MONDAY #4709

One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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 A COUPLE OF NEW DOLLAR ART PIECES

I've found where I can buy test tubes relatively cheap. I like preserving bills in test tubes. It's like each bill deserves protection...special.

So I acquired a big stack of two-dollar bills, set up my worktable with a good view of the game, and got to work.

Each bill was folded precisely before rolling and inserting in the test tube.

The way I folded them yielded a full face of Thomas Jefferson.

Then I fucked up - twice. The first mistake was ordering the wrong size very expensive drill bit. The stats on the test tubes said that the outside measurement was 13mm but a 13mm bit was much too large and the test tubes wobbled.

The next mistake was that I misplaced the third hole even though I was using a drill press (see above). It could not be corrected. So, I just drilled holes more or less at random as long as they were about 3/4" apart.

Then I noticed that if the baseboard was jiggled the test tubes danced. I made a frame to allow it to move and added thousands of BBs for a smooth movement.

And this is the result.

I call it MARCHING JEFFERSONS.

Then I ordered more test tubes.

Then I folded and rolled the bills to show the other side of the bill.

The side with this guy sitting down.

So, with another game on the TV, I rolled another hundred of them.

I punched a starter hole in the top of the wooden countersink buttons that fit perfectly in the test tubes.

I had to be very careful because those things split very easily.

Into the starter hole, I screwed a tiny screw eye.

Then I glued the button into the test tube.

I then through the screw eye I tacked the test tubes onto a wooden rod and mounted the rod in my screened-in porch.

I really hate that they all don't hang at the same angle.

I call it...

...for obvious reasons.

Each test tube is positioned to show this guy.

LATER: But now I am toying with disassembling both of those after I devised another hanging method.

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I don’t care how bad my relationship is going. I will never call a radio station for advice.

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*I found that very, very clever.

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PONDERABLES

They want us at each other's throats so we will leave them alone. And their plan is working perfectly.

^^A1^^

I call those Formula Plots and I consider them extremely lazy. Sadly, most movies nowadays are Formula Plots.

^^A2^^

Fuck Elon Musk.

^^A3^^

Yep, they are getting desperate.

But can you imagine anyone thinking that getting a buzz on at night will be detrimental to your burger-flipping the next day?

^^A4^^

Damaged? We came very close to losing our form of governance.

This is the Italian translator listening to our last two presidents.

I want to remind you of a very interesting analysis of the Trump Cultists. The man said that these misguided souls KNOW that Trump is not very smart, that he lies even when he doesn't have to, that he uses comical bottled tan, and that he is rude to the point obnoxiousness. Not only do they KNOW it but those traits are WHY they like him. He has proved by all those things that he is one of them.

^^A5^^

^^A6^^

When talking to a modern-day conservative, it is as if they turn every discussion about any topic into an argument about how much money it will cost them. It's like money is their God.

^^A7^^

He said it much better than I but I have been preaching that for decades. College is not about learning a bunch of facts. College is about having every value you hold dear challenged. It's called critical thinking skills and it's almost impossible to develop on your own.

^^A8^^

And...

^^A9^^

When I first started blogging some very strange things happened. I got these weird comments that I couldn't understand so I asked my young friends at my bar what was going on. To a man, they took one look and simply said, "Troll." I didn't know what a troll was and they explained that there were people who really got off on fucking with other people. I'm pretty good a spotting them now but my blog is not the problem. The problem is that today in America there are millions of people who BELIEVE the trolls. Democrats eating babies might be the most absurd troll assertion, but things like "vaccines make you sterile", "masks do more harm than good", and "horse dewormer will keep covid at bay" are flat out dangerous. It's like many people have a powerful hunger to know things that other people do not know. Unfortunately, most of these things are just flat-out bullshit.

^^A10^^

Twitter is great because you can say dumb stuff like “a pirate is just a wet cowboy” and thousands of strangers will agree with you.

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GET LEARNT

We have all seen this training plane that mimics zero gravity...

But what do we make of this?

Anybody?

^^B1^^

Have you ever wondered how they make these huge vases?

As an ex-potter, I found this amazing.

VIDEO LINK

^^B2^^

Another how-to video...

I never knew there were so many steps involved.

This video explains it all:

VIDEO LINK

^^B3^^

Shark with a propeller fetish?

^^B4^^

On August 23, 1989, about 2 million people from Latvia, Estonia, and Lithuania formed a human chain that united all 3 countries to show the world their desire to escape the Soviet Union and the communism that brought only suffering and poverty.

Nobody wants communism. But for the same reasons, nobody wants fascism. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

^^B5^^

"Guangzhou Circle, China. Offices of a chemical company, It represents a jade "Bi Disc" first made in 3400 BC and the reflection is a lucky 8."

*That's goddamn amazing!

^^B6^^

Excavadora rotativa

There are places where you are allowed to rip the top off of mountains but before you do you have to scrape off the topsoil, then when the work is completed you have to replace the topsoil and replant the trees. I find that laudable.

^^B7^^

That must be a very special horse.

Of course, I think all horses are special.

^^B8^^

Okay, that's cool as shit...sincerely, but don't you think he could have found a better cube than that sloppy-ass cardboard thing he used?

^^B9^^

I was supposed to be abducted in ‘03 but my chain wallet got caught on a fire hydrant and they beamed up the squirrel I was feeding instead. God speed tiny ambassador of earth.

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WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT

Questions: Did that horse just crash through the fence?

Do you think the tortoise bit the horse on his nose?

I wonder if the dog knows how lucky it was to survive.

^^C1^^

My 6-year-old grandson was amazed to learn we used to navigate using maps made out of paper. 

"You mean like pirates?!?!" he screamed.

^^C2^^

Said while that older son is wearing jewelry that cost more than my car.

^^C3^^

At one point toward the end, it looks like it is flowing uphill

^^C4^^

Which is worse?

Or...

^^C5^^

Owl pranking eagles in the dark.

I'm thinking the owl is checking to see if there are chicks in the nest for later scavaging.

^^C6^^

Would you like for bathing ladies to dress like our ancestors?

Well, maybe...

^^C7^^

^^C8^^

Her tiny little smile.

^^C9^^

How not to act at a Holocaust Memorial

^^C10^^

Fast and Finland

I found the proximity of barely under control speeding cars and spectators terrifying.

VIDEO LINK

^^C11^^

I used to camp wearing leggings just like his.

^^C12^^

I told my grandson that this was Jeff Bezos.

He said, "Cool."

^^C13^^

I would volunteer just so I could add Toad Patrol to my résumé.

^^C14^^

^^C15^^

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28 ¶ If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; 29 Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

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I've spotted the one with a buttplug.

BTW: My wife and I were watching the end of the Tampa Bay football game because we had made a wager. Tom Brady threw for yet another interception and was sitting on the bench with his head down. My wife asked, "Is he crying?" I said, "The rule is that every time you throw an interception you have a buttplug shoved up your ass." Minutes later Brady walked back on the field and I said, "See how he's walking? It's because of that buttplug." She looked very closely at the TV - horrified, then asked, "Are you lying to me?" And I said, "I would never lie to you, darling."

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Is that presenting?

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