LIONS AND TIGERS AND BEARS OH MY

Very fast emptying of the animal file today...been busy.
But at least I can start off with a riddle.

(answer at end of post)

ELEPHANTS

Well, there's your problem...

Dear genitals,
Thanks for not bleeding every month. You're the best.
Sincerely, a man.

LIONS AND TIGERS

Dead girls never say no.

DOGS

Is there an explanation to this photo?

The smartest dog in the meadow....

TRUE: The vast majority of people struck by lightning survive.

It wasn't me...

Is a spat between two vegetarians still called a beef?

DOLPHIN

Did you know that dolphins' have penises about the size of yours?

Brain fart?

What about no?

(I know that's not a dolphin)


Imagine living with 3 wives in one compound and never leaving the house for 5 years. It is now believed that Bin Laden called the Navy Seals himself.

BEARS

This is kind of cool. The bears gorge themselves, then lay on the bank and nap, then start all over again. Except for this gal, she just nodded off right in the river.

There's a Can you hear me now joke in there somewhere...

Tranquilized bear refuses to cooperate...

If that was me, that fence would have to be like one million volts...

Fuck normality.

SQUIRRELS

The lover...

 The fighter....

HOW TO SHUT ME UP: I was waiting for the soccer game to start Saturday at my favorite bar. There wasn't anyone there but me so the waitress sat down on a bar stool, so I asked, "Are you a soccer fan?"
She said, "No, but my boyfriend is. He's very smart and knows a lot."
"Knows a lot about what," I asked.
Then she leaned over and actually whispered to me, "He knows who really killed Kennedy."

APES

Because I said so, that's why...

This is that bad boy who walks around everywhere just like a human. I can only assume he has a mutated pelvis or something....

Go the fuck to sleep....

If Plan A fails, remember that you have 25 letters left.

BIRDS

You will never be as cool as this woman....

TOONS OF THE DAY ABOUT ANIMALS....

 If you don't know what this is, it's okay, it really is...

The only One of my very own even remotely concerning animals....

WOMEN WHO LIKE TO TOUCH THEIR BUTTS,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHY....