One Of My Very Own
I once got a role in a porno.
I was the spouse at work.
HUMP DAY HUMOR ATTEMPTS
*And that one prick said I wasn't near clever enough...HA!
*I am assuming that is a joke.
This guy's toast was burned even though he had bought his mother a toaster and he needed an explanation...
Well, that was unexpected...
I haven't a clue.
That's actually not a bad idea.
The mishap transcends ethnicity.
Watch very carefully.
Would someone like to try explaining that to me?
Maybe a haunted house? That would explain the camera.
Willy Wonka was the original Hunger Games.
BUT SERIOUSLY FOLKS
At least it was a quick death.
Do you remember me asking you to invent a country from scratch? Well, let's revisit that.
I'm thinking various dots on the top or bottom or both could multiply each number by a factor of ten.
This from a nurse: "It gets worse than that. The same unvaccinated people scream at us for not giving them the same treatments Trump got until they die."
Only an idiot would refuse life-saving treatment. There are 75 million idiots in this country, officially as of 2021.
Well, those dead unvaccinated people got covid from someone just as stupid as they. At this point it's not suicide - it's also murder.
This is a craftsman in every sense of the word...
A beehive replaces the statue's head...
This keyed switch is being installed in a new school so kids can't turn lights on and off.
Different channels showing different advertisements.
Does anybody know why cops touch cars when they approach?
There were two theories in the comments: to get rid of static electricity and to put fingerprints on the vehicle to identify it if things go south.
That is the perfect segue to the next section.
Arugula is a superfood because it's delicious, good for your bones, and reminds me of an old-fashioned car horn.
If I'm not mistaken this is illegal and for just cause.
Never in the history of bumper stickers has anyone anywhere read one and changed their minds. But that doesn't seem to matter.
Is there an OSHA for livestock?
When The Traffic Jam Is Actually A Parked Car
That happens much more often than I would have thought possible. Who do you blame?
Russian man sneaking out police van.
Your license should be immediately suspended if you get run over by your own car.
"God, give me a sign..."
It could have been worse.
I painted my first large-scale mural in 1976. It was partially paid for by an NEA grant that was voted on by Gregory Peck.
It depicts old people and young people, men and women, and black people and white people all walking forward together.
Each of those people lived in that town. I photographed them as they walked across the street on the way to the post office. When the white man on the extreme right saw that I placed him next to a black woman he threatened to sue me. I went back at night and added several inches of fat to his belly.
But wait, there's more...
Directly around the corner of the building, I painted the entire city block. Moving from left to right it depicts the youngest citizen (photographed in the delivery room days before) through the life stages to end up with the oldest citizen photographed in a retirement home.
Before beginning, I went to a trusted paint store and asked them for any and all advice they could give me. After me describing what I had to do they suggested I buy the best cut brushes money could buy. A cut brush is used to get a crisp edge to the shapes painted. After 45 years I still have a dozen or so of those brushes.
What makes them so good is their "exploded tip" that has each fiber split into three or four strands right at the end - like split ends in women's hair.
They also strongly urged me to buy two 2-gallon plastic buckets. I have used them for 45 years also.
But the best tip they gave me concerned these hooks to attach a bucket to the ladder. You simply can't paint murals without these hooks.
After 30 years the town called me back to refurbish that first mural. This time I stipulated that I be provided with a motorized lift and with it, my crew and I finished in a weekend what originally took months.