About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

TUESDAY #3143 MORE LANGUAGE

One Of My Very Own...





US slaps sanctions on Venezuela, a country with no food or medicine.

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Michelle Carter being sentenced this Thursday for the suicide death of her boyfriend, Conrad Roy, whom she told to do it.

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Until somebody proves homos and boy

/girls can't shoot a gun straight, they're qualified.






<>
Me: She really needs to calm down.
Alcohol: You should tell her.


PART THAT IS LANGUAGE
(WARNING: Some Reposts)


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"Give me Canada and I'll let you do it up my pooper..."

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Speaking of...

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Excellent question.
"How should I know, you had them last."

PART THAT IS NOT LANGUAGE

This would never be approved in the US.
You think there are stop pads like they have on elevator doors?

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This looks just like that parrot I wrote about one time...
The parrot who could whistle the entire Andy Griffiths theme.

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Australian wildlife is so special.
I had no idea these things existed.

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Fuck this one car in particular.
It would have been funnier if the sun roof had been open.

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Workers cleaning up mayflies after this year's hatch along the Mississippi River. 
That's a lot of fucking Mayflies.
I think that should make good fertilizer.

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Holy shit, y'all!
I WANT ONE!!

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Who? Yeah, WHO.

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I found this fascinating.




Bravo!
Be like good guy Uruguay.

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Wiley Post's pressure suit from his record setting 1934 flight (50,000 ft).

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This guy is brilliant.
First he makes an exact copy of his frozen sculpture character.
Then he just leaves it leaning against a post.

And the replica made more money that he made during the same period of time.

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Remember when I used to ask you to invent a scenario for a photo? Well, here's one for you to attempt.
Woman allergic to grapes. Man doesn't get a shit.
The end

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You gotta love Texas.

<>
ME: You're from Canada? Say something Canadian.
HIM: Free health care.

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It has occurred to me that evolutionary logic would dictate that male sperm should taste awful, prompting all but the hardiest of women to shun oral sex with revulsion, thus increasing the chances of pregnancy. The same for her anus. Had it not been the precise size to accommodate the male penis...although marginally, there would be far less wasted potential babies. And don't get me started about the biological miscarriage of homosexuality. Yet, we made it anyway. So now I will quit thinking of it.


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