About Me

My photo
I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, May 11, 2018

FRIDAY #3424

One Of My Very Own

EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

NEWSY BITS






ORDINARY RESPONSES TO THE HUMAN CONDITION

I wonder how many men have gotten caught looking a porn like that.

===0===


===0===

This guy can defend himself with his mind.
WITH HIS MIND!!!

And so this guy said...

===0===

When my Dad was an infant he was dressing in a long skirt of a thing. When my grandmother had to step outside for a minute to hang out clothes or whatever, she would lift up the foot of the bed and bring it down on the bottom of that outfit he wore. Then she would put honey on all of his fingertips and hand him a feather. As he picked the feather off one finger it would stick to another, entertaining himself for quite some time.

===0===


===0===

"Oopsy, Daisy."

===0===

Pope looks as if he caught the mosquito that kept him awake during the night. 

===0===

I remember my embarrassment when I found out these kids are researching Night Watch on their phones. I had belittled them for checking Facebook while in the same room with the masterpiece.

===0===

I don't even know the rules, but I assume he did something good.

===0===

Yeah, but I'm thinking that is completely staged just for the thrill of it all.

===0===

On having breasts...

===0===

Cry Closet at the University of Utah.
What the fuck are we doing with the old survival of the fittest?

===0===

What it is is Cycle Ball.
There sure are a lot of people in the stands for such a sport.

===0===

How wonderful.


<>
Most people on the internet love expressing their outrage about current events but I just came here for the porn.

<>


WHAT IT WAS BACK WHEN

Carts removing tons of snow after a blizzard in NYC in 1899.

===0===

I wrote a novel about that very thing. Only the train skidded downhill and jumped the rails when it came to a turn.

===0===

A German bottle of heroin sold by the company Bayer (which is still a major company making drugs). It would be sold in pharmacies in the late 1800s.

===0===

Actress Alice Granville shows off two bullet holes in her arm at Roosevelt Hospital after she was shot by her hitman husband, a lieutenant for the notorious gangster Dutch Schultz, in NYC, US in 1931.

===0===

Aliens would classify Earth as the planet of the Tardigrades.

===0===


===0===

A Finnish soldier with a Reindeer near the tiny village of Nautsi in northern Lapland, Finland, in 1941.
Imagine a situation so dire that the ONLY alternative you can think of is to sacrifice hundreds of thousands of your sons. That's war.

A soldier that was part of the unit known as the Harlem Hellfighters poses with his mother in NYC, US in 1918 after losing his leg in France during WWI.
And even after all that he was forbidden entry to stores, shops, and restaurants. One of our darkest hours.


<>
Love means never having to say she's ugly.

<>


PRANKING DONE RIGHT


===0===


===0===


===0===


===0===

I wrote a novel about that very thing also. They used that trick for the day the Pope came to town.

===0===


===0===


===0===



<>
The road to emotional stability is paved with weight gain.

<>


IMAGES AND OBJECTS  ON WHICH TO DWELL

See anything odd?

The top one was said to be upside down, but I find both of them problematic.

===0===

Holy shit!

===0===

I read that what "tells" it to wrap around the stick is that contact retards growth on that side of the vine, thus causing it to twist like that.

===0===

Looks like that tree in Avatar.

===0===

I hear fundamentalists proclaim that god gave us the perfect home...planet Earth. But as far as I can tell, it has countless ways to kills us.

Example #2


<>
Have you ever eaten chicken wings for breakfast?

<>


SWEDISH DESIGNER DANIEL CARLMATZ















And...
What's the punchline?

Walked in for a haircut and got punched in the jaw.

Punchline.



<>
Why do blind people walk dogs so much?

<>


<>

===0===


Kitchen Edition

===0===


===0===

I think him being mounted on a mouse trap would be funnier.

===0===



===0===


===0===


===0===


No comments:

Random Post

Random Posts Widget

Blog Archive