FOLKS NOT LIKE US

I feel uncomfortable if my TV volume is set to an odd number.

Urine jokes piss me off.

How to insure elbow room....

I'm high on life.
Or pot.
Okay, it's just the pot.
Hahahahahahah.
Fuck.

When I was teaching I would always seat my favorite students next to the most attractive people in the room.

Photographers....go figure....

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer to drink a shit load of beer.

It's okay. Plenty of people don't win the lottery the first few million times they play.

It is impossible to overestimate shower sex.

I am very disappointed.

There is a Wicked Witch joke in here somewhere....

To all the students who dropped out of high school, remember two things:
1. You tried your best.
2. I don't like onions on my Big Mac.

What if everything in life had a handle you could jiggle.

Anyone who says having a child is the best moment of their life has obviously never had two Kit-Kats fall out of the vending machine at once.

You might want to look at the bald guy on the far end very carefully....

69% of people can find something sexual in everything.

Thanks for having your daily meltdowns in a cubicle rather than a cockpit.

Enjoy life's journey, cause the destination is going to suck.

This woman is wearing two bras....

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

"What ya doin'?"

"Just hangin' out."

Have you ever been so high that you became a ferret?

These men just broke a World Record....35 naked men playing miniature golf at one time......WOW!!!

Never half-ass two things...whole-ass one thing.

Well, well, well, how the turntables.

 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!

If it's your birthday, I hope you have a joyous time celebrating the day your face rubbed your mother's vagina.

There is a war going on in your mind.
If you are thinking, then you are winning.

Libraries - Where Shhhhh happens.

On the third day god created the "undo button" in all its glory.

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day.
Don't teach a man to fish and feed yourself.
He's a grown man, and fishing is not that hard.

Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.
- Apollinaire

Vegetarian? Sure.
There's no meat in beer.

TOONS TO AMUSE....

ONE OF MY VERY OWN...

WOMEN WHO ARE SMOKIN'......

NOTE: Cleaning out the old T-shirt file for a rare Saturday posting.