About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

WEDNESDAY #3144

One Of My Very Own...



LARA'S THEME


GoT Funnies





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This is the guy.
Jason Brown, 28, identified as suspect in Thursday shooting death of Indiana cop was still hanging upside down, and reportedly "hysterical" in the car he flipped when he grabbed for his hand gun and fired at Allen 14 times as Allan attempted to aid the suspects trapped in the car.

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Venezuelan opposition leaders have been taken from their homes in the middle of the night by the secret police just one day after elections.

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Tonight the American Soccer Pro's all-star team is going to play Real Madrid at 9pm.  I predict a blood bath.



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Am I the only one who has bought a box of wine with a bag of quarters...at 11pm?


MOVIES

Almost exactly 100 years ago.

Doctor Zhivago was the best cinematographics in the business. I watched it again for the umpteenth time last night and just stared in awe at scenes like this.


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If you have never seen Seven Samurai, you really need to look into it.

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The way I would have written it.


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Russia has just renewed a longstanding contract with Hollywood to play the bad guys in all international spy thrillers for another 60 years.


PEOPLE DOING THINGS I CAN'T 
OR WON'T DO

I'll give you a minute to try and figure out what happens here.

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How clever.

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Flexibility is an oft overlooked trait.

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At least they tried to be original.

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The girl at the beginning peed in a glass then sets the glass on the bar.


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Eggs come out of the carton in alternate rows, buddy. Not all willy-nilly like some crazy person who hates America.


THINGS THAT CONFUSE ME

Yeah, that's cool and all, but why was a camera filming the whole thing? 
Stuff like that always gives me pause.
If it's legit, no need to tell me, I really don't care.

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Fucking PETA and their bullshit.

Here is what a sheared sheep looks like.

Or would you rather leave them like this.
When they fall over like that they can't even get back up.

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I have asked countless fans how they felt about letting a computer call balls and strikes.

To a man they are against it even when presented with evidence like this.
I can't believe the batter didn't swat the ump with the bat.
Question: Is there any other explanation for that strike call other than the normal way?

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Only 26 years...
And countless ruined lives.
But, hey, our privatized prisons are making money hand over fist.

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Steam train in China igniting particles coming out of the exhaust.
Very much like a chimney fire in a home fireplace...I think.

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Australian carrying wounded mate with a smile - Gallipoli – 1915 (colorized)
Strange place for a smile. Gallipoli was just about the biggest clusterfuck in war...second only to invading Russia in the winter. The troops were dropped off without water and were not resupplied.

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Reminds me of my youth...
But what's the upside? Aesthetics?


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 Call me old fashioned, but I will never cry in front of another man unless it's to get out of a wedding invitation.


HUMANS: THE CREATORS


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This is how I always saw ships in dry dock.

But this big bad boy looks like it just sits on its flat bottom. Could that be true?

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Don't laugh, it's a real thing.
Don't warm your leftover pizza in the microwave, soak them in egg and cream and make a bastardized French toast.

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I love clever ideas like this.

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People are still telling me that cigarette companies are putting chemicals on cigarettes to make them go out in the ashtray if you don't puff them regularly.
The truth is that the government made them stop making them so they will waste away if left unattended. That one alteration saved countless lives from couch fires.


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When I talk about getting my affairs in order before I die, I mean giving my side chicks some cash to tide them over.


THE HUMOROUS PART

Liars.

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Guilty.

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How we smoke fish down here in the South.
From the inside out.

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Today I've started a new section at the end of each Folio Olio post, and this almost made the cut for the first entry. I laughed out loud.
Imagine what that female dog is yelling at her boyfriend...go ahead, take your time.


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The most unbelievable thing about Die Hard is that the office Christmas Party is happening on Christmas Eve.


SCIENCE AND NATURE

Can't you just visualize that a million or so times bigger?

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Starlings are mesmerizing. 
As I understand it, there is no leader. The little bastards just do their thing, but together.

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I'd be afraid of a sinkhole.

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An experiment to see if you could hear German bombers on their way across the channel.

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Did you notice the widowed status is getting older and older.

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I think you deserve to see this again.
Did you notice that the white car cut the filming car off and was then sucked up to Oz?


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You can take one man's trash to another man's treasure, but you can't make it drink.

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In our attempts to ever improve Folio Olio, I have decided to break up my Things You Are Forbidden to Laugh At file into one in each daily post. This is the first.
And we don't even know who won. I really want to know.


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