HUMANS - SOME FUNNY, SOME NOT

HUMANS - FUNNY

It's all about money, not freedom. You think you're free? Try going somewhere without money.
Bill Hicks

Moody Bitch seeks Nice Guy for love-hate relationship.

I gave my wife a Valentine that read:
IF WE WERE EVER IN A HUMAN CENTIPEDE-TYPE SITUATION, I WOULD CHOOSE HER OVER THE FRONT.

I know the voices aren't real, but they have some really great ideas.

This is an M.
This is a W.
You CAN NOT just turn them upside down and change them to the other.
Write that shit down.

If you're going to tell people the truth, you better make them laugh; otherwise they'll kill you.
- George Bernard Shaw

Scientific Fact: Fossil fuel is renewable. It's just that humans won't survive to see it.

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash it....ever.

Kay Jewelers says every kiss begins with Kay. I disagree. I say more kisses begins with Bud Light.

TRUE: To save a whole bunch of money, the widow of my now dead friend decided that everyone would take their own cars. While they were going down the interstate the dinger sounded, warning that she was about to run out of gas. So she flew past the hearst, took the next exit, got 10 gallons, then caught up with the procession. 

Too many idiots...
Too few bullets.

This should be illegal...

If you don't remember the movie, then this will not be near as funny...

My hero....

I just read that last year 4,153,237 people got married.
(I don't want to make trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number)

I've mentioned this before....

Now, this from a reliable site...

Okay, I support breast feeding, but.....

HUMANS - UNFUNNY

Artistically, there is a lot right with this picture...

These are actual photos of Titanic survivors...

Including the magnificent bastard...

Crossword Clue: 11 or 12, but not 13
_ _ _ _
[ HOUR ]




Now let's get real serious....

This is what babies are supposed to look like...

This is what babies are not supposed to look like...

One of my newly dead friends was named Dom Fusci. Many, many years ago he and a lifelong friend bought a bottle of Scotch and it was agreed that the last one to die drink it. When Dom's friend visited him the night before he died, Dom gave him the bottle. He knew.
Also, one of the last things he said was, "I hear music". And there was no music in the house at that time.
We all wondered what song it was, then concluded it must have been "I Did it My Way", because Dom surely did.

TOONS TO AMUSE...

ONE OF MY VERY OWN...

 (you sang that, didn't you)

I SEE WHAT YOU WERE DOING, BUT DON'T LET THAT STOP YOU.....