WENESDAY #5523

 One Of My Very Own

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NOTE: Helpful viewers have sent me selfies that I will use in OOMVOs. I'm having fun with them already and you are all encouraged to let me use your face also.

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PART ONE

Tardigrade Tax

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There's a honeymoon story in there someplace.

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This kid's going places...

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I could have used this image when I was making my building box.

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I talked to a guy who was hired to sit on one of those for hours. The dozer was used to break up compacted soil and was guided by a laser. When he got to the end of a row his job was to stop the dozer, move the laser over, turn the dozer around and let the laser on the other side of the field guide him back. Well, he fell asleep and ran over the laser resulting in instant termination.

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Well, duh!

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*I call her The World's Worst Teacher.

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PART TWO

Coming to a town near you!

Please allow me to tell you my favorite story again for the benefit of my new viewers.

My wife and I were in our hot tub during a lunar eclipse and I asked what percentage of people had ever seen a lunar eclipse. She guessed 80%. Then I asked how many people had watched a lunar eclipse from a hot tub and she guessed 1%. Then she lifted me above the water line and asked, "How many people have watched a lunar eclipse while in a hot tub getting a blow job?" And I replied, "I'm the only one!"

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This took me longer than I care to admit.

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That is truly a wonder.

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"Let's fuck with the apex predator." Bird probably.

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There is no reason to doubt that dinosaurs were that clever.

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Like a glove.

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Somebody told me that doing that with your head keeps you from getting dizzy.

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I used one (1) gas pump that had CNN on a screen on the pump while I pumped. Then never saw such a thing again. I wonder why.

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PART THREE

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I almost put that in Puzzle Time but I deemed it too easy.

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I taught many a European lass how to play strip poker.

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Dick Pinch

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Technology

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Knitter

I bet there is someone who can knit with both hands at once.

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Language

I feel that way about both of my children...honestly.

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