About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Sunday, July 2, 2017

SUNDAY ##3115

One Of My Very Own...


The Devil Went Down to Georgia


HAPPY BIRTHDAY CANADA!

A Canadian sent me that, but said he was sorry for doing so.

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IT IS THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN

These are called the sports doldrums. There is nothing to gamble on, and my regular gamblers and myself are getting a little antsy. Therefore we have devised a rather sophisticated gambling ruse involving Facebook.
We are going to post a comment...or more specifically we are going to talk someone into posting it...onto the local neighborhood community Facebook page. Then we are going to bet on:
1. When the first reply will be made.
2. Whether more men or more women will reply.
3. How many times the word "Crazy", "Lunatic", "Imbecile", etc will be used.
4. How many people will "get" it.
5. Will the total number of replies in 24 hours be odd or even.

Now keep in mind that our neighborhood is full of rather liberal, politically active people.
Here is what we are going to post:

I am convinced that skin cancer is caused by chemicals in sunscreen. The sun is actually very beneficial and cures cancer, which is one of the many reasons for chemtrails - to block out some of the sun's healing properties.




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There is nothing funnier than the ridiculous faces people make mid-coitus.

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NOTE: Hang around until the end and I may have a joke for you.

THINGS THAT ARE HARD TO UNDERSTAND



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This movie ladies face is very strange.
When relaxed her mouth is far wider than the distance between her pupils. Strange.

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When you use your ink pouch to escape your enemies...

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I've never heard of such a thing...

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Old molds for casting latex dildos.
A scrap metal guy bought them. I would have sold them one at a time on Ebay.


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Natural does not equate to good. There is nothing more natural than being mauled by a bear.


CONSPIRACIES

I hate conspiracies.
Forget the flawed logic, do you know how many 10s of thousands of people had to ALL keep their mouths shut if it had been faked?

NASA in HEBREW means “TO DECEIVE.”


On all the TV alien shows I hear this over and over: "Many ancient aliens enthusiast believe..." as if there proved anything.
I do believe they exist, as do many legitimate scientist.
A scientist who seems to know what he's talking about believes that if aliens are ever encountered by us humans, math is the indispensable, primary key in communicating with them, for it is a language based on universal scientific beliefs and observations.

Great Shot of Inside Chemtrail Airplane!!! 
Wow. Perfect timed post item for my intro piece about Facebook.

How could so many Americans believe that tripe? Well, this could help explain it:
We are just fucking stupid.

Trick or treat...Your foreskin or eternal fire.
I have been called a "God denier."
Imagine that...the one applying logic is the goof ball.

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Imagine if someone handed you a box filled with items you've lost throughout your life. Interesting exercise. Think about it a moment.


PEOPLE DOING THINGS I CAN'T OR WON'T

The ole ring dropped in the lake trick...
And another stupid ass formal wedding where he and she can play prince and princess for a day.

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Oh, I've showed my ass before, but I would never demean myself with a formal wedding, pretending we are some sort of royalty.

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Illegal Mammoth Tusk Hunt In Siberia

“With the sale of elephant tusks under close scrutiny, “ethical ivory” from the extinct woolly mammoth is now feeding much of China’s hunger for tusks. Every summer, bands of tusk hunters head into the Russian wilderness in the hopes of striking it rich."

They first boat in a huge pump.

Then they start boring huge holes in the river bank.

And the payoff is a once poor man is now a rich man...

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Nicely Edited

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Intense Sex Involving Sheep - ISIS.

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Meanwhile at a Brazilian grocery...

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I'm impressed.

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I am not impressed.
I used to be able to squat like that.

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Kentucky "zombie" high on Serenity tries to eat cops.
Now think back to Rodney King.


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Don't live the same year 75 times and call it a life.


GOOD IDEAS

Comments?

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 As heroin-related deaths soar in the United States, a group of researchers said they may be one step closer to developing a vaccine that could block the drug’s addictive high.

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Can you imagine if the wonderful folks at Bic, who make those great lighters, pens and razors, got into the cellphone business?

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What a wonderful thought.

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The brilliance of fighting violence with non-violence. The man was a genius.

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Ch√Ęteau de Puilaurens. Roussillon
The first thing I think about is hauling all those building materials straight up that mountain.

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You ever seen seen the lean on an aircraft carrier taking evasive maneuvers?
That's just another example of awful naming. "What do you want to call the awesome ship that carries aircraft?"
That's the point when pure laziness kicked in.

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Wood Shop trick
You can get that at a drug store. You mix it with water, then apply hot air from a hair dryer. It darkens into a rich brown that looks like it was wood burned. You can paint, stencil it, stamp it or put it in a pen. Watch the video if you are into such things.

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Dolphins realized that fish are easier caught by air than in the water. By creating a "net" of mud, the fish jump out of the water to escape it, only on fall in the mouth of those smart cookies.


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All dressed up and nowhere to die.


PLANETS

All of you probably (I pray) know this about the Earth.

But I didn't know what was going on with the other planets.
Metalic hydrogen. Wow.


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Just found out I'm colorblind. Well, that came right out of the yellow.

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A young woman in Rome confessed to her mother that she was pregnant. The mother screamed that she wanted to know the name of this scoundrel and the daughter said that she had called him and he was on the way.
30 minutes later a brand new Ferrari pulled in the driveway and a handsome middle-aged man wearing an Armani suit and a huge gold watch approached the apprehensive parents.
He said, "I am the father, but because of my family situation I will be unable to marry your daughter, but if she has a daughter I will give her two of my stores and put 2 million dollars in her bank account. If she has a son, I will give her 4 of my stores and put 4 million dollars in her bank account. If she has twins, I will double it."
Then he lowered his gaze and said, "I don't know what to do if there is a miscarriage."
The girl's father walked to the man's side, put an arm around his shoulder and whispered, "Fuck her again, Signore. Fuck her again." 

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Translation: Smart people recognize bullshit, but also recognize the futility of arguing with the morons. Therefore, we converted the morons.

Want to see an illustration of converting morons?

There are millions of people who want to murder me for posting this.

And please don't tell me that "they aren't all bad." They way many Muslim men treat their women is all I need to know.


2 comments:

Cailban said...

All your years and you still haven't figured out that any sentence containing the phrase "they all" when refering to human behavior must be wrong.

Ralph Henry said...

Criticism accepted. I will repair the oversight.

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