FOLIO OLIO: WOMEN - A TUTORIAL FROM A MAN WHO KNOWS EVERY DAMN THING

Prediction: This woman will attract men....period.

There is something about women and beer that men find irresistible....flesh helps....

If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

Not everything that women do can be explained. I, however, will attempt it.

I predict that this woman is making a statement about freedom and trying to model the Statue of Liberty's headgear.

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Make-up....go figure...same woman by the way....

LeAnn Rimes. No it doesn't.

What if the designer of the Titanic really had a lisp and meant to say "It's Unthinkable"?

Here's what I think.

There is a rebellion. She is a major player. She is (from the paint on her pants) an artist. Artists, due to their distain of rules, make excellent revolutionaries.

This is what happens when women don't make the rules.

More on that later....

It's really difficult to find what you want on eBay. I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches.

Women do this sort of thing for.........what?

The time and energy required to maintain this mane makes it difficult to explain.

TRUE: An old friend told me that he and his wife went out with another couple. The other man was wearing a Shag Club t-shirt when they met a couple from England. The English couple couldn't believe it, especially when told that the guy was an instructor.
(Shag: America = dance; England = intercourse)

So fucking close I can smell it...

TRUE: I met a man one time who drank the juice out of the Vienna Sausage can.

My wife's pole dancing lessons are progressing nicely...

???????

I was going to make my wife a rum cake, but now it's just cake and I'm drunk.

Women's clothes can be much more...interesting than men's.

HOLY MOTHER OF FUCKING GOD, YA'LL!!!!

Breasts are interesting, don't you think?

If a woman wears this and leans over like that, it is impossible for a man not to look....honest.

If this young woman showed her tee to a man,

he wouldn't even notice the face on the inside.

Even WolframAlpha is obsessed with breasts...

Men can not not take a peek, no matter how hard we try.

And, women, if you put any cylindrical object in your mouth....well, you know....

Ad men have known for years...

One of the differences between men and women is that this woman will probably be embarrassed over this...

Men don't get embarrassed over vomiting because when they do vomit, they are so drunk they don't remember it. Women, on the other hand, vomit WITHOUT EVEN BEING DRUNK!
Think about that.....She says, "My stomach is feeling strange. I think it might be that taco I ate two weeks ago"; then for no reason whatsoever, throws up for hours........days!!
Yeah...go figure. What kind of god would design such an organism?
Add that to the pain of childbirth and I'm surprised that every woman in the world isn't atheist!

Women sleeping out of doors are so cute...

Most of the time...

Men have even named such women...

As I've stated before I don't make fun of fat people very often.........too easy....

And most of us know it's a gene/glandular thing anyway...

Mayonnaise right out of the jar....I mean DAMN!!!

But there is a price to pay...

Speaking of price to pay....

Lesbians...........that is all........

I'm going to leave this without comment...

Oops! But luckily she discovered her error micro-seconds after she shared it with the WHOLE FUCKING WORLD!!!

(bottom right corner of photo)

If you don't know what Rule #39 is.....well, start paying closer fucking attention!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

There are many of these spoof ads.
Here are my two favorites.

I know this is not this woman's fault, but I've seen dozens of errors like this...one of them had Libya on the west coast of Africa....I just don't get it. Don't we all have Google?