About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

TUESDAY #3407

One Of My Very Own

EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

Nabi Tajima, the last surviving person born in the 19th century, just died at age 117.
You saw an entire century, from the Wright brothers to the moon landing; both world wars; and the discovery of cures for man diseases.
Goodbye noble person.




FUN WITH LANGUAGE

And the sign is permanent.

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My favorite that I will never forget - Fireworks, TV Repair, Notary Public, Live Bait
I put it in a novel. The clerk's conversation with the customer went something like this:
Live bait?
They all died.
Fireworks?
Only during holidays.
TV Repair?
It's his day off.
Notary Public?
We only put that on the sign to draw in customers.
Does it work?
You're the third one today.

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I mean that.

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How very true.

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"Remember, you will die."

(I wonder how many people know where I got that.)

Here's a few clues...





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"It's not about how tired you are. It's about how tired you're making everyone else." - Me explaining bedtime to my kids.

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FORKLIFTS...YES, FORKLIFTS







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I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

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I wonder if my foreign viewers will get this.


The Digital Distopias of Mike "Beeple" Winkleman











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Having passsed 70 years old, if I could give my younger self one piece of advice, it would be to say "fuck off" much more frequently.

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PEOPLE DOING THINGS I CAN'T OR WON'T


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A viewer found this and wondered if it was one of mine.
It is my kind of humor, but I usually put those little line to indicate who is speaking. So I don't know.

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Yeah, well I poked myself in the eye blowing my nose this morning.


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What an amazing power, knowing one picture of your boobs will make someone's day.

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Collection of Jackie Chan's Worst Injuries


Suffered severe burns over his entire body. Burned all the skin off of the palm of his hands.

Severe laceration to the back of his head.

Missed the stunt glass and accidentally dove through real glass. Suffered severe cuts to his face and hands.


Broken nose

Broken ankle

Multiple broken ribs, Severe concussion.


This injury is different because it was intentional. Jackie wanted to fall on real flaming coals instead of a fake prop. Suffered severe burns on the back of both legs, ass cheeks, lower back, and on his palms.

Spinal damage, dislocated hip.

Hit by helicopter, torn shoulder ligaments, Jackie was stuck hanging until his team helped cut him down.

Jackie Chan's worst injury. Long distance fall after tree branch snapped when he tried to catch it. Suffered brain damaged and required brain surgery. To this day he has a plastic plug inside his skull. This is the closest Jackie Chan has come to death.

Courageous actor or dumb ass. You decide. 


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Nice recovery.

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