978)


Victims: 8–130

Alcala "toyed" with his victims, strangling them until they lost consciousness, then waiting until they revived, sometimes repeating this process several times before finally killing them.
I guess one of the hardest parts is keeping an accurate body count.

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If you like to sit on your ass for hours and hours at a time, you could become a bomber pilot.

Less demanding is piloting a helicopter. You still can sit on your ass, but you have to be alert and making adjustments every fucking second or...well, this happens.

Or are you the type who likes to destroy tens of thousands of dollars of plate glass windows instantly?
Boy, do I have a gig for you.

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Demolition man is one hell of a job.
A big plus is that you are never asked to take your kids to work with you.

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Like pounding on shit? Be a carpenter. 
That is testament to the accuracy of someone who's hammer has built 200 houses.

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This is a more or less perfect job.
The downside is you don't make money, you pay money. But the lunches are free.

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You could be the office prankster.
Arkansas Man is giving Florida Man a run for his money. 

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How about a sauna tester?

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Ever heard of a truck righter-upper?
Some upper body strength required.

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Like to be confused, like constantly? Maybe you could be a meth addict?
Life expectancy isn't all that great, but you make a lot of new friends in law enforcement.

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If you are a guy who likes adventure and are easily stimulated...

PS: I had a lot of fun doing that section of this post.


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My favorite Bible stories are where women are villains for things like picking fruit or giving their boyfriend a better haircut.

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