AMUSING ITEMS SENT BY READERS

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My nephew sent this to me in real time from his phone...

Seriously delayed and bored.
This woman is across the aisle from me.
While writing this message I overheard the guy next to me telling someone on the phone that the illegal weapons charges against him were dropped.
He just asked me to watch his stuff while he went to take a piss.

(thanks Scott W)
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A joke concerning the problem with assuming correct punctuation, from Susan B, a retired English teacher:

"How many drinks does it take to make you dizzy?"

"Two, but my name is Daisy."

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Well, there's your problem...

( thanks Bruce K and Samuel A)

In a massive survey concerning sex, the researchers listed 41 different ways people have sex with each other. They also revealed that 85% of men claimed that they gave their partner an orgasm during their latest sexual event.  Whereas only 64% of women said they achieved orgasm during their most recent sexual encounter.

(now I'm no mathematician, but......also.....................only 41?)

( thanks Stephen B)

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( thanks Ruth G)

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( thanks Elena K)

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( thanks Anthony K)

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( thanks Antonin S)

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 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!       ( thanks Sonia S)

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Thorazine suppositories?!?!   I mean, DAMN!  I'm thinking that in the future people will look on our age and gasp at the antibiotics and growth hormones that we eat in our food.

( thanks Clarence T)

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This is difficult, but not impossible...

(thanks Matthew)

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(thanks Mark)

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I asked the cowboy why he chose this particular dog and he said that when he first became a cowboy, all the other cowboys told him to.................."Get along little doggie".

(thanks Luke)

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(thanks John)

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This is brilliant.  It rolls, it won't leak, it holds a lot of ice, it's the perfect size for a keg. If it had a drainage plug (which I bet it does) it would be perfect.

(thanks Andrew)

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COLLEGE: Yeah, we all remember the same thing, don't we?

(thanks Simon)

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So, why aren't stoners doing the same thing for herb? Come on you bastards, get a spine!!!!

(thanks Philip)

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Further evidence of the conspiracy to create a One World Government...THOSE BASTARDS!!!

(thanks James)

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Common image that might take a second look...Highlight for answer [ a dalmatian middle right ]

(thanks Thaddaeus)

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(thanks Bartholomew)

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One of my very own...

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Interesting this: My wife came home from work and found an ambulance in the front of our house.  Upon examination she found that there were no personnel in the truck. Then she saw two EMT's coming from around the side of my house rolling a gurney. She freaked, of course, but they were looking for another address.  How fucking terrifying is that?  I mean, she is married to a man who invented prolonged abuse of one's body and then that....DAMN!!!!

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I need images...forward me whatever you get...pleeeeeeeze.  And leave a comment if you would like. I like comments.
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