THINGS NOT TALKED ABOUT IN POLITE COMPANY

HMMMMMM, Pavlov....Pavlov....Paaaaavloooov...that name rings a bell.


THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS TO LIVE WITH THIS HIS WHOLE FUCKING LIFE!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHHHHAAAAHAHAHAHAHHHAA!!!!


I don't make this stuff up, folks. Just read the fucking book with modern eyes...then observe what's still going on in the middle east....

"Angelina! You have enough kids! PUT HIM BACK!!!


Oooooh, dat ass.....

I am embarrassed to say that I have never tasted Nutella.




This is why I didn't become a dancer...

(but he seems to be enjoying himself)


TRUE: A woman friend got into an bit of a spat with a woman over something trivial, and the other woman thought she would end it once and for all by saying this:
"Well, I have an IQ of 189, so I ought to know!"
My friend but smiled and said, "Well, I have an IQ of 192."
(when she told me I suggested that she should have ended it with..."and we eat 189's for lunch".)




Get a fucking room!!!!

I'm think this phenomenon might be gender neutral...

This is a "One of my very own" that fits too well here not to use it....

....Right hand?......maybe....

We can only assume the topic of this conversation...

(NONE OF THESE WOMEN ARE MY WIFE!!)

He must smell my monkey...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
(I made that up myself)


TRUE FACT: The average American child recognizes over 200 company logos by the time he enters first grade.


Hey, baby, how about a little head?.....head....get it?

TF: The H-bomb is the bloodless weapon. It leaves no blood, only radioactive ash within 20 km radius.

If you don't know why this is funny after all this time, it's okay, it really is...

TF: Adolf Hitler was chosen Time Magazine's 1938 Man of the Year.
(and I bet his Jewish grand-mother would have been proud)


My wife practiced her Halloween costume...

The doll, Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
(I'm betting you had no idea)

TRUE: The University of South Carolina just announced a $2.5 million study to seek the cause of weight gain.




Oh, look, a really tiny sink faucet....

Yeah, Snow White has seven male dwarf....."friends"...

What a great way to make sure men don't miss the urinal...

Stress: The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living shit out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.


Well, it seems we have a dilemma... 

"Excuse me, senator, what about our rights?"
"Well, maybe you should have thought about that before you decided to stop being a fetus."


Green?!?!.....why green?

You think she discussed this decision with anyone before going under the needle?

I bet the tattoo artist went home after doing it and said to his wife, "You won't believe this shit..."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


Happily ever after is so once upon a time.


(I think this may be a repost...sorry)

The "Average" human is a 28 year old, right-handed Chinese man with a mobile phone and no bank account.


????????

Indeed.....

My wife told me that I need a new hobby. I'm thinking of trying up crystal meth just to piss her off, then blame her when my teeth fall out and I start shitting myself and begin to steal her egg money.

When I die, I want my last words to be, "I left a million dollars under the...", then vomit an assload of blood and then move my lips like I have something to add, but, of course, don't.

I think sucking a bums dick is at or very near the bottom of everyone's list of things to do...then, of course, there's the death thing...

Nobody ever shoots themselves in the stomach on purpose.

TOONS ABOUT THE NAUGHTY BITS....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

 One of my very own....

SOME NAKED-ISH WOMEN HANGING OUT IN UNUSUAL PLACES LOOKING LIKE SLUTS, BUT PROBABLY AREN'T....

Rule 39....well done....

If you ever see a woman like this, with a look like that, it is  guaranteed that you are going to get your ass chained to a fucking bed....and there will be whips involved....and maybe a pair of pliers and a blow torch....with her "friends" watching....