FRIDAY #3431

One Of My Very Own

EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

NEWSY BITS

My wife with a man named Smith.

He's running for governor. He is a very nice man. He helped my wife on many volunteer projects and even handled legal work pro bono. He when war broke out after 9/11 he requested and was granted permission to transfer from the Army's lawyer corps to infantry. 

His running mate for Lieutenant Governor is a delightful woman who used one of my murals as the backdrop for one of her promo images.

Now I have a story.

That man in the mural was the first images on the mural, and when it first appeared he was proud that I had including him. Then I painted the black woman next to him and he threatened to sue me for using his image. One morning very, very early I added several inches to his belly making him look fat.

Finally came upon an image of that most delightful young black woman that works for Mattel's Barbie division.

And yes, that is a tux jacket I'm wearing.

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It's about fucking time.

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*MNBT

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*MNBT

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*MNBT

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By now you probably all know this jerk off.

Here's what the internet has done:

"It's only been a few hours since this ignorant twat waffle went viral for assaulting a restaurant staff member for their staff speaking Spanish to customers. It took the army of the internet a mere hour to track down his identity, and over the next 3hrs, hilarity ensued."

"In mere hours, the internet retaliated. His company has recently upgraded from practicing law to becoming a Spanish restaurant.. and his website URL has been... Improved." 

"And lastly, the overwhelming satisfied customer confessions and reviews. "

Severe price to pay for one lapse. May his girlfriend just dumped him or he lost a trial he cared passionately about.

UPDATE!!!

Well, come to find out this guy has a long history of elitism and yes he deserves all the hate we can muster. Fuck people like him.
Anybody who thinks their take on morals is THE take on morals is a danger to us all. I like to think that my changing my mind on issues throughout my life is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of growth. And all you people out there who think you have it all figured out...YOU DON'T.

TAKING A WALK ON THE ABSURD SIDE

I am a lover of the absurd. The more absurd the better. After I finished this post I realized that there are other items that could easily fit in the section. See if you can spot them.

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Many images came for The Onion, The Daily Mash and other sites dedicated to the absurd.

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You can just tell that she's the type of mom to buy off-brand cereal.

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The most absurd thing in the world.

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FOOT MASSAGE?!?!

Hahahahahahahaha!

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THERE ARE MANY ABSURD CARTOONS

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Humans: That made me puke. I'll never do that again! 

Dogs: That made me puke. I'm gonna get into it every day this week!

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ANOTHER ATTEMPT AT HUMOR

"Let's get illuminaughty."

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Comment left on that tear jerker: "I too got bored enough in a dentist office to peruse a Reader's Digest from 1956."

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I saw this and now you have to see it too.

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What it's like to live in Oklahoma.

And...

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How do you train a horse to do that?

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COWORKER RECENTLY OUT OF THE HOSPITAL: I blew a tire on a mountain road and crashed thru the guardrail, rolling end over end down a cliff into a creek. I was trapped for hours upside-down & near death until a man walking his dog found me and called 911.

ME: What kind of dog was it?

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WHEN THINGS GO WRONG

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This has 'Don't do it' screaming from every great big pixel.

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Piranha looks so...ordinary.

That would be much more impressive if that had been a screwdriver or nail.

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What goes around comes around.

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That actually doesn't look all that dangerous.

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What are the chances...

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I was on the train. You were running for the train. Our eyes met. You reached out to me as the doors were closing, but the train pulled away. Please contact me. I have your left hand.

(think absurd)

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LET'S LEARN SOME THINGS

Shuttlecock perfectly balanced.

Who knew?

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Elephant slinging shit...

And not only that, he's a pretty good aim.

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When the interviewer asks why you should be picked over the other applicants. 

The clerk doesn't look all that impressed.

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This is one of those things that you can't look at just once...

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I used to have an Evening Primrose in my backyard. The flowers pop open from that bud in the upper right to a full flower in about one second.

I thought that gif showed that, but it doesn't.

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What It Is Is Hyperrealism

I like the last one...taking it to another level.

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New Zealand's Mount Taranaki has an incredibly neat base.

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"Do you really think I don't know I'm an idiot?"

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On one of our roadtrips we saw this gassing up in a station and I talked to the guy a couple of minutes.

Most impressive.

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Do you suppose they first practice that with a cool pot with water and pebbles or whatever in it?

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I'm thinking it's inflated but not sure.

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Water-droplet animation.

Wow!

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Baby blender?

No, it's for pediatric chest X rays.

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Most countries have something similar.

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No horror movie will ever be as scary as the sight of the water going up instead of down when I flush the toilet.

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