About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, July 7, 2017

FRIDAY #3119

One Of My Very Own...


MIDNIGHT HOUR
I've danced a million miles to that song.


I love shit like this.





And my favorite...



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I speak four languages: British, American, Canadian and Australian.


OLD ADS AND OTHER FUNNIES


I was very fortunate that my mustache naturally grows toward the side and not down. Interestingly, my brother's grows straight down, but my father's grew to the side like mine.

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And, boy, does this fit next or what.

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Always buy a bigger bottle than you think you'll need. Better safe than sober.


PEOPLE BEING CLEVER

"Man Spreading" explained with wearable fake genitalia. 

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In 2005, hurricane Gudrun (Erwin) has destroyed lots of acres of forests in Denmark and Sweden, creating this largest collection of fallen timber in the world in Sweden.
I just wonder why they didn't do this in South Carolina after Hugo.

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"May 17, 1990 – The World Health Organization removes homosexuality from its list of diseases. This marked the beginning of a slow change towards public acceptance of homosexuality which is still ongoing."
And in such a short time we look back on that as we do blood letting to cure diseases or the inquisition "confessions". 
I just wonder what else today will be considered obscenely stupid to future generations.

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If I'm not mistaken, the car is so well balanced that each tire carries the same load...which is good.
Any car buffs out there?

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Sumobots are exactly what they sound like. The point is to get the opponent's bot out of the ring.
Of course, most matches are much more exciting than that one. And in case you are not familiar with traditional Sumo wrestling, here's an tutorial:
Write that shit down, y'all.


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I knew a guy so competitive he even refused to lose his virginity.


PEOPLE BEING NOT SO CLEVER

Let's play What Was This Man Arrested For:

CHOOSE ONE OR MORE:

A. No headlamp on bicycle.

B. Possession of a wild raccoon.
C. Having a meth lab.
D. "Punishing" his wife with jumper cables.
E. Cooking and eating a neighbor's dog...in front of said neighbor.
F. Exposing himself to a van full of tourist nuns.
G. Threatening to kill the President and every member of congress.
H. Shooting his barber.


BONUS QUESTION: What is his first, middle and last name?

_ _ RRY  _ _ RRY  _ _ RRY

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Remember the rule: Protect Yourself At All Times.
That even applies to team huddles...
I will admit that I had to watch that four times before noticing the oddness.

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He's not the first... He wont be the last.

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How easy is it to die? Very easy...
That's one stupid, yet lucky sumbitch. And THAT is why most such things have backup beepers.

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You get what you pay for.

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Watched a TV special on the War on Drugs.
Prescription drugs are getting completely out of hand. Even with huge penalties and years in prison, there are doctors proscribing powerful opioids for just about anything you can think of...sore back for example.

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A. No headlamp on bicycle.
B. Possession of a wild raccoon.
Barry Larry Terry
(ps: If that isn't true, keep it to yourself. It doesn't really matter to me one way or the other.)

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A real headline:


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Oreo spelled backwards is still oroe.


CREATURES WHO SHARE OUR PLANET

These things are amazing.

I'm going to assume that the above is why so many of them can survive something like this.
As a matter of fact, I read that they can survive very well without an arm or leg.

They do, however, appear a bit moody.

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I know that was silly, but imagine being there in person and you're a little high or you have a good buzz on and you are laughing your ass off.


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I don't use my turn signals because it's nobody's business where I'm going.


MILITARY MATTERS

You do what you have to do...

And my favorite...
A 50 caliber Ma Deuce welded to a wheel barrow.
(and if that doesn't happen to be a Ma Deuce I don't really give a shit. Thanks)


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When I travel I pack one shoe in each suitcase so if it is stolen they can't wear a pair of my shoes.


ART

Amsterdam’s Schiphol Airport is located just 9 km southwest of the city and this "land art" reduces the noise impact on the city.

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I did something very similar to this.
But instead of coming out of the wall, mine appears imbedded in the ground. I even had huge chunks of asphalt where the body met the ground. I wired it so the left turn signal flashed continuously and a balloon caption read: "I Said Left, Harold."
(It got in newspapers all over the world...true.)

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Perception, Michael Murphy
There seems to be very many of those hanging object installations nowadays. 


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My wife and I do this cute married thing where we both try to look busy as the other enters the room, to prove we deserve to be the most tired.

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To an atheist, that is the quality of argument in all Christian rebuttals.


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