Poo-poo, Tee-tee, and the naughty bits...in no particular order

John Wayne's camel toe...something you don't see every fucking day....

Speaking of big balls....

This man decided to carve a whole mountain with no government help. Yes, he has (had) balls....

For my birthday my wife took me out to eat. I had the best meal of my life. Write this down.....The Number One With Beans. It was wonderful.

I finally went in a Starbucks. I ordered a Cafe Mocha Vodka Marijuana Latte to go.

TRUE: Women attempt suicide more often, but men complete suicide at a rate 4x that of women.
(I have no idea what we can learn from that)


Who's laughing now, motherfucker?!

Soup is either a lazy food or a drink that's trying too hard.


Think about this one a minute...

You know it's going to be a great story when it starts of with...."So this bitch....."


Very clever, she....

You talk to god, you're religious.
God talks to you, you're psychotic.


From my wife's new play book....best $10,000 I've ever spent...

The bigger the boobs, the uglier the bra.


(If you don't know what FAP means...look it up)

Whether a man winds up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!


I know it's hard (no pun intended) for you women to understand, but to men, penises are both deadly serious and hilarious at the same time. It don't have to make sense to be absolutely factual.

The difference between the almost right word and the right word is the difference between lightning bug and lightning.


If you don't get this, ask your son...

Sometimes I look at old girlfriends and ask myself, "Was I drunk the entire relationship?"

Assuming a woman has periods from the age 13 to 50...that is about 444 periods, and if each period lasts about a week, each woman spends about 8.5 years bleeding during their lifetime.
(no wonder they are pissed off about it)

I truly find shit like this very interesting....

GREEK PROVERB: A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.


Weeeeeellll, this explains A LOT!!!

SHIT I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW:
Doritos make an excellent fire starting material.

"I can think of no more stirring symbol of man's humanity to man than a fire engine." - Kurt Vonnegut


Just look at those amazing formations....

Pigs are not supposed to eat bacon.

School is like a boner....it's long and hard....unless you're asian.

(Hahahahahahahaha)

Speaking of balls....I MEAN, DAMN!!!

This reminds me of spreading my scrotum over a flashlight..

Flashlight to fleshlight...clever me.....

TRUE:

Balls....these men have them...that is all....

TOONS TO AMUSE....

One of my very own...

WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE SLUTS,
BUT PROBABLY AREN'T....