About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

TUESDAY #3116

One Of My Very Own...



Ned Beatty, forever known as the guy who got butt-fucked by a hillbilly while oinking like a pig.
Now that, boys and girls, is a line on you resume.


I have a new background image.

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"I am" is the shortest complete sentence in the english language. "No."


CREATIVE LANGUAGE


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No wonder they always looked so chill in those old photographs.

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Honest Book Titles



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A genuine Oh Shit moment.

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I'll bet money the driver was texting.

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"I'll take number 3 or the win, Alex."

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Question young people: Do people in your dreams send text message to other people in your dreams?


SNAFU
(FUBAR)


They don't make 'em like this anymore.
I'm thinking that was a reinforced military building.

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Blurring out the nipple makes this classy as fuck.

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Day drinking makes golf so much more fun.
And then his "friends" put the whole thing on Youtube.

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Just when you think it can't get any worse...

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Watched a movie about cave explorers. They all held their flares directly in front of their face.
You do the math.

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Freak Factor of Jobs


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One does not simply become an honest person by placing his hand on a bible.


THE OPPOSITE OF SNAFU
(NON-FUBAR)


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I'm not easily impressed, but...

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I'll let this speak for itself...

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"Probably not that big of an achievement for musicians living in big cities, but as a young chick from the Midwest, it was a pretty awesome experience. The world could always use more Rachmaninoff."
My first wife played a whole bunch of Rachmaninoff.

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It's not a non-fubar because he did it...
It's non-fubar because he could outlive that to still become a great actor.

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Watched a video about that. Fire drawer, water drawer and food drawers. Here's the only part you may omit.
I think just drilling some hole in it would work.

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Interestingly, a man invented it and never was adequately thanked.

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Yes, houses could be ordered in kits, complete down to the doorknobs and nails.


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Some guy just called me a pussy for putting on sunscreen. Imagine thinking you are tougher than the sun? The fucking sun!


ART

He covered it with wallpaper.

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If I asked you to name this painting you would most likely say, "Whistler's Mother."
The name is actually "The Artist's Mother."
But if I may add, his is the most kick ass name of any artist ever.

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It’s a small world, Slinkachu

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"I'm so sorry...were you close?"
- An appropriate thing to say during sex or at a funeral.

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Hard to do when the system has had decades convincing us that we are powerless.

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