One Of My Very Own
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PONDERABLES
Have you ever noticed that really smart men have long white beards?
Just another tax-exempt church keeping separate.
Oh, look, we found the racist fuck.
I'm really disappointed that Uncle Joe didn't get to the bottom of this.
While the world fight authoritarians half of Americans embrace it.
One of the most difficult questions I was ever asked during a critique of my paintings was "Why did you paint that?"
*Viewer Contribution
Of all the people who have ever lived, I would like to meet the person who named the flip-flop.
If your news anchor is emotionally outraged you aren't watching the news, you are watching propaganda.
HUMAN ODDITIES
And of all the things they could have written...
I have no clue as to what's going on.
Ice or boulders?
????
Do you think the person on top has to climb hammock to hammock?
My wife and I were just talking about the time I called my home insurance company because a two-foot diameter limb fell out of a tree and knocked my back porch off my house and the guy in India kept telling me that they wouldn't pay for "picking limbs up out of my yard". After 20 minutes I told him it wasn't a limb but rather a tree that fell and he sent an adjuster immediately. On the upside, the insurance van arrived the next day and it had a complete office in the back complete with a computer, printer, etc, and he printed me a check within minutes.
Do you know how mad you have to be to carry off a goddamn refrigerator?
*Viewer contribution
*MNBT
Dress “spray painted” on model
When I saw that I thought about how terrifying it would be if someone with a gun broke into my home with the intent of killing me. Then I thought about a guy like the one above. He breaks into some guy's house. Both are armed. And they stalk each other until one of them is dead.
Undergoing that kind of stress every day must take a terrible toll.
This is where your donated hair goes.
Here is another woman who made herself ugly with a tattoo...according to a viewer.
I like tattoos because the Bible forbids them.
"Rub a little dirt on it, son."
Cuban migrants survive Hurricane Ian and make it to Florida.
*Verification Requested
And now, a brief musical intermission.
I once had a girl I was hitting on tell me she loved me like a brother which was great because she was from Alabama.
I always like to wear flip-flops with the thong between the second and third toe just to freak people out.
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT
Landscapes are supposed to be hung with the horizon at eye level. True.
^^C1^^
I bet those things injured more of our guys than the enemy.
But of course, some of the peelings could have been done by an artist.
My guess is that three guys share that apartment.
As a reformed coin stacker, I like the use of the toothpick.
"Hey, guys, watch this. I'm going to bet my life that it jumps over there and not on top of me. Why? So I can take some cool photographs."
Because, you know, the world can't get too many pictures of whales jumping out of water.
When Hurricane Hugo went right over my house with 100mph winds I took the precaution of parking my car right next to the wall of my house and my wife's car next to the wall on the other side of the house since we didn't know which way the wind would be blowing. Both survived.
That's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.
I wonder if it's round(ish) due to animals with antlers.
This rug has seen some shit...
Do you think they spilled printer toner on it?
One highly motivated dog...
The other dog not so much.
Kinetic sculpture "Round Table" by Choe U-Ram
Battery life at 200%
That's amazing.
Pennywise got his name because he's very financially savvy. He lives in a sewer to avoid paying rent and eats children instead of buying groceries.
I've had hundreds of men ask me how I got a wife like that (meaning beautiful) and I always look them right in the eye and say, "I have an eight-inch dick that's as big around as a tuna can and sensitive as hell".
JUST THE FACTS, MA'AM
Think literature.
3 comments:
PUZZLE TIME: Mordor She Wrote.
Just above "A":
"Have you ever noticed that really smart men have long white beards?"
No, I have not. Most really smart people don't have beards at all.
After a brief search on the inter-web for geniuses I would estimate that about 5% of the "really smart men" have/had beards, and that about 20% of those beards are white.
Dear Beard Hating Asshole, I don't believe you.
RH
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