About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

WEDNESDAY #3137

One Of My Very Own...



Lyle Lovett - If I had a boat



Last year, Snopes Co-Founder was accused of embezzling company money, and spending it on prostitutes. Now you can find the blog begging for $500k in funding via GoFundMe. So far, the campaign has raised $18,000 in 3 hours via 710 people.

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 Do all private schools have a mandatory gesture class?



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"I'm always shocked that only 7 people a year get killed on this ride." -me, at the amusement park, trying to shorten the lines.


PEOPLE

Kind of looks like he has peed his pants.

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Is this even legal?


Ladies and gentlemen, the worst skateboarder in the world.

And...

Then there's this knee to the face.

You ever wonder what kind of damage that does?
This madness in the name of entertainment must stop. It's like the gladiators in Rome. Jeez!

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When you see it...
"What'd I do, officer?"

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Lawrence Krauss  
He's the scientist that is in just about every TV show about space.

I saw him acting in movie "Salt and Fire."
He acquitted himself admirably.

By the way, in that movie they had many images of the salt flat (as shown above) and the pattern looked very much like this pattern on a glass paned door.

I don't know what that means...it's just an observation.

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And here for your viewing pleasure...
Give it up, y'all, for the most evil man on the planet! And some would say richest. 


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I love weddings to see the old, shitty tattoos chicks got that you can see now because of their dresses.


PLACES

Guy sprayed mosquito spray in his yard before a party.
Killed all his bees.
Shit, just another thing to worry about.

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The number of syllables in caramel.

Most hated state by states

South Carolina is best Carolina. We about shit when the Carolina Panthers were based in Charlotte instead of straddling the border as was suggested.

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Somewhere in Canada

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When you found a cap but you can't read English and you wear it to the mosque.
It should have said, "Show me your ankles."


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Love that classic Italian phrase 'mamma mia' which means 'my mother is missing in action.'


THINGS


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Migaloo: The rare albino humpback

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Trebuchet

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I really like well-engineered items.

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Does anyone know how they make that? I'm thinking frozen in a mold.

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Took him about 200h. Micron markers.
Done with dots...I think.

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Have you ever wondered why they don't put a silencers on machine guns?

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Quantum Levitation 
You can tell it's science by the way it is.

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Ants ate this mouse down to the bones. Left the fur.


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"I don't want this ball." 
"Well, I don't want it either."
 - Inventor of tennis


HE SAID, SHE SAID

Write that shit down, y'all. I've taught more playing games with my kids than any other way.

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All I saw was that the moon won at Tic-tac-toe.

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The proof that we have actually all lost our collective minds.

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Last night my chemist friend brought an absolutely beautiful Persian student into the bar and they spent the entire evening on their phones.

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I still find it astounding that there are still so many people who believe an invisible man out in space somewhere actually gives a shit about how some human spends their weekend.

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Oh, my.

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Never thought about it in just that way.

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How would you describe Yahtzee to a deaf person without using the jerk-off motion?


OLDIES BUT GOODIES
For my newer viewers who may have never been on the internet before.




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If a friend's bathroom doesn't have a hand towel out, it's okay to dry your hands on the curtain. 
~ Man card rule 23

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If you think that is crazy, you need to read Revelations. 


My guess is the second coming of Jesus already happened and he was either shot by police or died poor from a preventable disease.

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Item 2:

But, of course, someone is going to accuse him of being a snowflake or being offended. You can't win these kind of arguments.


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Totally a snowflake

Anonymous said...

When people refer to me as a snowflake I tell them I'm a sharp ass piece of sleet.
Your super liberal mate aka Towanda

Unknown said...

Even though I don't enjoy it, Ultimate fighting isn't like Roman gladiators at all. Those modern guys are doing it by choice; while the gladiators (with few exceptions) were forced into it. HUGE difference.

But keep up the good work.
-Paul

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