ANIMALS THAT DON'T SUCK

I'm emptying my files. I'm not sure why, but I am. I'm thinking of just offering to you what I find each day. We'll see how that works out....no guarantees.

Let's do dogs....


If you have never owned a dog, then you should not be allowed to have children...

Iron Man is a super hero.
Iron woman is a command.

During a wilderness chase in a movie, why is there always a cliff to jump off of into a river?

I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.

Can you raise your IQ by eating gifted children

TRUE: I overheard this conversations between to Purple Heart veterans tonight:
"Well, goddamnit, I know you can't hear me! Why don't you wear that expensive hearing aid you've got?"
"Can't find it. Been looking for months."
(and that, gentle reader, is absolutely fucking true)

Early on firemen would take Dalmatians to keep people away from the horses. It seems they were very good at that.

Women have all the luck. They can all the sex they want and not have to worry about getting someone pregnant!

I'm organizing an event this weekend for people who have problems with ejaculation. If you can't come, please let me know.

It's never acceptable to shout "I've got diarrhea!", unless it's in the middle of a Scrabble game, then it's worth a shitload of points.

I was on the Blossom Street bridge and people kept screaming Jump, Jump....and I was just out for a jog.

If you live in a very dangerous environment and you are bright blue....that means you are the baddest motherfucker in the jungle...

I love everybody. Some I love to be around. Some I love to avoid. And some I would love to punch in the fucking face.

Yeah, flying's good....

ARE THOSE FUCKING ANAL BEADS?!?!?!?!!?

I'll bet you money this child has a corny pet name for this beast...like Mr. Jiggers or some such shit....

Look, I don't care what job this man is applying for, if you see "massaging lions' feet" on his resume...HE'S HIRED!!!

Remember, folks, you heard it here first...this cute little lethal machines are responsible for more exterminations of species than any other....but have a nice day anyway....

"Candy-Gram."

(Candy-Gram...I made that shit up myself....HAHAHAHAH!!!

I think that caption reads? Try to fuck me now and you die.

I don't care how you feel about hunting, this is just wrong!

And you know why the horns are in demand? Rich asian fucks think it will make their dicks get hard....and that's true!

Mammal play time....wonderful....

"You gonna eat all of that?"

And if he dies...he dies happy....

"Hey, bitch, I got toast! Bitches are supposed to like toast!"

"Run away!!! Run away!!! (think Monte Python movie)

I saw a whole photo essay about this guy. He was out in the middle of nowhere and a wolf befriended him for no apparent reason.

"Honey, does this fence make my ass look big?"

(goddman, folks, that's funny as shit!!)


??????

ANIMAL TOONS TO AMUSE...

One of my very own....

WOMEN JUST STANDING AROUND LOOKING DRAMATIC AND LIKE SLUTS, BUT PROBABLY AREN'T...