ASSHOLES AND OTHER ODDITIES

This Asshole Jesus has been around a while.
I still like to go back and look at it from time to time.

And speaking of assholes, I stumbled across this the other day. I find it.....odd.  Odd enough to do a big part of a blog dedicated to one of our forgotten parts...
And, yes, that is what you think it is...

She has her boyfriend (or I hope it's her boyfriend) paint her asshole with ink, then presses paper on it to produce a print....lots and lots of prints...

And just what do you do with a print of your asshole?
Well, sell them on Ebay, of course.

Then (on the same day!) I ran into this...

Then right after I found that, I found this bit of wisdom...

It was uncanny is what it was.


It was reported that the gun wasn't loaded....

Yes, that's a cellphone....

??????

I will never look at one of these again without thinking of this post...

I once thought that Herpes was a Greek god.
You can imagine how embarrassed I was when I dropped it into a conversation at a wedding reception.




And I don't know what the fuck this is, but it looked gross enough to include in this post...

Speaking of gross things that could happen to one's asshole...

So, I figured if we are down in the naughty bits area, we might as well pull out all the stops....no pun intended...

Did you understand why that last one is....odd?


I don't exercise to live longer.
I exercise so when I'm about to die I will think, "At least I won't have to fucking exercise any more."




Madison Avenue at it's finest....

Deluxe 9.5" for that deeper massage.


Plans are like fat people.
Most of them don't work out.




Shouldn't this read "preventers"?

A man can not look at this without wincing...

What the fuck, indeed? A man CAN NOT eat a banana in public....ever.

Try to broaden your horizons in an interesting way and suddenly everyone is calling you a cannibal. Find, then. I'm cool with that.




Do. Not. Turn. Around.

There is a dick joke in here somewhere...

Every time I make a typos, the errorists win.




Interesting read...

As you regular readers know, I have a thing about bathrooms. It might be because I spend so much time in them, but I still find them interesting.

I once had a friend tell me that a good shit is equal to average sex. I but smiled, since I haven't had a good shit since the Reagan administration.

If Hitler and Lieutenant Worf were to kiss, their mustaches would never touch.

I would like to meet this lady. I bet she's a hoot.

When I have birthdays, I like to think:
Me: 65     Death: 0

It was stated that this is this guy's real office.

See, this lady has it figured out. I spend so much time in bathrooms I often eat my lunch in there, but I've never tried hard liquor. I'll let you know how it works out.....no pun intended.

This Thanksgiving remember to eat like the 1% and drink like the 99%.




Believe this or not, a million years ago my brother worked for a gas station in rural Alabama and four or five rolls of toilet paper were stolen every day. But I still think this may be overkill.

Phallic is a fancy word for boner-looking.
Men think of dicks all the time. I know cause I do and I'm a man. Each of the following reminds men of their dicks.

When I see that Jehovah Witnesses have come to visit I always answer the door naked.

One Halloween I dressed up like a penis and chased lesbians.

And just about anything can make a man think about vaginas. Here are but a few...

Good friends don't let you do stupid things............alone.

Scars are like tattoos with better stories.

TOONS ABOUT THE NAUGHTY BITS....

The Venus Flytrap eats meat. I bet that confuses the shit out of vegetarians.




One of my very own...

WOMEN WHO LET PHOTOGRAPHERS GET REAL CLOSE TO THEIR NIPPLES AND THUS LOOK LIKE SLUTS, BUT PROBABLY AREN'T...