MORE NAUGHTY BITS

My wife hates bras. I ask her one time why see wore them and she said she had to or people would see her nipples.

What kind of fucking logic is that?

If a real man designed tops, they would all look like this...

And dresses would look like this...

A guy sat down next to me on a bar stool and within only a couple of minutes he said, "Today is my birthday." I figured he just wanted me to buy him a drink, so I said, "You know, if you were Jesus, today would be Christmas."

He moved to another stool.

THE MALE NAUGHTY BITS

You can't imagine how this befuddles a man's mind...

Always remember, it's hard to talk shit without any teeth.

I ordered a hamburger one time and it came with a hair on the patty. I called the waitress and showed her. She said it was because the chef placed a meat ball in his arm pit and flattened it by closing his arm on it. I said that was disgusting and she said, "You ought to see how he makes donuts."

Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except you.

TOILET HUMOR

If you do this, then fuck you....it couldn't have been an accident...

My wife had a friend who stated that the best sex of her life occurred in a stall in a men's restroom. Yeah, DAMN!

My wife told me that if I insisted on looking like dog shit, I might as well go lay out on the lawn.

Trust is like an eraser. It gets smaller and smaller with every single mistake.

WOMEN

Don't freak out, lady. Have you taken a close look at GI Joe lately?

The reason I curse so much is because of fuck you.


Well, of course you will, dear....

Dear McDonald's cashier,
Don't give me that look. There is no age limit on a Happy Meal.


I have the feeling that this is not her first rodeo....

This was my favorite part of river baptisms....

Some horses just want to watch people sleep.


I can guess what caused the accident to start with....

Lighthouses don't go running all over an island looking for boats to save. They just stand there shining.


A prostitute....

I got arrested one time and the cop said, "You have the right to remain silent and anything you say will be held against you."
I said, "Boobs."


What now, Tinker Bell?

Everybody talks about leaving a better planet for the children. Why not try to leave better children for the planet?


TRUE: I had a teacher in high school who wore short skirts and liked to sit on a stool. I always arrived in class early to have a front row seat.

GEOGRAPHY LESSON: Alaska is the most Northern, Eastern and Western state in America.


This is the University of South Carolina's football coach checking out some ass...

A flock of starlings is called a murmuration. 


Well, why don't you just write it on your....oh, wait, you did.....

You can tell a lot about the education of a man by the cleverness of his T-shirt....

Broccoli is the only vegetable that is also a flower.


There is a debate on-line if very healthy women are sexy...

I say any woman who can pull like that has my vote...

I'm proud to say that I haven't gone to bed completely sober in thirty years.

BLOW JOBS

I watched March of the Penguins and am amazed they taught all those fuckers how to do all those things on cue.


Beats Bobbing for Apples if you ask me.....

Seriously. You want me to stand against a wall will a half dozen other men and we are all going to have an orgasm at the same time. I don't think so.


Does everybody's mouth form the word shit when something goes wrong, no matter where you are?


I like honest advertising...

Admit it, you still use your hands to tell which way is left and which is right.

The Food Channel is like porn for your stomach.

If you want him on one knee, you had better be willing to get on two.

???????

Breakfast....the most important meal of the day...

6.9....a little fun interrupted by a period.

I'm kind of a big deal in Wyoming.

The "I Like It Up The Ass Club" group portrait, 1923...

The "I Like It Up The Ass Club", Alabama chapter...

If you are not a football fan, this will make no sense....
There is the NFC, the AFC and the SEC.
Think about it a minute.

First they had male schools and female school and then sexual preference schools, now they have a school for virgins....

But there is really no such thing as virgins in America. We are getting fucked every single day...

This man and I have only one thing in common.

And that is, both of us are Americans and deserve the same rights.


If you think this is evil, you are the evil one...

And add a little blood, and hell fucking yeah!!!

Do you actually want to be on this guy's side?

A voice in his head told him to do this, just like Abraham's voice told him to stab the shit out of his own son.
It's the same fucking thing, people.

Well said, young man...well said....

What pervert would want a child exposed to tolerance, diversity, equality, respect and acceptance? 

So what are some of the things the bible says about sex?

 (raise up seed means you have to fuck her)

 (question: How do people know what the emission of horses looks like?)

At least he's come out of the closet....

NAUGHTY BIT TOONS TO AMUSE...

Several not so funny Ones of my very own about the naughty bits...

WOMEN WHO UNDERSTAND RULE #39....

Rule #39: If a woman is in the middle of nowhere with her man, she is expected to get naked.....and not bitch about it.