FOLIO OLIO: BOYS WILL BE BOYS

If a woman related one of these encounters to friends, she would probably use the word "terrifying".

When a man does the same he would use the word "awesome".

You have a right to your opinion, and I have a right to tell you how fucking stupid it is.

When men don't find themselves in dangerous situations by chance, they orchestrate the dangerous situations, while other casual men stand around in ugly shorts and say, "Awesome".

I had a girlfriend once who was such a slut she had a permanent impression of my belt buckle in her forehead.
She really knew how to turn my floppy disk into a hard drive, if you know what I mean. She only had 16 teeth...all of them molars.

Even non-professionals can create stimulating dangous situations by merely uttering the words "Come on, ya'll let's out stupid each other".

I saw a man in a restaurant wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger and drinking a glass of milk. Well.....???

This man probably hasn't thrown an axe in his life, but his buddy threw one without killing anyone, so.....out stupid one another....(notice more casual guys in shorts watching)

I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling.
I'm addicted to sitting in a semicircle.

These men are playing that game in the Harry Potter films.

They are very disappointed that they can't fly, thus elevating the danger level...

To a man, straddling a broom handle during a contact sport is riddled with hazards....

When you get good and bored, go to Google images and type in cough.....and wonder what they look like they are miming. Trust me...it's worth the visit.

Not all outcomes of ridiculously dangerous activities are.........pleasant.

This man was trying to grab onto a helicopter from the wing of this plane. Didn't make it.

His casual friends witnessing the disaster in shorts, merely uttered in unison, "Awesome."

We all, of course, need men to take risks.

Life is the slowest form of suicide.

Our young men actually volunteer to be shot at with live ammo...

TRUE: I saw a TV show on modern vets and it stated that there is such an adrenalin rush in combat that many of them volunteer for a second and third tour just to experience it again. Think about that a minute.

And please don't try to tell me that women serve also.

I know they serve already. My daughter served in a war zone. But this is not a post about women, now is it?

This is a picture of a mother/son serving together.

I thought it was kind of cool.

But you will have to admit, when the shit is really, truly about to hit the fan, men carry the load.

Of course, men start the wars also...

People who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

Men drink more than women. We drink any time, anywhere....and almost always in excess....we like excess...

Many of us flatly refuse to accept that there is such a thing as too much alcohol...

I'm currently making some changes in my life.
If you don't hear from me anymore, you're probably one of them.

A man will pass out at a table with his face in his plate and...not...even...be....embarrassed....

But god forbid that he pass out drunk in a place that does not have the protection of sober observers with cell phone cameras to document the abuse...

Men find shit like that hilarious...but not embarrassing....
This young man may have found himself in an Emergency Room with second or third degree burn, but afterwards, when the drugs wore off and he could talk, he would utter that word...Awesome.

"No, officer, my speech isn't slurred. I'm just talking in cursive."

Lack of an embarrassment gene allows this man to do this in public and never give it a second thought...

Remember, you are someone's one in 6 million.

You must agree that just about any woman would be embarrassed to have a reference to a penis written in large bold letters on their windshields....HA!

And even though marrying young child should embarrass these men, it doesn't.

It doesn't embarrass them to marry children because their holy books have told them it's okay since the age they were able to understand language of parents that meant them well. Yeah, go figure.

But then you have to remember that men WROTE THE FUCKING HOLY BOOKS!!!.....ALL OF THEM!!!!

Metaphorically, men write a lot of books...

Men's need for superiority over other men takes some very nasty turns sometimes....

And all this happens even though we know down deep that there ain't a dimes worth of difference between us...

Peace, brother.

If I worked at a restaurant on Valentine's Day, I would put a fake engagement ring in every girl's drink.

Men are just large children at heart...I mean that...

TRUE (they say): People who are fascinated by serial killers are rated 70 times more interesting conversationalists compared to those who aren't.

And all men grow old...some with more grace than others...

Those men make me feel a lot better about myself.

Not so much this guy.

I would add: The older we get the better we were.

If you don't know who this guy is, it's okay, it really is.

Don't over think things.

Men love to tease each other...

What I call an adventure, most people call a felony.
But, hey, man, if you don't get caught, everything's legal.

Not that there is anything wrong with that...
(TRUE: Did I tell you that Jay Leno once came back to my house after a show and we sat out on my patio until 4am? Of course I did)

Teasing is part of all animal's male gene...but this may go beyond the pale...

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

My dog winks at me sometimes...and I always wink back in case it's some sort of code.

Now, if you are a black man and you just happen to be President of the whole fucking United States of America, the teasing is more or less relentless...

Nurses do it with little pricks.

Speaking of masturbation....and holy books...and teasing...

If sex between 3 people is called a threesome and sex between 2 people is called a twosome....why is handsome still a compliment?

I'm pretty sure that there are not many women who wash their twats each morning just in case some guy on the subway wants to stick his head up under their skirt and....you know...

But who am I to judge....