One Of My Very Own
CHARIOTS OF FIRE
NEWSY BITS
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I made up a, what I call, 'purple prose' and am so proud of it I present it out of turn:
My wife is so old fashion that after sex she still likes for me to leave money on the dresser just like the good old days before we got married.
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My wife is on the snake diet. It's the one where she lies on the floor all day, eats 25% of her body weight, and hisses at anyone who comes near her.
THE OTHER KINGDOM
Despite all that, it must have some tough ass skin.
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I watched the film and they actually do that.
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"Something ducky going on here."
I'm pretty sure that makes you a Disney princess.
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Remember this - the monkey who photographed himself?
PETA argued that the monkey, and not the owner of the camera, owned the copyright on the picture. In a Monday settlement, the camera owner agreed to donate 25 percent of any future revenue on the photograph to charities that protect the monkeys.
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Halibut
But why does his little penis look so metallic?
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Good lord!
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Paradise flying snake
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My wife brought home thin sliced bacon and now I understand what it means when someone says they love you but aren't IN LOVE with you.
JUST PLAIN INTERESTING
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I would sure like to know how much pressure it took to compromise the bottle.
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Wow! Same principle as a roll top desk, only using one piece of wood
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The FDA Has Labeled Ecstasy A “Breakthrough Therapy” for PTSD
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Me and roads like this were meant for each other.
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McGyver for the win, Alex.
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The original DickButt?
Ok, actually it's called a fascinus.
In ancient Rome, the fascinus or fascinum was the personification of the 'divine phallus'. It was basically a reference to the deity himself (Fascinus), to phallus effigies and amulets, and to the spells used to invoke his divine protection.
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Not to brag but I taught 4th graders how to draw things like that.
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Works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year and doesn't need health insurance.
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I used to think that the present young adults were the Mars generation. Now I'm thinking it will be my 2 year old grandson's duty to do it.
Give this a minute.
"Hi, Mom, I'm fine."
"Go fuck your self."
"Leroy Jenkins was here."
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Before we got married I moved in with my present wife after only knowing her a month. People said we were rushing it, but we were both so in love with saving $600 a month.
LANGUAGE IS YOUR FRIEND
"The Absurd" refers to the conflict between the human tendency to seek inherent value and meaning in life and the human inability to find any.
The absurdist philosopher Albert Camus stated that individuals should embrace the absurd condition of human existence while also defiantly continuing to explore and search for meaning. Absurdism shares some concepts, and a common theoretical template, with existentialism and nihilism.
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Remembering our conversations about how things get named, I watch a documentary on the NSA data gathering, and then this...
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My wife is a total MILF - Mammal I've Learned to Fear.
YES, I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS
I can let domestic housing go. The fact that we are still building them the way we did thousands of years ago baffles me.
We stack rocks...
Manmade rocks of bricks mostly.
Or we affix lengths of wood together.
We use mostly 2x4s now, but it's the same principle.
I just can't understand why we can't come up with something cheap, non-flammable, attractive and satisfies all our living needs.
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Facetiously has all six vowels in order.
PEOPLE DOING THINGS I WOULDN'T
How exactly do you discover that you can do that?
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So it's come to this.
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The Isle of Man Tourist Trophy is perhaps the most dangerous race on earth, with 242 deaths in its 107 years of existence. The TT, as it is commonly known, is the oldest race in motorcycle history, uniting high-octane adrenaline junkies with fun loving drunken bikers.
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WASHINGTON — Late in the morning of the Tuesday that changed everything, Lt. Heather “Lucky” Penney was on a runway at Andrews Air Force Base and ready to fly. She had her hand on the throttle of an F-16 and she had her orders: Bring down United Airlines Flight 93. The day’s fourth hijacked airliner seemed to be hurtling toward Washington. Penney, one of the first two combat pilots in the air that morning, was told to stop it.
The one thing she didn’t have as she roared into the crystalline sky was live ammunition. Or missiles. Or anything at all to throw at a hostile aircraft.
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I may have posted that before. Sorry if I bore you.
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wife: Can you get a baking dish out of the cupboard?
me: Yep *Googles baking dish*
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The old man and the sea.
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The shortest book ever written:
Negroes I Have Met While Yachting.
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3 comments:
Do you think transabled people make transgender ppl less legitimate?
Ralph, a few years back, when I hunted 2-3 times a week, wearing an orange hat, hummingbirds would buzz by me many, many times. On one occasion it cost me a shot. Today, I still wear an orange hat, but I only wear it when I am walking to and from my deer stand.-Mel
Hah, TT footage always reminds me of Hunter S. Thompson's Song of the Sausage Creature about a Ducati SuperSport:
http://www.latexnet.org/~csmith/sausage.html
The closing para:
"That is the attitude of the new-age superbike freak, and I am one of them. On some days they are about the most fun you can have with your clothes on. The Vincent just killed you a lot faster than a superbike will. A fool couldn't ride the Vincent Black Shadow more than once, but a fool can ride a Ducati 900 many times, and it will always be a bloodcurdling kind of fun. That is the Curse of Speed which has plagued me all my life. I am a slave to it. On my tombstone they will carve, "IT NEVER GOT FAST ENOUGH FOR ME."
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