FOLIO OLIO: ODDITIES THAT I FIND....ODD

First, a joke...

I'm not big on charities. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing is not that hard.

These "Light Towers" at Ground Zero have to be turned off periodically due to them confusing migratory birds....

I hate when people see me at the grocery store and they say something like, "Hey, what are you doing here?"
I always like to say something like, "They have free root canals on aisle four."

Well played, young man, well played.

thepenisinhermouth
Did you read "the pen is in her mouth"?
Nah, me neither.

This is a political cartoon from the middle east that I find perplexing.....

How come god never talks to smart people anymore?

That woman decided to get that tattoo after her mother-in-law took years and years to die even though she wanted to die.

How much can I fit
Into a haiku format
Oh no I'm out of

I find these delightful....

Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.

TRUE: Almost half of all college graduates in the world come from only three countries: US, China, and Japan.
Further, 38% of Americans have some sort of degree....I had no idea it was that high.

This man really, really likes his goats...

There was recently a great video clip of passersby lifting a burning a car and pulling a man out. Well, today I watched it backwards and it was hilarious.

EXTREME cock fighting....

BOOZE: No good story ever started with someone eating a salad.

I have absolutely no idea what this means....

TRUE: I heard some prick on TV say that we should cut corporate taxes to zero, and pay for it by closing their loopholes. Think about that.

And what the fuck is the message here?

MIXED METAPHOR OF THE DAY: He was heads and tails above his competitors.

You think?!?!

There's a whole bunch wrong with this...

It's a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells to locate a female egg despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.

Gangsta through and through...

MY HONEST OPINION OF THE DAY:
People should not be afraid of their government.
Governments should be afraid of their people.

Yes, this is a prom photo, and, yes, that is a blow-up doll...

Please notice the look on this woman's face....

This is how her hats are intended to be employed...

Do you think that really slutty girls say, "That's what I said?"

What a profound image....

I listened to a discussion from physicists about UFO's. Amazingly the jury is still out. To paraphrase, 95% of all sightings can be explained, but that still leaves 5% that can not be explained. Further, there is absolutely no evidence that they do not exist, but there is radar, expert eye witnesses, and photographs that they are real.
When asked why they don't land on the White House lawn, a scientist said that most people assume that the aliens are hundreds or thousands of years in advance of us, but what if they are a million or hundreds of millions of years in advance of us. When we are exploring a strange land, we would not look down on an ant hill and ask to speak to their queen or try to tell them about nuclear fusion.

As I understand it, this kid was left at home alone while his parents worked and was taught how to fend for himself...

Ouch!!!

No explanation for this image, but I think you will agree that it is profound....

This is one of the greatest ideas of all time....tied with the wheel and electricity....

I hate it when I don't forward a chain letter and I die the next day.

There are a whole bunch of these in England. They are called wish trees and not all of them are dead. They are made by hammering a coin into the tree and making a wish. I think this is cool as fucking shit....

One time I called my boss and told him I couldn't come in because I was sick. He asked me how sick I was. I said, "I once got turned on by my microwave. I piss in my neighbor's mailbox every Sunday. I masturbate to my parent's wedding video."
Stopping me he said, "I was talking healthwise."

If my daughter had been born a boy I would have named her Odysseus, since she managed to break through the Trojan wall.

Sometimes when my wife is away I roll up in a blanket and pretend I'm a caterpillar.

The first rule of bullet proof glass....fuck the former first lady.....save the bagpiper.....

AMAZE GIRLS WITH YOUR LANGUAGE POWER....

1. You: 84% of women masturbate in the shower at least once a week. Do you know what the other 16% do?
She: No.
You: Gotcha!

2. She: What do you think about gay people?
You: I don't hate them or anything, but I think the sex is kind of gross.
She: What do you mean gross?
You: Well, you know...dicks in buttholes...that's where poop comes out.
She: You're a homophobe! How can you say that?!
You: No, I'm not...you know...do you think anal sex is beautiful?
She: Yes.
You: Target acquired!