About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Friday, September 16, 2022

FRIDAY #5014

One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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PONDERABLES


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Every religion I know teaches that loving money will keep you from reaping the rewards that religion offers. Yet here in America we worship capital.

cap·i·tal: wealth in the form of money or other assets owned by a person or organization or available or contributed for a particular purpose such as starting a company or investing.

^^A1^^

The last time I was in a church the pastor wore a huge robe tied at the waist with a hemp rope. This medieval cosplay bullshit made me laugh out loud.

As soon as I got home I installed "12 ½ FEET GOOD HEMP ROPE" just to remind me of my merriment that day.

It hangs in a place of prominence, impossible to ignore by our infrequent guests. 

I made the brass plague myself and didn't have room for the "Good".


^^A2^^

^^A3^^

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It has never been explained to me why conservatives hate ALL change and/or ideas that vary from their own myopic world view and it doesn't matter what it is - hair lengths, pants style, tattoos, piercings, acceptance of gay people, interracial marriage, music, language, religion, etc., etc. Please, someone, explain to me why change could be considered a bad thing when it's the ONLY thing guaranteed to occur.

^^A4^^

^^A5^^

^^A6^^

^^A7^^

^^A8^^

I have often advocated erecting a statue of him in every capital of the world.

^^A9^^

^^A10^^

Nazis in America...today.
^^A11^^

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To make it more fun, GPS in cars should use the Getting Warmer, Getting Colder method.

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In the early days, I hoped to make a living out of what I did best. But since there's no real market for masturbation I had to fall back on my mural painting abilities.

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PEOPLE


If I was a fashion designer...

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^^B1^^

Speaking of fashion...

^^B2^^

Remember this girl with an awesome arm?

Here's the guy who paid extra for the front row seat to make sure he got a T-shirt...

^^B3^^

Now she's been upstaged.

Did you notice her pro-release where the ball barely goes farther back than her ear?

^^B4^^

Speaking of throwing things...

I don't think I've ever been that angry.

^^B5^^

I was going to remind you that her next is not lengthened but her collarbone is greatly depressed, then I noticed her feet.

^^B6^^

Speaking of feet...

^^B7^^

^^B8^^

Coming soon to an Olympics near you.

^^B9^^

^^B10^^

Me greeting my students when I had a massive hangover...

^^B11^^

^^B12^^

A rare picture of Marvin before his...accident...

^^B13^^

After teaching young children and watching them grow up for 25 years I can state without reservation that that child will grow up to be a beautiful woman.

^^B14^^

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There's nothing like packing up for a move to make you never want to own an earthly possession ever again. 

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*Ladies, you could use that line to get rid of that guy hitting on you in the bar.

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Excuse me, do y'all smoke?

Smoke what?

*You've found the stoner.

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PLACES


A photographer shot a collection of images of abandoned buildings in small towns.

The same buildings we saw thousands of during our road trips.

During many of his forays, he ventured inside.

When I use the term "preserving artifacts" this is precisely what I'm talking about. Had I been there I would have left with every pull handle, hinge, and doorknob...and that decorative trim above the window.

^^C1^^

I had to look mine up.

Anita Zucker, chairperson of Hudson Bay Company

^^C2^^

Those zany Icelanders.

^^C3^^

He prefers to sit by himself on the bus, so...

They figure only a creep would do that.

^^C4^^

No need to call the cable company, I can just do it myself...

^^C5^^

If the internet is any indication, that happens much too often. Surely they could install a sensor BEFORE they turned it on.

^^C6^^

Yeah, I fell for it also.

^^C7^^

Speaking of warehouses...

Did you notice that he was sound asleep?

^^C8^^

Not to worry, he stages things like that to send to his wife when it's his day to watch the kid.

^^C9^^

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Guys who are into women who just turned 18 are like bosses who pay their employees minimum wage. Sure, it's "legal" but we know if it wasn't for the law they would be going lower.

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I'm so tired of fake robocalls, but I would give anything for a real robot to call me, even just for a few minutes.

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THINGS


I would install the electric wire at ball sack level.

^^D1^^

"It's a bird! It's a plane!"

"It's a truck! It's a boat!"

^^D2^^

Do you think it's an actual statue or a painted human?

I'm going with a human due to the cup.

^^D3^^

EVERYTIME there was a change to food there will be people decrying it.

"SALT ON MEAT?! That's awful!"

"You want to BOIL the tea leaves then drink the water?!?"

"What do you mean you don't eat the brains?! That's the best part."

^^D4^^

^^D5^^

What a marvelous idea!

^^D6^^

*MNBT

^^D7^^

Breathtakingly beautiful.

^^D8^^

People and Bears

I've shown you that one before, but what about this next idiocy?

The Bear and The Tourists

^^D9^^

Hornet Defense

The sound of that pot!

^^D10^^


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Women seem to have a thing against fruit.

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3 comments:

Anonymous said...

puzzle time:
"Nippleback"...a play on the band Nickleback. The face in the picture is a band member.

Anonymous said...

A11: What rock did you have to look under to find that? Besides, it looks like Israel.

Burgervan said...

WOMEN YOUNGER THAN MY WIFE: Only fruit that doesn't "Fit". Hahaha

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