About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Saturday, August 5, 2017

SATURDAY #3147

One Of My Very Own...



Mystery Man | Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers


A demonstrator aims a pistol during clashes with government forces as the Constituent Assembly election was being carried out in Caracas, Venezuela, July 30, 2017.
I'm not absolutely sure that that is a real pistol. But it doesn't really matter, does it. This young man could justifiable be shot by the authorities. I know the powers that be have killed your people, but you can't beat them with firepower.
Take a lesson from Martin L. King. Non-violent protest will get you farther along your way than the isolated wounded cop or soldier.

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OTHERKIN
Believing you identify as an inanimate object.

Before you overreact...
 Think how boring life would be if we were all the same...
I smell a simple desire for attention. But as long as it doesn't affect me, I don't give a shit.

This guy identifies as a worm, but the arms and legs are a dead giveaway...
Tuck those away or they will strip you of your Otherkin Club membership.

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A ONCE IN A LIFETIME SALE
The address for this sale in Germantown, TN 38139 will be available after 9:00 AM on Friday, August 11th, 2017.

Rooms full of stuff like this.

My preacher's father owned a pawn shop.
And when he died the preacher son inherited all the guns. He knew nothing of guns, but knew that I did, so he called me over to his house to help him sort them. It was pretty straight forward and I soon had piles of Kentucky long rifles, Civil War muskets, German and other foreign WWI and WWII guns. 
After I was finished he told me to pick one out he wanted to give me one. In all honesty I didn't much like the man as the atheist bug had already bitten me, so I refused. He insisted, so I took the most banged up Civil War musket in the collection. He threw in a powder horn just like one of these.





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A spaghetti is a bad Italian neighborhood.


ARTS AND CRAFTS

The necklaces of Belgium.

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Tirpitz, sister ship of the battleship Bismarch made of match sticks.



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Many people make knives out of ordinary non-knives.

This is what they started with...
What you may not know if that wrench was the entire tool box that came with a Model T. As I understand it, it could do everything that needed to be done on the car. When I was growing up you could buy them for a dime a dozen.

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What's 10 inches long, hard as a rock, full of sperm and makes women scream? The sock under a teenager's bed.


HUMAN SEXUALITY

I think the problem is that I've never been completely weaned.
Never denied it.

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When you're Fuck Boy but then you grow up.

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Why do you suppose penis is spelled like that? Is there now something nasty about the word penis?

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It's only a matter of time.


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If laziness was an Olympic sport I'd probably come in 4th so I wouldn't have to walk to the podium.


THE NATURAL WORLD

Another trip down memory lane because, by god, it's worth it.
Let that be a lesson to the rest of you.

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My back hurts just watching this...
You know those manmade islands in Dubai and the China Sea, where they simply pump sand from the ocean floor until the pile breaks the surface. Then they put in powerful vibrators and it looks just like that. The water seeps lower and lower.

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How clever.
No need to cut the logs up, just keep feeding them toward the center.

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An iguana farting in a bathtub.
A thing I would bet you've never seen.

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Cliffs of Moher, Ireland.

Or not. I even researched it in Google Image Search and came up empty. But why would somebody lie about a thing like that?

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Ha!

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D-Day commonly refers to the only day in the past 70 years on which the French didn't act like pompous dickheads to American tourists.


EXEMPLARY HUMAN PEOPLE...OR NOT

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Buster Keaton.
No trick camera work. He did all the stunts himself.



But not without mishap.
I know you've probably seen those before, but I now have a whole bunch of people in Burundi who need to see it.

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Native American Medal of Honor recipient Red Cloud killed in action 62 years ago.


And to think he couldn't walk in a white man's bar had he made it home.



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The original Star Spangled Banner that appeared in the dawn's early light over Ft. McHenry during the battle of Baltimore 200 years ago.
You see that huge hole toward the top middle? That's where Dolly Madison let various party guests take home souvenirs...clipped from the heart of one of our most revered artifacts.

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Do you remember the 1202 alarm during the moon landing? Quite harrowing.

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His throat tat had two lines that were deliberately inked backwards so he could read them every morning when he shaved.

And...

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AN OBSERVATION (NOT MINE)


There is such a wonderful...smart and ethical younger generation coming along...so superior to the Earth destroying morons currently in charge..I look forward to watching the old paradigm fall.



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Obsessive-compulsive Disorder (O.C.D) is getting really upset that there is no period after the D in the first part of this sentence.


FILMDOM

People really like doing this. I bet the ah-ha moment would be trilling.

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Smart young friend turned me onto these years ago. Some of them will require a wait.



I gave up on this one.
Anybody wait around for the payoff?


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What is and what is not a toilet depends on how drunk you are.


THINGS I HAVE LEARNED

I'm thinking this guy can actually speed up on this sidewalk. Remember the steel ball beating other balls when on a slight ramp shaped like that?

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You lucky bastards.

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They used those in WWII also and were said to go all the way through a truck. When I was growing up they sold them in Army-Navy store for a nickel. We tried and tried to figure out a way to weaponize them, but to no avail.

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I imagine the payoff is the undeclared tips.

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The dominoes communicate with each other wirelessly. When the first one falls, it sends a signal to the second, and a tab comes out from the bottom of the second domino, which makes it fall over. You can change the order in which the dominoes fall by tilting them. If you tilt them to the left, they go one step ahead. If you tilt them to the right, they drop one step behind.

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I'll just be damn. But you wouldn't have to flip them over, just turn them around.

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 Girl invents a fish trap that works like a charm.
No need to watch the whole thing. See how it's constructed, then move to minute 10.


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I always give a thumb's up while yawning so deaf people know I'm not screaming.


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2 comments:

Matt said...

i know otherkin is ridiculous but it just puts such a big smile on my face. i remember finding this blog one time about other kin confessions. This one person was mermaidkin but they felt self conscious because they couldnt swim and feared the ocean. hahaha. I just dont know how anyone can read that and not find it endearing as hell.

imagine a mermaid that cant swim... ha

Ralph Henry said...

Indeed.

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